Thoughtful (Thoughtless, #1.5)(42)
Even as I laughed at Griffin’s joke, my insides felt like ash. Kiera would be home alone now, and for probably most of the night. I wouldn’t get another chance to spend an evening with her alone for…well, it would feel like forever. I couldn’t not go out with the guys tonight though.
Making myself smile, I told Griffin, “I know this place where they make everyone wear insulting hats and the staff abuses you all night long.”
Griffin jumped off the couch. “Fuck yeah, let’s do that! Like, what do they do to you though?” Turning around, he bent over the couch and stuck his ass in the air. “Will they spank me if I’m naughty?”
Matt pointed a finger at his cousin. “There is no way in hell I’m going anywhere where he might get spanked.” Shrugging, he added, “Can we just go to Pete’s?”
Holding in a sigh, I shrugged. “It’s your night. Pete’s it is.” Why couldn’t Kiera be working tonight? Maybe I’d call her once we got there and invite her over. I hopped in my car feeling a little irritated but willing to let it go. It wasn’t like I didn’t see Kiera all the time. But…I was all too aware that I was missing out on time alone with her, and I had this horrible feeling that our time together was fleeting.
I tried to sneak off to the back to make a phone call when I got to Pete’s, but Griffin walked in the door with me. Grabbing my arm, he immediately pulled me to the bar. Slamming his hand down on the counter, he announced, “Round of J?ger for the band, Reets. We’re getting f*cked up tonight!”
Rita smirked at Griffin’s nickname for her, then leaned in to kiss my cheek. Without looking like I was pulling away from her, I moved out of reach. She sighed at the near miss. “Anything for my favorite rock stars.” She pursed her lips like she was kissing me in her mind. “Mm, mm, mm,” she muttered as she started pouring shots.
Griffin raised his drink in the air when they were all passed out. Loud enough for the entire bar to hear, he exclaimed, “To my cousin, who finally grew pubes this year, and is hoping to touch a naked woman for the first time…Happy birthday!”
The entire bar was laughing. Evan and I were laughing too while Griffin downed his shot alone. Afterward, he stuck his tongue out, making a face, while Matt gave him a blank stare. “I really f*cking hate you,” he said dispassionately to Griffin.
Griffin stole his drink and downed it too. “I know,” he said with a smirk when he was done. Then he grabbed Matt by the neck and gave him a noogie.
Matt eventually started laughing as he tried to get away, and just like that, the two constantly fighting cousins were best friends. Shaking my head at the pair of them, I handed Matt my shot. He gladly slung it back. Evan took his, then we set our glasses on the bar, where they were immediately refilled.
It was ages before I was finally able to slip away. I headed to the bathroom hallway and found the pay phone in the back. No one really used it anymore, and it was a little dusty when I picked up the handset. I found some change in my pocket and dialed home, but it just rang and rang. The machine didn’t even pick up, which I thought was a little odd; Kiera was obsessed with making sure it was on and ready to record any calls from Denny that she might have missed.
All I could come up with was that Kiera had gone to bed. I’d missed her. An almost overwhelming sadness filled me, but I threw on a smile for my band’s sake. I didn’t want them asking questions when I returned to the table.
By the time the evening wrapped up, it was late. I’d stopped drinking a while ago so I could drive home, but I still felt a little off when I shut my car off in the driveway. I smiled when I noticed Denny’s Honda beside my car. Kiera was home and safe in bed. I loved knowing she was here, sleeping only a few feet away from me…as soon as I could get my slow ass through the door. Maybe some water would help clear my head. Yeah. Water would be good.
Intent on hydration, I made a beeline for the kitchen when I got into the house. I tossed my keys on the counter, then came to a standstill when I realized I wasn’t alone. Kiera was still up, dressed in her pajamas…and she was clearly upset. Her eyes were bloodshot, her face a little puffy, and she was downing a glass of wine like it was juice. Something was very, very wrong. My heart sped up in anticipation.
“Hey,” I said, trying to sound casual.
She didn’t answer me, just kept drinking her wine. I could tell from the empty bottle on the counter that she was almost at the end of her supply. There was only one thing that would make her this distraught…
“You okay?” I asked, already knowing she wasn’t.
She paused in her drink to answer me. “No.” I thought she’d leave it at that, but she surprised me by adding, “Denny isn’t coming back…we’re done.”
A multitude of emotions washed over me at the same time: compassion, grief…joy…and guilt. I walked over to her, eager to wrap my arms around her and tell her I was here for her, that I’d never leave her, but it was obvious she was trying to suppress her pain. Hearing how much I cared about her probably wouldn’t help her right now; I needed to let her grieve first. Instead of touching her, I leaned back against the counter. I even rested my hands behind me so I wouldn’t be tempted.
Not knowing what to do for her, I watched her studying me for a minute. Then, hoping she’d say no, because I really didn’t want to discuss her feelings about Denny, I asked, “You want to talk about it?”