The Wrong Gentleman(61)

The end of the Med season had come around quickly. I never thought I’d be in Ohio when it did.

I dumped my bag, pulled out the food, and stuffed it into the tiny refrigerator that was noisier than it had a right to be given its size. “I’m sure you’re coping just fine. And it’s great that Captain gave you the chief stew position. You deserved it, and it means next season you’ll have a track record, and you’ll be leading your own team.”

August groaned on the other end of the line. “Are you heading to Florida next week?”

“I’m not sure.”

“I was going to suggest we find a place together.”

I smiled. The chance to see a familiar face in a familiar place sounded tempting, but yachting didn’t feel like the right fit anymore. “I’m not sure I’m going to do next season.”

“Really? You enjoying being back home?”

I took a seat on the bed and glanced around. “It’s not that.” There was nothing about this place to make me stay—no friends, no family, no opportunities. But I didn’t want to go somewhere else just to escape Ohio. I’d done that before. The next time I left it would be because I was heading toward something. “I think that yachting is over for me. It’s been good. I’ve earned a lot of money—”

“But it’s not where your future lies?”

“Exactly.”

“Any thoughts about what you want to do?” she asked.

“A few. Except they all require a college degree. And that’s a lot of money.” There was only one thing I’d ever wanted to be—a lawyer.

“But you have savings, right? And you can work part-time.”

I’d already figured out that with my savings and a job I could make it work, but there were a thousand other reasons why I hadn’t applied anywhere. Landon had opened my eyes to the possibility, but his betrayal meant that I was questioning everything about our time together.

“But it’s four years out of my life. And then grad school.”

“Yeah, but college is fun. It’s not like you’re having to withstand four years of waterboarding. You can enjoy the journey not just the destination.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting to get waterboarded. It’s just a big time commitment.”

“But not in the scheme of the next forty years.”

“I guess. But then there’s no guarantee of a job at the end of it.”

“Might as well give up then,” August said. “Come back to yachting, bury your dreams, and come clean toilets with me.”

I laughed. August always had the most charming way of calling people out on their bullshit.

“There are no guarantees in life, Skylar. You, more than anyone, should know that. Go to college. Try it at least.”

“Maybe I will,” I said. August was right in a way. I didn’t have a lot to lose. I could always go back to yachting if I changed my mind about college.

I took a deep breath. Landon had betrayed my trust, there was no doubt about that. He’d hidden what he did for a living from me, made me believe he was someone he wasn’t, and I’d stupidly thought that what we had together was special. It was all lies. But being with him had made me realize that I was done running away. That I wanted something more than just a paycheck, and I couldn’t shut those feelings down. I didn’t want to.

I pulled out one of the study guides from the pile. I should really open one of these things. Just to see if I was even capable of passing an entrance exam.

“So now your future career is set, have you thought much about . . . you know . . . other things? And when I say other things, you get I mean Landon, right?”

“Nope,” I replied. I’d thought of little else but Landon. The betrayal and disappointment he’d caused drifted into the misery of being back in Ohio, and it all hovered around me as if I were walking around in a big, dull cloud.

“These army guys aren’t very emotionally evolved.”

“How are you and Harvey doing?” I asked, taking the chance to distract August.

She sighed. “Things are fading out. We don’t see each other much, and we’re both so busy.”

“I’m sorry. I thought it was all good between you.”

“Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t as if we were some great love affair that ended in disaster.”

“That’s yachting for you,” I said.

“But not for you,” she replied.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you and Landon were different. Worth fighting for.”

“That’s not true. We were—” I remembered him telling me how we were never going to grow old together. “Only for a summer.”

“I don’t believe that for a second. He’s worn a gloomy expression since you left and never leaves his room unless he’s on shift. And given that you fled the continent as soon as you split and haven’t been answering your phone? It doesn’t seem like it was just a summer fling.”

Was Landon gloomy? Over me? Sounded unlikely. He wanted me to quit, so I didn’t make a fuss. He didn’t try to talk me out of it.

“Have you heard from him at all?” she asked.

“Of course not. Why would I have?” I hadn’t even hoped he’d call. I’d wanted to be as far away from him as possible. I’d invited lies back into my world when I thought I’d successfully banished them forever.