The Wrong Gentleman(63)

“Yes,” Avery replied.

“Well, the owner, the one I’d been surveilling, was arrested in his hotel the day he walked off the Sapphire. For gunrunning. It’s been in the press now. He was planning to sell weapons to a splinter group of the Islamic State.”

“Jeez, Landon. Are you kidding?” Hayden asked. “You said it was a low-level thing.”

“Well my involvement was,” I replied.

“Are we talking about the owner of the yacht Skylar and August were on? Didn’t Skylar go to dinner with that guy a couple of times?”

I nodded. “He wanted her as a cover—to join him at dinners with various people that he shouldn’t have been meeting with.”

“And you just let her go?” Avery asked.

“They only had dinner twice,” I replied. The last thing I could be accused of was not worrying about Skylar’s safety. “The second time was on the boat. The first time . . . Well, I was there outside the restaurant.”

The corners of Avery’s mouth twitched. “You followed them?”

“What? I was there taking pictures of suspected terrorists.”

Hayden raised his eyebrows. “Sounds like there was a little more to it than that.”

“At the time, it was all about the job, but believe me, I made sure that Skylar avoided being put in any real danger.” They didn’t need to know how close to danger Skylar had come, and how I’d put the operation on the line before putting her into the line of fire.

“Look, Landon, I know you’re a bigger man-whore than your brother used to be—”

“Hey, less man-whore accusations, please,” Hayden called from where he was collecting the food.

“Have you thought that maybe Skylar’s the kind of woman who’s changed things for you?”

Avery wasn’t suggesting anything I hadn’t spent the past month thinking about. “There’s no doubt she was different.”

I took a seat at the table and poured out the wine into three glasses.

“Isn’t she worth fighting for?” Avery pressed.

“You just want your best friend and my brother to date so we can hang out more,” Hayden said. “That’s not a good reason for two people to be together.”

“It’s not just that,” Avery replied. “I know Skylar. She doesn’t talk about her past easily. Certainly not to a man. And I’ve never known her to be dating or even sleeping with someone.”

Avery wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t already know. Skylar had trusted me with her story. With her body. With the real her.

“I know you were meant to be a summer fling or something,” Avery continued. “But I’ve never even known her to do something like that. She’s always so set on finding the perfect guy.”

Avery clearly hadn’t figured out that Skylar’s criteria were a cover so she never had to date. She’d knowingly put barriers in place between her and a relationship. And I’d made it worse.

“From what I can make out, what the two of you had together was as real as it’s ever gotten for her,” Avery said.

“It was real.” I’d spent the last month trying to pretend to myself that it had just been sex. Or circumstance. But being here with Hayden and Avery—with family—I was done bullshitting myself. There was no point. Hayden always saw straight through me. “But that doesn’t mean it was meant to last. I had a reason to lie to her, and she had a reason to be pissed off about it. Sometimes you just reach an impasse.”

“Yeah, with a colleague. Or a neighbor. Not someone you love,” Hayden said.

My heart thumped. “No one’s talking love. I said it was real. That’s all.” I might be done bullshitting but talking about love was a step too far.

“Real love,” Avery said. “I saw it as soon as the two of you appeared at dinner. The way she looked at you? I’ve never seen her like that. And the way you touched her? Ran after her? Landon, you’re lying to yourself if you’re pretending you don’t love her.”

“Avery,” I said, my tone like gathering thunderclouds.

“I care about you,” she continued. “You’re family. And I know that you don’t open up to people.”

I took a sip of my wine—I didn’t want to listen to what she had to say. I wanted to be done with this conversation. Thinking about Skylar was futile. The damage had been done.

“I don’t want you to lose something important just because you’re too stubborn to see what’s right in front of you.”

“This isn’t about me being stubborn. It’s about who I am. It’s about choices I made, and I’d make them again.” I’d driven her away. I’d done it to keep her safe, and I couldn’t take it back, and I couldn’t regret it.

“Isn’t it worth having a conversation and at least telling her how you feel?”

I had no right to think she’d forgive me for encouraging her to leave the Sapphire. For the things I’d said, for the lies I told. “She thinks I betrayed her. I can’t be the man she wants.”

“How do you know unless you explain?” Avery sighed. “You should also mention how you’re a bit crap at communicating.”

“Thanks, Avery. Helpful.” I caught my brother’s eye and he just shook his head. “I don’t think she’d even listen.” She’d looked so devastated as she’d climbed into the cab. I didn’t want to be responsible for hurting her any further.