The True Cowboy of Sunset Ridge (Gold Valley #14)(69)

Mallory and the melody she’d brought back to his soul.

“Yes,” he said. “I’ll adopt her.”

Cheyenne’s face crumpled, for just a moment. Then she took a breath. “That would’ve made him really happy.” She nodded. “He would have trusted you. To take care of her.”

“Sure. Glad I can help in some way.”

“That’s more than just... Helping,” she said.

“It’s helping me too,” he said.

“There’s like... Legal stuff we’ll have to do, right? I have to... Sign things.”

“I’ll contact a lawyer,” Colt said. “I think that’s the way to go. Can you make sure that I have all your contact information?”

She pulled a scrap piece of paper out of the car and started to write on it. Then she shoved it into his hand, careful not to make any physical contact with Lily.

“I don’t know what else to do,” Cheyenne said, looking lost for a moment.

“Cheyenne,” he said. “You’re sure this is what you want?”

“I don’t want any of this. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t ask for him to die. I didn’t ask to be left by myself. I didn’t ask my brain to get so messed up. None of it is what I want. If I had what I wanted then I would have the family that I dreamed of. But I can’t ever get there... I can never get there if I can’t get out of this. I’m just going to end up being a bitter, angry person the same way that my mother was, and I don’t want to do that. I can’t do it. I don’t ever want her to grow up feeling like she’s responsible for the bad things I feel. And I just wish that my mom had been brave enough to let someone else take care of me if she didn’t want to do it. I wish my dad had been brave enough to make the decision, instead of coming in and out all the time. Trent doesn’t get to make a choice—nobody asked him. He’s just dead. But I can. If you’ll love her...”

“I already do,” he said, the words scraping his throat raw.

And Cheyenne burst into tears. He didn’t know what the hell to do. But fortunately, Mallory moved. She wrapped her arms around the woman’s fragile frame, and she held her while she cried. They both leaned against the car, and Mallory stroked her hair.

And he was undone by it. Witnessing this. This broken, battered love that came from a place of just doing its best.

And it made him feel like an ass. For spending all these years not doing it. Not connecting with the people around him because why? Because he didn’t feel worthy? What Cheyenne was doing was hard. Giving up this baby, taking on all the guilt that came with that, all the judgment that would result. Going through the work to make that choice. Love didn’t look one way. And love didn’t need to be worthy, really. And this unworthy love was something that cut deep. And that mattered.

It mattered a hell of a lot.

So he was going to take all the imperfect love inside of him and give it to Lily. He was going to honor this. Even if it was hard. Even if he didn’t feel up to it in some ways. He could take care of her. He wouldn’t resent her.

She was giving him something that he needed.

Something he hadn’t even known he’d been desperate for. And it was the damnedest thing. Because all of this—from meeting Mallory for the first time—to this moment, felt like something that was written in the stars. Stars that he’d never been able to see. Inscribed on pieces of himself he didn’t know how to reach. But he wanted to.

He wanted to.

“Are you going to be okay?” Mallory asked. “Do you want to... Do you need a place to stay?”

She shook her head. “No. I’ve got a place. And I can make it back before too long. I’ll just get a coffee.”

“We want you to be safe,” Colt said.

“I promise I will be. I mean... I feel better. It hurts. But I know this is the right thing to do. I’ve had all this time to think about it. And I can finally... See the way forward. And I just don’t think that either of us would make it if it wasn’t like this. And that’s what I want. More than anything. I just want us both to make it.”

“You’ll do more than make it,” Mallory said. “Someday. Someday you’ll realize that. That you’re going to do more than just survive this. You’re going to live.”

After that, Cheyenne got in her car, and she drove away. And he was left standing there with... His daughter. Because he was going to be a father. He was going to be her father. He already was. That was the crazy thing.

He knew it.

Deep in his bones.

That this was something meant to be. That this was fate on some level. Even though there had been a whole lot of terrible to get here. He was certain in this moment. In this one thing and it had been over eighteen years since he’d been certain about a damn thing, and it was like... It was like a revelation. Like the sky had opened up and poured stars down on him. And he didn’t have another way to explain it.

“Colt...”

“I need a minute,” he said.

He swallowed hard and carried Lily back inside. Walked upstairs and went into his room. He closed the door behind him and settled in the rocking chair that he’d moved into the place. And he sat there, and he looked down at this child. This child that he was going to raise.

This child he was going to call his own.