Touched (The Untouched Trilogy #2)(43)
“What did you say Aria?”
“I’ve heard that before,” I repeated.
“What? That I’ll never leave?” he asked.
“Not from you specifically. From my dad. When I was younger, I guess I was about nine or ten. My friend’s parents divorced and her dad left and she rarely saw him after that. One night Dad was saying goodnight to me and I said to him, “Promise you’ll never leave.” And he promised and I believed him. But I was just a kid so why would I not believe him, right? I could feel the tears building. I inhaled hoping to choke them back. In the end, he left … and he never looked back.”
I didn’t want to feel this way, especially after such a beautiful experience with him but that dream, that ridiculous dream – it wouldn’t let me go.
“I don’t have either of my parents and I have two sisters to take care of. I don’t know how I’m going to do this Aiden. Every day when I look at them, all I see is what I no longer have.”
“Aria, you –”
“I don’t want to talk about it Aiden,” I said, jumping from the bed. “I’m going to take a shower,” I said, turning to face him.
He didn’t say anything but I could see he was going to make me talk about this, and I would…but not now.
“Well hurry and get dressed. After breakfast, Allison has the day planned for us,” he said following me to the bathroom.
After our shower, I emerged from the bathroom and headed to his closet for something to wear.
“What does Allison have planned?” I asked.
“The Skating Club and lunch at Bronwyn. Do you like German cuisine?”
“Sure, but that doesn’t sound like the entire day,” I said.
“She wants to show your sisters around a bit and then head to The Sinclair for dinner and live music.”
I smiled upon hearing about the music.
“I thought you’d like that,” he said.
“I do. Very much.”
*****
It was shortly after midnight when we finally walked into the penthouse. Aiden, April and I said our goodnights but Allison, Lia and Bianca were still pretty wired so we left them to their own devices.
I was walking out of the bathroom, dressed for bed. “I know the timing is less than ideal but I think we need to determine what’s happening,” I said.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Between us,” I said.
“Oh, that,” he said.
“Yes ... that,” I replied. “Why do you sound so dismal?”
He sighed. “Because I’m not prepared to say goodbye to you.”
“You’re so sure that’s where this will lead?”
“I know it’s highly probable considering you wouldn’t be here had you not loss your mother.”
“That’s true. But my loss has forced me to think about some things, things I can’t continue running from and I think we should talk about it.”
“I didn’t want to be insensitive so I’ve not said anything but I agree. We should talk. Aria, as much as I want to solidify things with us, I want to be considerate of what you’re going through. Our talk can wait,” he said.
“Thank you Aiden but I’m fine to talk about it now.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m sure. But first, I would like to express my gratitude. You’ve not left my side since all of this happened. You’ve gone over and beyond anticipating my every want and need, hell even things I didn’t know I wanted until you had done it. You stepped in and made everything better. My sisters are crazy about you … well maybe not Bianca,” I added, smiling. “From what they’ve told me, Mom had some type of cougar crush on you.”
“A cougar crush huh?” he asked, amused.
“Yep,” I replied.
“Aria, there’s nothing to thank me for. I’m where I should be, where I want to be, where I hope you’ll allow me to stay.”
I considered his words and I wanted to tell him what he wanted to hear. “You know a little about my relationship issues but I want to give you more insight,” I said.
“Aria, I know all I need to know.”
“That very well may be, but I want to say it.”
“Okay,” he replied.
“I’ve dealt with so much heart ache in the last few months that the part of me that was beginning to open had started to close again. Before losing Mom, I’d started to think that it was for the best because it would help me avoid unnecessary pain,” I said.
“I know I haven’t said it aloud to the depth that you deserve but I hope my actions have spoken for me. I’m deeply sorry for my deceit and for the pain that I’ve caused. I’ve been kicking myself in the ass every day for it. Even when things were going well, I was struggling with telling you everything, but I didn’t want to risk losing you,” he said.
“Part of me is still struggling with that Aiden to be honest – the deceit.”
“I can understand that.”
“And it hurt, more than you realize.”
“Aria I know what –”
“Wait. Let me finish. That hurt allowed me to have something I wouldn’t have had otherwise – time with my mom and I can’t regret that. In the middle of the craziness, there were some very happy times with my family … and with you.”