Undeniably Yours (Torn, #3.5)(14)

She was going to do great, I knew it. This was her calling. I only needed her to see it, yet her insecurity was like a massive tsunami in her mind; washing away all her excitement, her faith in herself and her fire.

“I don’t know.” She shook her head and let out a long breath. “Can you guys give me until the weekend to think it over?”

I shook my head, feeling disconcerted at her hesitation. “Martin needs your answer by nine this morning.”

As it turned out, Emma got signed the next day. I had my agent, Barbara, take care of everything for her.

I was ecstatic—over the moon—at the thought of months alone with her, but little did I know that things were just about to shift…





The Waiting Game



Me: You may be out of my sight and far from my reach... but you are certainly never out of my mind... Goodnight, my sweet Emma.

I sent her a text message, letting her know that I was thinking of her.

It was just this morning that she had signed with Barbara, but Emma hadn’t left my thoughts. I went to sleep with a smile, sensing that things might be favorable for me this time.

The next morning, she informed me that she was going to go camping with her friends. Checking the time, I decided to give her a quick call before she left, just in case she might not have any signal in the cabins. Also, add the fact that there was a fat chance that her ex was going to be there, so I honestly wanted her to get reminded of me, in case she forgot. I was hopeless. With a melancholy sigh, I dialed her number.

“Hello?”

“All packed and ready?” I asked as relief coursed through me upon hearing her voice on the line.

She sighed. “Yes, you could say that. Are you all packed for Vancouver?” Emma asked with a heavy sadness.

It pleased me to no end to know that she cared enough to be saddened that I was about to leave the country to film soon. If things went my way, I would do all I could to visit her. After all, Vancouver wasn’t all that far from LA. I could fly in and out during weekends just to see her for a little while.

“I’m not leaving until Wednesday, Em. I still have a few days to pack and stuff. Anyway, I just called to say have a safe trip and I will see you before I leave for Vancouver.”

“Great, I’ll see you then. Be safe and have a great weekend.”

I doubt it would be as fun as hers. “I want to say the same, but I honestly don’t want you to have too much fun with your ex. Just be safe, all right? Do take care, my sweet Emma. Bye.”

“Bye,” she whispered, sounding a little deflated.

Her sad tone got to me. Even after watching some of my retro films in my theatre, her voice was stuck in my brain. When I texted her with a bit of light banter, I was overly excited when she replied almost immediately.

Just like a total besotted fool, I typed my thoughts away.

Me: I know that my life is my own, but if you did ask it of me, then I would be more than happy. I’m leaving for Canada soon and I can’t help but think about you and what happens next. I know it’s too early for you to even think about being in another relationship, but that’s what I want with you... I just want you to know... need you to know that I’m serious about us. When you’re ready, I want to be with you, Emma.

After a couple of hours with no reply, I sent another.

Me: Was that too much at one time? I’ve waited for your response for over an hour now. Emma?

I kept checking my phone, hoping she’d text me, but after the tenth time, I decided to simply send one more message.

“f*uk. I seriously need to chill,” I muttered under my breath as I texted, yet again.

Me: Sorry, Em. I guess that was the wrong thing for me to say. It was inconsiderate even. I merely wanted assurance that you somehow… somewhat… feel the same.

It was already about midnight and I stayed up late as usual, ignoring all of the dinner and party invitations that were bombarding my phone because I didn’t feel celebratory. No, I was the total opposite of that.

Me: Emma? I suppose your silence is answer enough. That’s all right. I’m not angry, so don’t worry. I won’t mention it again.

The next morning when I saw that she hadn’t replied yet, I decided to cut the ties. Why? Because her goddamned phone rang, so that meant that she got my messages, but decided not to bother with them. So ‘no signal’ wasn’t a feasible explanation.

She was probably back with her ex. Carter didn’t look like the kind of guy who would have given up so easily. No, he’d looked like he was going to do anything to get her back. Men knew men and, when a guy acted that jealous with a woman, he was going to do everything in his power to get her. Top that with the obvious fact that she loved him and then Emma didn’t stand a chance when he was going to go in for the sweep.

She belonged to him, yet it still hurt to know that.

When it came to her, I was risking far too much of myself. It wasn’t her beauty that captured me, it was the way she looked at me; like she was staring into my soul. When she touched me, it felt like she reached inside my chest and grasped my heart with her bare hand.

Emma made me feel.

As scary as those feelings were, I welcomed them because, even in that little time we’d spent together, she became someone incredibly special to me.

She was the unforgettable woman who’d swooped in, changed me inside and out and made a lasting impression as she left a scar in me.