Trusting Nicole (The Last Hangman MC #4)(26)

“Come on, speak up.”

“I don’t know…”

“If there’s one person who will understand it’s me.”

“Alright. But promise not to judge.”

“I promise.” I smile and raise my right hand.

“Oi, hands on the stirring wheel. No need to get us killed.” I can’t help but chuckle.

“Alright, alright.” I return my focus on the road and let her gather her thoughts.

“A couple of months ago, I was on vacation break. I went to my parents’ cabin in the woods, it’s completely out of the way except for another cabin next to it. I never knew who it belonged to, for all me and my family knew, it was abandoned. Anyway, long story short, someone was in it this time and we started to talk and even though I had planned on being on my own, it was nice to be around someone who wasn’t a cop.” She chuckles.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” I grin, knowing exactly what she means.

“Oh I know, Officer.” She laughs.

“Alright, stop it.” It feels good to relax, who knew someone knowing the truth about me would be so liberating?

“Sorry, it was too tempting. Anyway, we started to talk and well, one thing lead to another, one beer bottle turned into shots and that resulted in a wild weekend I never expected.”

“Nothing wrong with having some fun between adults.”

“No, unless you find out later on when you come back to real life that he is part of the Last Hangman.” She groans and I can’t help but laugh. I try not to, but I just can’t keep it in.

“Please tell me it’s not Bennett.” She glares at me and crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m sorry, really. I did not expect that.”

“Right.”

“I promise, I’m really sorry. So, who was it?”

“Callum.” She groans.

“Oh, Mr dark and brooding. Didn’t think he’d be your type.”

“Neither did I. I didn’t expect anything but to come back relaxed from my weekend away. I did, at first.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“He’s an outlaw and I’m a cop. I shouldn’t have done anything with him.”

“If it was a onetime thing, why is it such a big deal?” I ask, still keeping a look out for anything suspicious.

“Because what was a onetime thing turned into a bit more than just one time. It’s over now, but yeah, it happened more than once.”

“Don’t feel ashamed. There’s nothing wrong with you enjoying life, even if it’s with someone you should technically stay away from. If you enjoyed it while it was going on then that’s all that matters. Is he the reason why you can’t bring yourself to arrest any of them? Are you hoping for more with him?” I ask with as much tact as I can.

“I just — I’ve never had much luck with men before and the one time I find one that makes me feel something, he turns out to be one of the men I swore to hate. He is partly the reason why I can’t. I’m scared if I arrest any of them, they will use what happened between Callum and I against me and ruin my career.”

“They’d need to have physical evidences that you were with him to blackmail you.”

“He does.” She groans and covers her face. I bite the inside of my mouth trying not to laugh again.

“Interesting.”

“Don’t start. It’s mortifying to think that they could all be watching the video and getting off on it.”

“One thing I know for sure is that they aren’t like that. They might f*ck whomever they please, but they aren’t about humiliating women. If he has a video of you two together, the only person getting off from it is Callum.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, they are too protective of their women to do that kind of thing. If he wanted to have an audience he would have f*cked you in the middle of their compound.” I chuckle seeing her shudder. “The women doing that are all consenting. They aren’t like the Disciples or Kings.”

“If you say so.” She sighs sadly.

“You want him back, don’t you?”

“Kind of. As I said, he is the only man who’s ever made me feel anything.”

“Who ended things?”

“I did. I was struggling between knowing he was doing illegal shit and my job.”

“Does it really matter?” I ask her completely understanding her struggle even though I’m not a real cop. I know the struggle of having the two things you love and believe in tear you apart.

“You don’t understand.”

“I do. More than you can imagine. You feel like your two worlds are incompatible, like no matter what your feelings for him are, you can’t be together because of what you do, but you’re just lying to yourself. You want him in your life and you’re going to be miserable unless you open up and talk it out.”

“That’s why you’re not doing it with Nicole.” She scoffs.

“That’s different.” I sigh, knowing it’s not any different, I’m just being a stubborn *.

“It’s not and you know it. You want her in your life full time but you are scared of what your past and present could do to her. I’m not stupid, Sanders.”