Touch Me Not (Manwhore, #1)(64)

“Okay.”

“Thank God,” he whispered. “You remember that summer we went to Myrtle Beach, and I ignored you because I was flirting with what’s-her-name?”

Lily laughed. Yes, she remembered it. It was the summer she realized he didn’t love her like she wanted him to. It wasn’t until he’d started liking other girls she’d understood he didn’t feel that way about her. It used to hurt a lot, but not so much anymore.

“You were so mad at me ’cause I left you out of everything. I didn’t understand why you were so mad until now, until you stopped talking to me. Now I know what it feels like to have your best friend ignore you. I’m so sorry, Lils.”

He must really be drunk to be going down memory lane.

“It’s okay, Adam. Let’s go to sleep, okay? I’m tired.”

“Okay.”

Lily breathed a sigh of relief when he stopped talking. She was damn tired and needed sleep.

“Why are you dating Kincaid?”

“You know why,” she said, groaning. Why? Why tonight? Why did he have to start talking about this when he was drunk and she was dead tired?

“No, not that bullshit reason you told everyone. Why him, Lily?”

“Why not?” she asked.

“Because he is…”

“None of your business,” Lily interrupted before he could start in on Nikoli’s character. Yeah, he might be a manwhore, but he was also a decent person at heart. And she loved him. She still couldn’t figure out how she’d let it happen, but there was the cold truth of it. Scared, she should be scared, but she wasn’t. Even if he broke her heart, and he would, she didn’t regret it. She thought she might once she started to really think about it, but she didn’t. Nikoli had given her more in a few months than anyone else had in her entire life.

“He’s gonna hurt you, Lils,” Adam told her, the slur back in his voice.

“I know,” I whispered.

“Then why?” Adam asked, confused.

“Because I love him,” she replied softly.

“Damn,” Adam cursed. “You’re not serious? He will eat you up and spit you out, Lily.”

“Why do you care, Adam?” she asked, irritated. “Who I do or don’t love isn’t your business.”

Adam sat up and looked at her. His eyes were serious. “I care because I love you, Lily. I’ve always loved you.”

“I love you too, Adam, but this big brother complex has to stop. I can make my own choices, my own mistakes. You don’t have to protect me. I need to live my own life instead of hiding behind you and letting you protect me from anything that can hurt me.”

“No, Lils, you don’t understand. I love you.”

“And I love you too,” she laughed.

“No, dammit,” he growled. “I love you, Lily, not Susan. You.”

Lily’s mouth fell open. Did he just say what she thought he said? He loved her? Like loved loved her? No way. And why did he say it when he was drunk?

“Adam, you’re drunk and not thinking straight,” she said at last. “It’s the booze talking. Go to sleep and you’ll forget all this in the morning.”

“I’m drunk, Lily, but not nearly that drunk,” he said softly. “I know what I’m saying.”

“Adam, you love Sue,” she said, trying desperately to remind him. Why now? Was it just a response to her telling him she was in love with Nikoli?

“Yeah, I do love Sue,” he agreed. “I loved her enough to ask her to marry me.”

“Then why are you saying you love me and not her?” Lily searched his eyes, and she saw a truth there she would have jumped up and down for a few months ago, but not now.

“Because I’m a blind fool,” he said bitterly. “My mom said something to me over the summer when I told her about the engagement. She said I was foolish for not seeing what was right in front of me. I didn’t understand what she meant, but I do now. When I thought I lost you, I went a little nuts. I kept thinking of how much I hurt you and the look on your face when you told me to get out. The thought of losing you, it broke me. I can’t imagine my world without you, Lily.”

Her heart stuttered at the shattered sound of his voice, and a single tear slipped down her cheek. Why couldn’t he have said this even a few weeks ago? She loved him, but she loved Nikoli more.

“You’re the one I want, Lily, the one I want to marry, to have kids with, the one I want to grow old with. Just you.”

“Adam…”

“Please, Lily, tell me you love me, that you’ll marry me, please.”

Her heart broke. She saw the truth of what he was saying in his face, heard it in his voice. Drunk he might be, but he was being honest with her, maybe because he was drunk. It might have given him the courage he needed to tell her all this. Liquid courage, Mike called it. He’d heard the expression in some old western his dad had made him watch. It fit.

“I…”

“Don’t say anything now,” he interrupted her. “Just think about it, okay?”

“You might wake up and regret all this in the morning,” she told him.

“No, Lily, I only regret it took an ass like Kincaid to make me realize how much I love you and how badly I hurt you. Just promise to think about it, please? Just think about you and me and everything we’ve shared, about all we could share in the future? That’s all I’m asking, to just think about it.”