Through My Window (Hidalgos #1)(49)

“Yoshi . . .”

Yoshi just mumbles. “What are you doing, Rochi?”

“What do you think?” I try to move seductively toward the bed, but I stagger so much that I have to hold on to the wall.

Yoshi lifts his hand to wag his finger back and forth. “No, Rochi, you’re drunk, not like that.”

“You’re drunk, too, you fool.”

I focus on trying to pull my shirt off over my head, but it doesn’t go past my neck before I get tangled up, crash into the wall, and fall. I get up as fast as I can, still wobbly. “I’m fine!”

The only response is a loud snore. I give Yoshi a death glare, lowering my shirt back into place.

“Are you serious?” I growl in frustration and pinch his leg. “Yoshi? Come on, wake up! Yoshi!”

Frustrated, I leave the room and lean against the door. I see a light at the end of the hall—no, I’m not dead—and I head toward it. I hear all sorts of sounds as I walk down that hall that I do my best to ignore. I stop in front of a white-framed door with square panels of glass, and I open it because that’s where the light is coming from.

It’s a balcony, and it’s empty.

Or so I think. I close the door behind me, and I can see someone leaning on the balcony railing to my right, cigarette smoke rising above him. I can only see his back, but I know it’s him, and my heart knows it too and beats like the masochistic idiot it is.

Ares.

I don’t move, my mouth is dry, my tongue feels heavy, but I think that’s from the alcohol. He looks over his shoulder at me and doesn’t seem surprised to see me. In fact, there’s no expression on his face, the same as a few hours ago. I don’t know why, after thinking about him all night and looking for him constantly, that now that I have him a few steps away from me, I want to run away.

Ares hasn’t looked at me fully, and yet he still manages to make both my heart race and my breathing pick up. The tension on the balcony is too much for me. Like a coward, I turn toward the door again, but, before I can touch its knob, he moves in quick steps and blocks my way.

I always forget how tall he is, how beautiful and perfect every inch of his face is, and the intensity of his eyes. I look down, backing away, but Ares moves with me, forcing me backward until my back hits the balcony railing.

“Running away?” His voice is cold and makes me shiver.

“No.” I shake my head, and I get a little dizzy.

I keep my eyes on his chest. Not even the courage that alcohol gives me is enough to face him. The smell of his cologne hits my nose, and I struggle not to close my eyes and inhale exaggeratedly.

I missed his smell, his presence, and his ability to make me feel everything without even touching me.

“Look at me,” he orders, but I refuse. “Look at me, Raquel.”

Reluctantly, I obey. His eyes sparkle in the moonlight. Unwillingly, my gaze drops to his lips, and I notice that his piercing is missing.

“I-I have to go,” I try to step aside to pass him, but he puts both hands on the railing, locking me in.

“What are you doing up here?” he presses me. “Did you come looking for me?”

“Of course not, the world doesn’t revolve around you.”

He gives me that stupid smirk that I love and hate. “Not the world. But you do.”

His arrogant statement annoys me, and I push him, but he doesn’t move. “Get out of the way!” I push him again without any success.

“Why? Do I make you nervous?”

I look away, faking disinterest. “Of course not.”

“Then why are you shaking?” I don’t know what to say, so I just look away. “You’re shaking and I haven’t even touched you. Don’t worry, I won’t either.”

Why? I almost ask out loud, but I don’t say it. He’s out of my life. I have to keep my word this time.

Silence stretches between us, and I dare to look up again. His expression is as impassive as ever. How does he manage to feel nothing? How does he manage to hold me so close and not show a single emotion? While I shudder, struggling to keep my feelings in check, he is so normal, so calm. So why won’t he let me go if he doesn’t care about me? Why is he blocking my way?

And then a tide of emotions sweeps over me. Ares has hurt me a lot, but he doesn’t seem to want to leave my life either. I might be a game to him or whatever else, but I’m tired of going around in circles, expecting something from him that he’ll never give me. He’s not interested in being with me. He hasn’t fought me any of the times I told him I wanted him out of my life.

The memory of that day in his playroom comes to my mind. His impatient face, waiting for me to leave. His hand offering me the phone as if in payment for my services.

Squeezing my hands, I push his chest once. “Let me go! Get off!” He moves to the side, and I move away from him. I stagger in the direction of the balcony door, my stomach twisting.

No, not now, don’t puke now, Raquel. This is not the time.

I get so dizzy that I grab a metal chair next to the door. And I half fall, half sit on it. Cold sweat runs down my forehead. “I don’t feel very well.”

Ares appears at my side in a second. “What did you expect? You drank too much.”

I don’t know how he understands my babbling. “How do you know I drank too much?”