Toe the Line(26)

When Heidi called to tell me she was making arrangements to fly out at the end of the month, I knew I had to break the news as gently as possible.

“Hey, so I was thinking…” I said. “It’s probably better if you don’t come. Things aren’t great with my parents. And the house is a bit crowded.”

That was partly true.

“Are you serious?” She sounded pissed.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t think it’s a good idea anymore.”

“I don’t even know what to say. I was really looking forward to it.” She paused. “Have you been seeing someone there? Is that what this is about?”

“Do you really want to know? I thought we agreed not to talk about that stuff.”

“You know what? Forget I called. Forget the whole thing, Archie.”

“Look, I’m really—”

She hung up on me. Wow. I’d expected her to be mad, but I didn’t think she’d react that badly. I probably deserved it, though.

“Who was supposed to come?”

I turned to find Noelle standing at the entrance to my room. She’d overheard. I couldn’t lie to her, even if this made me look like an asshole.

“That was…Heidi.”

“Heidi?”

“Yeah. She’s a friend from school.”

“A friend, huh? She was supposed to stay with us?”

“She’s someone I was seeing this past semester,” I admitted. “Before I left, I stupidly mentioned that if she wanted to come hang out for a week, that’d be cool. But I’ve thought better of it since. It doesn’t seem like the right decision anymore.”

Noelle pursed her lips, looking like she had something to say.

I let out a nervous laugh. “You have thoughts. I can tell.”

“Nothing.” She plopped down on my bed. “I just don’t know how you do it.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Do what?”

“Manage it all—a side piece here, a girl waiting in the wings back in California.”

“They’re not my girlfriends.”

“I know. But it’s still…work. Isn’t it?”

“You are so judging me right now, Benedict.”

“I’m not.” She chuckled. “I swear. It’s just curiosity.”

She had me pegged as a gigolo. “You want to know the truth?”

“What?”

“I didn’t want her to come because lately I’ve really liked just hanging out with you. If she came, she’d disrupt that.”

She proceeded to blow off my answer. “Yeah, right.”

My eyes met hers. “I’m serious, Noelle.” What the fuck are you doing? I needed to backtrack because it was starting to sound like I was insinuating something. Am I? “It’s, like, no pressure when I’m with you. I don’t have to worry about what I say, what I look like…what I smell like.”

Her tone was bitter. “No one to impress. I get it.”

“That’s not what I meant. I just mean I’m comfortable. And I’m loving this summer because of it. I don’t want anything messing with that. Heidi would’ve definitely disturbed the peace.”

Her expression softened. “I like hanging out with you, too. If you’d told me that before I came here, I wouldn’t have believed it.”

“Not sure if that’s a compliment or not.”

“It is.” Her cheeks turned pink.

That reaction reminded me that I needed to be careful. If Noelle started to catch feelings, I was going to be in trouble. I didn’t want to ruin what I had with her. So I created a distraction by bringing up the most depressing subject I could think of. I’d been talking a lot about it with Noelle lately, so it wasn’t totally out of left field.

“My mother’s getting worse.”

Her eyes widened. “Did something happen?”

“Just more of the same.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what to do. It’s hard when I know soon I’m not gonna be around her every day. Some days I think maybe I should take some time off from school, but I know she wouldn’t let me do that. It would stress her out even more.”

Noelle expelled a long breath. “I want to say something to make you feel better right now, but I’m a firm believer that you shouldn’t say things just to say them when you don’t know shit about what it’s like to be in someone’s shoes. I’d like to tell you everything’s going to be fine. I just don’t know.”

“I appreciate that. I don’t need smoke blown up my ass.”

She placed her hand on my arm. “I can’t promise you that everything’s gonna turn out perfectly. But I promise you can always call me if you need to talk.”

When she removed her hand, I was quite aware of how much I’d enjoyed her touch. I cleared my throat. “I can’t believe how fast this summer is flying by. I’m not ready to leave.”

“Neither am I.”

“Who knows what it’s gonna be like next summer—if we’ll even be here, depending on how Mom’s doing.”

Noelle frowned. “I couldn’t imagine not getting to spend the summer with you all again.”