Thoughtful (Thoughtless, #1.5)(160)

My words, my fingers, made her moan. Grabbing my face, she made me look at her again. “I love you, Kellan.”

Her words softened my face, my voice, my heart, and my soul. “I love you too, Kiera.” So much. “I will make you so happy.” You won’t regret leaving him for me. I promise.

Biting her lip, desire in her eyes, she started tugging off my boxers. “Yes, I know you will.”

I knew what she meant by the look in her eye and the throatiness to her voice. While that wasn’t exactly what I’d meant by my promise, it worked too. In every way possible, I would make her very happy.





Chapter 30





How to Hurt Someone




Covering myself more completely with my blankets, I smiled in the stillness of the dark. She chose me. She was mine.

I had a girlfriend.

I’d never had a real one before…I liked how it felt. I reached over to give her a hug, but the other side of the bed was empty. I sat up with a frown, then looked over at the clock. It was morning…Kiera had slipped out sometime last night and was probably with Denny. Bile started filling my mouth. We needed to tell him it was over.

I fell back to my pillows with a thud. Fuck. He was going to be devastated.

With a sigh, I got out of bed and started my morning exercises. Kiera and I would come up with a way to let him know things had changed. I’d even let him continue to stay here, if he wanted, although…I didn’t see how he’d be able to stomach that.

When I got downstairs, I started the coffee and waited for Kiera. She joined me before the pot was completely done brewing. She was incredibly alluring in her pajamas, and the smile on her lips was breathtaking. “Morn—”

Her mouth was on mine before I could even finish greeting her. I loved how eager she was. “I missed you,” she muttered.

“I missed you too. I hated waking up with you gone,” I whispered back.

We spent several moments kissing. There was so much passion and intensity between us, you would think we hadn’t seen each other in weeks. She brought that out of me though. Desire and love, as bottomless as a black hole and as tangled as untamed vines. I tried to ignore the fact that both of those comparisons were potentially disastrous.

Recalling that Kiera and I had something important to discuss, I gently pushed her away from me. Needing space to resist the draw of her lips, I took a step toward the table. “We should talk about Denny, Kiera…”

Just then, Denny stepped into the kitchen. “What about me?” he asked in a gruff voice.

Jesus f*cking-H Christ. My heart leaped into my throat, but years of schooling my expression let me hold on to my composure. If he’d walked in ten seconds earlier…

Racking my brain for a reasonable response, I popped out the first lie that sounded like it could be the truth. “I was just asking Kiera if you would be interested in hangin’ with me and the guys today. There’s this thing at EMP—”

Denny cut me off. “No, we’ll stay here.” I risked a glance at Kiera. She was staring at me like I’d just told Denny I’d grown wings last night and flown around the city.

I didn’t miss the way Denny had stressed “we’ll.” Kiera’s not going anywhere with you. Got it? “Okay…come by if you change your mind. We’ll be there all day.”

Tension built up in the room, and I considered telling the truth. But Kiera and I hadn’t had a chance to talk about the best way to do it yet. We were a team now; we should come at this with a united front. Not that that would matter much to Denny. In fact, maybe I should let Kiera handle this on her own. He might take it better from her. If I was there, he would just get angry. Yes, Kiera should tell him first, and then I would talk to him.

When the awkwardness got to be too much, I told them both, “I’d better go…pick up the guys.” I gave Kiera a meaningful glance when Denny’s back was to me: Please talk to him. Her face was forlorn, and I knew she wasn’t looking forward to this. Me either.

The house was silent as I gathered my things and left. Too silent. I wished Kiera well, kicked myself for not having the guts to make a stand with her, then headed to Evan’s.

He wasn’t surprised when he cracked open his door, but he did seem irritated. “I should just give you a key. Then I wouldn’t have to get up every time you need to run away from something.”

I was pretty sure I knew why he was mad. “I’m sorry I was a dick last night.”

Evan leaned on his door frame, not letting me in. “Dick doesn’t really cover it. I was thinking more along the lines of…self-absorbed diva.”

That brought a small smile to my lips. “Yeah…maybe…but I really am sorry. I was out of line, and I shouldn’t have said what I did. It’s not my band. It’s our band. You and I formed it together, and we wouldn’t be where we are now without you.”

Evan lifted an eyebrow, clearly waiting for more.

“And I’m a self-absorbed diva, an *, a dog of a human being, and unworthy of any sort of praise, kudos, acclaim, or love.” I shut my mouth with a snap. I hadn’t meant to go that far with my apology. I was just freaking out about what was going on at home without me. I should be there. I should turn around and go home…

Frowning, Evan shoved his door open. “That shit’s not true, Kell. Well, yeah, you’re an * sometimes, but you’re not…unworthy of anything.” At the moment, I wasn’t sure if I agreed.