Touch Me Not (Manwhore, #1)(80)

He needed to get laid. One good hard f*ck and he’d forget her. She was just a chick, after all. Same as the rest of them. Same as the other girl he’d thought he loved. She’d been easily forgotten, and so would Lily. His inner demons laughed at him, but he ignored them. Tonight he’d find a girl, take her to one of the rooms, and forget Lily Holmes existed. His eyes scanned the room and zeroed in on the blonde getting a beer. Nikoli appreciated the way her dress clung to her curves and the way her hips rolled suggestively when she moved. Here was a girl meant to be f*cked. With a grin, he stood up and swaggered over to her, his only intent to take her upstairs into one of the rooms and get her naked.

Lily sighed. She’d finally relented to Janet’s constant demands that she come to a party. It was at Nikoli and Luther’s frat house, but she was pretty sure Nikoli wouldn’t be there. He hated these things. He’d rather be in a bar. At least she hoped he wouldn’t be there. She wasn’t sure she was ready to see him yet. It had been almost a month since he told her he didn’t love her. Every time she thought about him, her heart shattered all over again. No one except Adam knew how badly broken she was. She’d learned over the years to hide her pain well. They all thought she was fine about breaking up with Nikoli.

Breaking up. She laughed a little bitterly at the words. They had never been together, not really. It was all just a stupid bargain. A bargain Nikoli had come out of smelling like roses. Lily came out the other end a broken mess—no Adam, no Nikoli, and she didn’t even get the damn car. All she ended up with was a broken heart and the need to cry every five minutes. Which was why she gave in about the party. She needed to stop moping around and wallowing in her own pain. The only way to get past it was to go out and make herself do normal things. Like this party, even if it was Nikoli’s frat house.

Mikey saw her first and rushed over to give her a hug. He grinned from ear to ear when she returned it. “Hey, Lils, you made it.”

“Not like Jan gave me a choice,” she said ruefully. “I don’t think she was going to budge from my room until I came.”

“Well, you know my girl,” Mike said, a smile breaking free. “She’s bossy and always gets her way.”

“Hey!” Jan playfully punched him in the arm and then snuggled up to him.

“There’s my girl.” Adam wrapped an arm around her and hugged her tight. He gave her his one hundred watt smile and dragged her outside to the balcony where it was quiet. One other couple was making out in the corner, so he led her to the opposite end.

“Are you sure you can be here?” he asked. “Nikoli’s here somewhere.”

Lily’s face blanched and her heart twisted. Her flight or fight instincts kicked in, and she wanted to run far, far away.

“I’ll take you home,” Adam said softly.

“No.” She shook her head. As much as she wanted to run, she couldn’t. It was inevitable that she’d see Nikoli, and she’d rather do it here with her friends around her than somewhere else. “Jan will freak out if I leave, and then everyone will think I left because of him. I’m not going to run away like a scared little girl, Adam. That’s not who I am.”

Adam gave her a rueful smile. “I like this new more confident you, but sometimes I wish the old Lily would rear her head up when you’re about to get hurt again for no reason.”

Lily knew what he was referring to. Women loved Nikoli, and she’d heard he’d had women hanging off of him everywhere he went. Tonight would be no different, but she had to suffer through it. Not only for Jan, but for herself. She needed to prove she could get through the pain. That she’d be able to breathe again one day without feeling the burn of the ache scorching her insides.

“You know how much I love you, don’t you?” she asked, giving him another hug. She didn’t know how she’d have gotten through those first days without him. He’d lain with her on Janet’s bathroom floor for two days. They hadn’t said anything, he’d just comforted her. He’d been her best friend, and it had helped more than anything else.

“I love you too, Lily.” He hugged her back, and she made up her mind to talk to him, but she didn’t want him to take it the wrong way.

“Adam, I need to talk to you.” She leaned against the balcony railing. “I’ve wanted to say this for a long time, but I didn’t because I thought you were happy.”

“Have you reconsidered my proposal?” The hope in his eyes hurt. She didn’t want him to hurt like she was hurting.

“No, Adam, it wouldn’t be fair to either of us, and you know it, but I do want to talk to you about Sue.”

He sighed and settled down beside her.

“The only thing I want is for you to be happy, you know that.”

Adam nodded.

“Are you happy, though? The very fact that you were willing to dump her for me says a lot. Are you marrying her because you want to, or because you feel it’s what’s expected of you? Are you going to be happy with her five years from now, ten?”

“I honestly don’t know, Lils,” he said. “The closer the wedding gets, the more nervous and anxious I get. I start to question myself. Sometimes I think she manipulated me into asking her. I felt so pressured.”

“Promise me that before you stand before God and all our family and friends, you’ll think about what you’re doing. Promise me you’ll call this off if it’s not going to make you happy. Please, Adam.”