Undeniably Yours (Torn, #3.5)(20)

The thought of sliding into her got me twisted. So when she stopped me, I was ready to bang my head against the wall.

“Bass… no…”

Shit, I had to stop. Withdrawing my hands, I panted wildly, praying for something to kill me because I was beyond losing it.

When Emma rolled atop me and patted my arm, I knew I was done for. “Let’s go to sleep. Playtime’s over.”

For you maybe, I wanted to jab in, but held off.

You’re not her man, so shut the f*uk up.





Setting You Free



“I’m going to get us some water. I’ll be back.” I needed any excuse to get away from her immediately. So if the excuse had come out lame, I wasn’t about to complain.

Once I was in the kitchen, I leaned against the fridge and inhaled deeply. “Get your shit together, man,” I softly muttered to myself.

Tomorrow was another day. I was confident that I was going to be over this—her. It was probably because I never had a fair chance to win her over, which was why I was so affected by her.

This was all about sex… male ego and domination. It was normal for a man, any man, to want something they couldn’t have. So my reaction to her was fair and square.

It wasn’t anything crazy… like being in love with her. This was normal, so I shouldn’t worry much.

I double checked the house and then saw Emma’s things on top of my car. I strode towards it and took hold of her shoes and clutch purse, placing them in the foyer.

In a much brighter mood, I took a glass of iced water upstairs. The second I saw her sleepy face, my heart dropped to my stomach.

Damn, I could do this.

“Thanks.” Emma reached out and downed half the glass before she handed it back and I placed it on my bedside table. Without taking off my clothes, I laid next to her, pulling her warm body against my chest.

I’ve got it bad—so bad—and I just have to man up about it.

I huffed out a depressing sigh before I started to stroke her hair. In quiet silence, we each dwelled on our own thoughts.

After ten minutes or so, I shifted to lie on my side, facing against her body. Gathering her in my arms, I pulled her close to me again. Emma softly clung onto me before her lips kissed my neck. Closing my eyes, I memorized the way she felt against me; I wanted to remember the feel of her heart beating against mine.

Emma trailed her nose against the crook of my neck before leaving another kiss on my skin.

No words were spoken, but we knew what was going on.

It was goodbye.

It was agonizing to be holding a woman who wasn’t mine, and yet, she felt like she belonged here, with me. Never had a woman felt so right, yet so wrong.

For an hour, I lavished on her sleeping form softly breathing me in. My arm was numb from low blood circulation, yet I didn’t care as long as Emma was comfortable. Most of all, I didn’t want to move her at all.

I wanted to stay like this for as long as I could.

We fell asleep holding each other.

When I felt her move, prying herself free of my hold, I released her, even though it was the last thing I wanted. At the end of the day, as long as she was happy, that’s all that mattered.

I felt the heat of her gaze as she studied me. I wanted to open my eyes and smile at her, yet I simply couldn’t muster the willpower to do so. I was holding down the best I could, and saying goodbye to her face to face would cut me up too much; more than I could bear.

After she slid off the mattress, I listened to her readying to leave. Sometimes I would crack an eye open just to watch her for these last precious moments. The whole time, she looked sad.

I wasn’t sure if she was feeling guilty about spending some time with me, or if she was sad to leave as well. I wouldn’t know, I guess.

For the entire time, I listened to her, picturing how she was putting her shoes on as she got to the entry hall. Then, when I heard the final thud of the door, my heart contracted.

She wasn’t mine, I kept telling myself over and over again. Yet, none of the words seemed to hold any meaning, nor were they helping ease my pain.

“I’ll miss you, Emma,” I whispered, smelling the pillow that had held her head only a few minutes ago.

This feeling was certainly new to me. I felt like I was being ripped open and nothing was ever going to heal me.

It was bizarre to want a woman the way I craved Emma, but then again, I knew one thing for sure.

Never will I let this shit happen to me again.

Never again, I vowed.





A Ticking Time Bomb


Eight months later…

Greece



Alexia and I were talking as I slowly told her that I couldn’t keep her here during filming. You see, I always had a woman with me during filming. The last one was Lydia.

If I wanted to be an * I could keep Alexia around, but I didn’t want to insult Emma. Even though she was the last person I wanted to share the cottage with, I didn’t have much choice left in the matter because there wasn’t another one left, unless she decided to move into the bigger villa, which had been chosen by most of the older folks.

Even though the f*uking sight of her made my heart contract a thousand times harder than before, I still respected her. So, I had to do the whole goodbye spiel to Alexia. She didn’t throw a fit; after I sent her off with half a million dollar check, of course. She was supposed to stay with me for almost three months, which would’ve given her time to accumulate all the things she could’ve possibly gotten from me during her stay; that was how it always worked out.