Through My Window (Hidalgos #1)(53)
“But our bodies do.”
I’m about to fall, but I remember how cold he was after he took my virginity, and then how he sent his maid to throw me out of his room the second time we were together. I want him with all my soul, but my heart won’t be able to take another hit, I know it won’t.
I can’t. I will no longer fall.
I know he doesn’t expect any sudden movements, so I take advantage, and with my body I push him away, using all my strength to free my wrists. Ares looks surprised; his neck is red, and his breathing is agitated.
He tries to approach me again, and I raise my hand. “No.”
He frowns. It’s the first time I’ve ever turned him down, and the bewilderment is obvious in his expression. “Why not?”
“I don’t want to. I’m not going to fall, not this time.”
He runs his hand through his hair. “You think too much. You talk too much. Come here.”
He reaches out his hand toward me, but I slap it away before he can touch me. “No, if you think I’m always going to be available to you when you feel like it, you’re wrong. I’m not going to be your plaything of the moment.”
He looks surprised, as if he is truly hurt by my words. “Why do you always think so badly of me?”
“Because that’s all you show me. I’ve already cut you out of my life, Ares. So, leave me alone.”
He gives me his stupid smirk. “Cut me out of your life? That’s not something you do in a few weeks, Raquel.”
“But I’m starting to do it, and I’ll get there.”
“I’m not going to let you do it.”
I growl in frustration. “This is what I hate about you! You don’t take me seriously, but you don’t let me go either. Why? Do you enjoy playing with my feelings?”
“Of course not.”
“So?”
“I don’t understand why you blame me for everything. You knew what you were getting into; I was clear with you,” Ares says.
“Don’t change the subject! Yes, I knew what I was getting into, but I don’t want any more of this. I want you out of my life, but you won’t let me move on.” My chest rises and falls with my rapid breathing. “Why, Ares? Why won’t you leave me alone?”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
I watch him hesitate about what to say, he twists his lips hesitantly.
I let out a sad laugh. “You’re not saying anything because you don’t have a motive. You just don’t want to lose your fun of the month.”
“Stop saying that! I don’t see you that way!”
“In what way?” I challenge.
Silence again. That doubtful expression.
“You know this conversation is getting us nowhere. Open the door,” I say, but he doesn’t move. “Open the damn door, Ares!”
He remains still, so I glare toward the window. “Okay, I’ll jump out the window.”
When I pass by him, his voice is barely a whisper. “I need you.”
I stop dead in my tracks with my back to him. Those three words are enough to paralyze me.
Ares takes my hand, turning me toward him. His eyes search mine. “Just listen to me. I’m not good with words, I can’t say . . . I can’t say it or explain it, but I can show you how I feel about you.” He squeezes my hand. “Let me show you. I’m not trying to use you, I swear. I just want to show you.” He puts my hand on his chest. His heart is beating as fast as mine.
He brings his face closer to mine slowly, giving me enough time to reject him, but when I don’t, his warm lips find mine.
TWENTY-EIGHT
The Change
I am lost.
The second his lips meet mine a current of emotions electrifies my whole body, and I realize that it’s hopeless. I am madly in love with Ares Hidalgo.
What started as a crush ended up turning into feelings so strong that I can’t handle them. He destabilizes me, he makes me lose control, he awakens sensations in me that I never thought I would feel. And that makes me feel so exposed, what I feel for him makes me vulnerable, easy to hurt . . . and it scares me so much.
His lips move softly over mine. I put my hands around his neck, pulling him closer to me, and his bare chest collides with mine. Even though I have his shirt on, I can feel the heat emanating from his skin. He intensifies the kiss, quickening his mouth on mine, leaving me breathless. God, he kisses so well.
Our movements cause his towel to come untied from his waist, and I don’t complain. I feel how hard he is against my bare thigh as he pulls my skirt up. Ares traces his fingers down the back of my thigh, caressing it gently, and when he reaches my waist, he squeezes it with desire.
He breaks away for a second, his eyes fixed on mine.
“I want you so bad, Raquel.”
And I love you, I think. But I don’t say it, I just caress his face.
He kisses me again and this time the rhythm is wild, rough, relentless, those passionate kisses that I remember so well and that drive me crazy. I walk backward until the back of my knees hit the bed and I fall with him on top of me. My hands go up to his hair and I cling to him as my body begins to burn. He leaves my mouth again to move down to leave kisses and nibbles on my neck. That’s my weak spot. I arch against him, letting out a sigh. His hand slips inside my shirt and his fingers move over my breasts, squeezing and caressing them, driving me to madness. Gasping, I let out a moan as his hand explores under my skirt. I have no underwear on—the contact is direct.