Touched (The Untouched Trilogy #2)(2)

The ping of an incoming text pulled me from my thoughts. I smiled upon seeing the name of the sender and quickly tapped a reply. I dressed for my workout, grabbed my phone and headed downstairs to the gym. I stopped near the entrance and tapped the control panel in search of a workout playlist. Once the tune of Disclosure’s Latch filled the room, I began stretching as my mind did the thing that had become the norm for me as of late. As much as I wanted to stop thinking about it, the memories continued popping in as often as they wanted. At times I stopped fighting it and just went with it. I convinced myself that the mental replays were an excellent way to retrace my steps; I could hopefully determine each wrong move on my part and keep mental critiques of what I should have done. But in the end, the result was the same.

The last few months had split my world wide open. Blake Meade, RPH’s CEO at the time, had voiced his suspicions that RPH would be under a magnifying glass for a period of time but neither of us suspected that the magnifying glass would be in the form of Aiden Wyatt.

Aiden had appeared at RPH under the guise of an intern. We ultimately learned that Aiden was the son of Connor Raine, the CEO and President of Raine Industries. While I’d been extremely impressed with the abilities Aiden had displayed during his tenure as an intern, after only one meeting with him in his capacity as CEO, I discovered that he was much more of a powerhouse than I’d earlier surmised.

In one swift move, Aiden had relieved Blake of his duties as CEO and presented the position to me. I felt horrible because I knew of it beforehand. I wanted to prepare Blake for his termination but I couldn’t because of Aiden’s forbiddance. I’d decided that I would reach out to Blake as soon as the dust had settled; Aiden couldn’t stop that. I’d contacted Blake after a few days and we’d actually had a great discussion over lunch. He was disappointed, of course, but he was extremely happy for me and stated that if he had to be replaced, he couldn’t have chosen a better successor. He was currently interviewing for an executive position with Little Brown which looked promising and I offered to serve as a reference in any capacity. We didn’t discuss Aiden or Raine Industries although I could see that he had questions.

I stepped onto the treadmill and pressed the button for one of the pre-set workouts. My phone pinged again. My heartbeat quickened as I read it. It was Kellan again. He was coming to Boston and he wanted to see me. We’d started communicating soon after the Aiden debacle; primarily in the form of texts and it was easy; no pressure. I could handle that but an actual visit, I wasn’t quite sure. I was tired of processing; I didn’t want to think about anything more, so I replied telling him that it would be great to see him.

I started with a brisk walk and was soon in the midst of a full run. How amazing would it be if I could actually run from the aftermath of Aiden Raine? The fallout at RPH had been mild all things considered, but the internal explosion I was experiencing was shattering. And what made matters worse, I had no reference point. I didn’t know how to recover from a broken heart. Aiden had been my one and only relationship. I never engaged with men to the degree in which I had with Aiden … a fact that continued to confound me. He possessed a magnetism that I’d never encountered with any other man. It was undeniable and utterly indescribable. I totally lost all sense of rationale when it came to him. Every defense I’d come to rely on had abandoned me. It had felt as though I was doing things against my will but at the same time I greedily savored every second of it. I knew I would never be in the midst of this type of thing and I never gave much thought to it; yet here I was … the blubbering mess I’d despised.

I didn’t expect men to do anything more than what I’d experienced firsthand. Lie and leave. Both behaviors which were modeled by my father. So yes, I have serious trust issues courtesy of dear old Dad. My abhorrence for love and relationships had festered for over a decade so even the slightest of lies caused me to tap into the pain and heartache of my past and that’s exactly what Aiden has done. He’d taken me back to the time when my father left. He’d reminded me that I shouldn’t trust men. Even the most honorable of men can let you down and given the chance, they will. That conviction and the fear of pain had been enough to drive me for years. It was all I needed but even after this poignant and painful reminder from Aiden, I couldn’t stop wanting him and that is the part that was tearing me up inside. I was different; plain and simple. I waited for that resolve to kick back in but every day I woke up thinking of Aiden and every night I went to bed with those same thoughts of him.

I was in a pit of misery. You’d think that my past was the stronghold I needed to make sure I never suffered this fate. My past gave reason for absolute control of my emotions when it came to any relationship, especially with men. I never mixed business with pleasure. I never had boyfriends, I never allowed anyone to get any closer than sex ... but Aiden had changed all of that.

I still wondered if he were really done with me. And if he wasn’t, what did that mean for me? Did I really want to be done with him? I’d questioned his intent in this same way when he’d left RPH under the pretext of a resignation. He’d left me in limbo. Not knowing if it was really over. Fast forward to now … I’d assumed it was over based on our last interaction but that was more of my interpretation than fact. He’d made no attempt to confirm my conclusions. I honestly didn’t know if I wanted the outcome to be any different than what it currently was.