Touch Me Not (Manwhore, #1)(68)
“So, Kade, you are working on the serial killer case?” she asked so she wouldn’t have to deal with Nikoli. “Do you guys have any leads?”
“I really can’t discuss an ongoing case, Lily,” he said. “I will tell you that we just got here last night and are catching up on everything. We’ll get him. Soon.”
“I hope it’s sooner rather than later.” She shivered. “That last one was too close to campus.”
“Yes,” Kade murmured. “We are asking for the college to allow a police presence there, just in case. Make sure you never go anywhere on your own, always bring someone, walk back to your dorm with a friend. Never alone.”
“I’ll make sure of it,” Nikoli promised.
Kade’s food came, and Lily turned her eyes back to the TV. The news was still talking about the latest victim. If the FBI was here, then the situation was serious. She’d been nervous about the whole situation since she’d seen the first news broadcast over the summer.
She hoped they caught him soon.
***
When Lily returned to her dorm room, she expected to find it empty, but Adam was sitting on her bed, his face troubled. She closed the door and leaned against it. When his eyes met hers, they were dark and thoughtful. The hangover was evident from his wince when the girl in the next room slammed her door.
“You look like hell.” Lily pushed herself away from the door and plopped down in her desk chair.
He ran a hand through his hair. “I feel worse.”
“Getting shit-faced will do that to you.”
He fell back on her bed and started up at the ceiling. “Lily, we need to talk about…well…”
“What you said last night?”
“Yeah.” He still didn’t move. “I know blurting that stuff out at you when I’m drunk wasn’t the best idea.”
“Ya think?”
“I may have been drunk, but I meant every word I said, Lily.”
Lily closed her eyes and counted to ten. A month ago, this conversation would have meant the world to her, but not now. Now, it only meant she had to hurt the one person who had always been there for her through everything.
“Adam, you don’t mean that…”
“Yes, I do.” He sat and looked her in the eye. “I love you, Lils. I’ve loved you my entire life. I just didn’t think you’d ever get better…”
“So you’re only interested in me now that you think I’m getting better?” Anger leaked out of her voice. She couldn’t help it.
“That’s not what I meant.” Adam rolled his shoulders. “I tried, Lily, I tried so hard to help you, but I couldn’t. I don’t understand why Nikoli could, when nothing I did worked. That is what I meant.”
Either way, the outcome was the same. He hadn’t shown any interest until Nikoli. It still stung a bit, but she’d forgiven him somewhere along the way. Didn’t mean she wasn’t pissed he only told her this after Nikoli.
“Adam, I love you. God knows, for the longest time, I thought I was in love with you, but I’ve only recently discovered the difference. You’re my best friend, and you did help me more than you know. Just being there for me, never letting me push you away. That kept me from going off the deep end. You will always be my best friend, and I will always love you, but I’m not in love with you.”
“You love the campus manwhore.” Adam’s eyes dilated, his anger evident in the way his body tensed. “He’s going to break you into little pieces.”
“Then my best friend will be there to put me back together again.” Lily offered him a small smile. She knew it was true. Nikoli was going to hurt her, but she’d take the hurt for the way she felt right now.
“But, Lils, if you’d only listen to what I’m saying, you won’t be broken.” Adam stood and started to pace. “I love you, Lily. We can be so happy together, if you’ll just trust me and let me show you.”
“Adam, what about Sue?”
“What about her?”
“You’re supposed to be getting married in a few weeks. What would that do to her?”
He stopped pacing and sat down on the floor. His face was torn, confused.
“I think you’re only saying all this now because of Nikoli. You love Sue, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Then why would you even consider leaving her?”
“Because I love you!” he shouted, his frustration pouring out. “You’re not listening to me, Lily. I love you more than I could ever love Sue. I want to marry you, have kids with you, and grow old with you. Only you. I’ve always wanted that. You are my heart, Lily. It’s killing me watching you and Nikoli, thinking that should be me with you. Every time I see you two together, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the heart. What can I say to make you understand, Lily? I love you.”
Tears blurred Lily’s vision and she wiped them away. He sounded so broken.
“Why, Lily? Why do you trust him and not me?”
“Because I was afraid, Adam.” Her words were hesitant, uncertain. “I’ve been seeing Rebekha again, twice a week for the last few weeks. We’ve been talking about that. I was afraid that if I let myself touch you, you’d die, just like Daddy. I couldn’t do that. My mind refused to even contemplate it. Nikoli had no ties to me. He was a stranger and I wasn’t afraid of hurting him like I was you.”