The Wrong Gentleman(68)

“Even before I joined the military.” There were few signs that anyone had checked into the room. My toothbrush was in the bathroom but everything else was put away out of sight. “But you’re a neat guest, too, I seem to remember.” That first night in her hotel room had told me a lot about Skylar, but I could never have predicted I’d end up here, needing her like oxygen. “Take a seat. Can I get you a drink?”

She shook her head and took a seat on one of the two beds. “I’m good.” She drew in a breath. “Thank you for giving me these few days.”

My gut churned. That sounded ominous. She didn’t look like a woman who was about to tell me she was ready to take a chance on a guy like me. “Skylar, I want to give you everything you need.”

Her smile was reticent and unsure.

“I know it’s difficult to believe,” I continued. “And I’m not suggesting I’m perfect; I’m just saying give us, give me a—”

She held up her palm, and I stopped talking. Last-minute speeches were over.

“I’ve lived the last ten years determined not to repeat my mother’s mistakes,” she said. “I didn’t want to waste my life on a man who promised me things that he couldn’t give me or told me he loved me but showed me something different.”

I winced, hating myself for not being able to take away the pain she so clearly felt.

I wanted to tell her how it would be different with me. How I would never treat her like that, but I held back. She came here to talk, and I wanted to hear it.

“The last few days, I’ve realized something. A few things, actually. I’ll never get over what happened to my mother. Never get over finding her and then being told that it was my father who had killed her. It will stay with me my whole life.” She paused. “But I realized that I’m not supposed to get over something like that. So there’s no point in running anymore.” Her voice wobbled, and I wanted so badly to reach out, touch her, comfort her, make it better, but I resisted.

“My need to survive, a desperate drive to put a roof over my head and food in my stomach was really the only thing that mattered to me for a long time. Until you.”

I searched her face. What was she saying?

“I’ll never be my mother. I’ve already had a different life. I’ve learned the lessons of my past. I’m a better judge of character. I’m not as weak. And despite the fact that you hurt me, I think I’m in love with you.”

I tried to steady my breathing. It was no good. My self-control was shot. I stood. “What did you say?”

“For the first time in my life, I’m in love. With you.”

It was as if I couldn’t get oxygen into my lungs quick enough. I cupped her face, then pulled her up to stand. “I know that feeling. I love you so much that the thought of being away from you is terrifying. I’d rather take a bullet.”

She slid her hand over my shoulder, hooking her thumb underneath my t-shirt and stroking it over my scar. “No more bullets.”

“Does that mean you’ll come to London with me?”

Her eyes welled with tears, and for a second I thought she was going to say no, but she nodded. “I’ve never been.”

I wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her, desperate to get my fill of Skylar. She was coming to London. I hadn’t lost her. “I thought you might tell me no,” I said, setting her back on her feet.

“This is early days, Landon. There are no guarantees. Neither of us are good at following our feelings. I just know that you coming here . . . It means a lot that you’re prepared to fight for me.”

“I can guarantee you that I’m going to do my best to be the man you need.” I wanted to be everything for Skylar.

She bit down on her bottom lip. “I just want you to be you.”

I nodded. “I know. And I’m going to do that. And if I get it wrong then you can bollock me, but it won’t be because I don’t want to get it right or because I haven’t tried.”

She grinned at me. “This,” she said. “This I believe. And it’s why I’m here.”

“Because you can bollock me?”

“No. Because of your lack of bullshit. Because even when you’re not telling the truth, you’re still a good man. You’re you.”

I pressed my lips against hers, overcome with the need to be closer to her. I shivered as she ran her fingers through my hair then clasped them around my neck.

Relief turned to lust as I became acutely aware of her body pressed against mine. God, how I’d missed this. Just being near her, her honeysuckle scent filling the air and her skin against my fingertips. I never wanted to let her go.

“I’ve missed you,” she said, pulling away from my kiss, her fingers trickling around my neck and down to my chest.

“I’m sweaty.” I should never have gone running. I should have stayed in to wait—perfectly clean and groomed and ready for her.

“I like it.”

I grinned. “You do, hey?”

“I think maybe you need to get me a little sweaty so we’re even.”

“I can manage that.” I pulled her shirt over her head, holding back a gasp at the sight of her breasts pushing over the top of her white bra. I threaded my fingers into the lace, desperate to feel her, then pulled her nipple between my finger and thumb.