The Stand-In Boyfriend (Grove Valley High #1)(67)

“The second this stops benefiting me, I’ll let you know.”

“We can’t do what we did on Saturday night again. It’s too confusing.”

“Why?”

I’m startled at his question. “What…what do you mean?”

“Why is it confusing?”

Because it makes me want to never stop kissing you and I don’t want to feel like that. I don’t want to think like that when Jessie is the one I want. “You know why.”

“Tell me.”

I sigh. I can’t tell him, and no matter what he says, I won’t. “Chase, please. Look, let’s just agree to leave it.”

He sighs, his fists clenching in frustration, and I feel guilty all over again. This is why we need to stop. We’re not able to keep things separate, and it’s not good for either of us.

“Chase—”

“Look, Jessie is still your goal, right?”

I tilt my head. I don’t understand why he’s doing this, why he’s pushing like this, why he won’t take the easy option that lets us both off the hook.

“Livy.” His voice is hard and he’s focused back on me. “Jessie is still your goal, right?”

I nod, because he is, even with Chase and me blurring the lines between us. When Jessie smiles at me, that’s all I see, even in a room full of people. I still want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. Chase doesn’t react for a moment, instead staring at the wall across from him, clearly deciding something in his head. Eventually he turns to me with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, his stance determined.

“Then see it through, Liv. Let’s see if we can make it happen.”

He makes it sound so simple.

“Chase—”

“Honestly, I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

He’s just brushed over all my issues like they’re nothing, and I feel silly for assuming he was struggling with the physical side of things too, like his emotions were getting confused. I really don’t know what to think about him anymore. “I just think it’s best if we stop.”

“Livy, come on.”

It’s on my lips to ask him why he’s being so stubborn about this but I don’t. I don’t because I’m scared he’ll tell me something I don’t want to hear that will blow everything apart.

“Let’s just try a couple more weeks and see if we can get what you want. Then we break up. We could even make it really public and have a massive fight in the cafeteria.”

I can’t help the smile playing on my lips. That sounds like my worst nightmare, having all those people staring at me, but I’m genuinely starting to think he should try out for the school play.

“What do you say, Liv?”

My eyes meet his. He’s trying to look casual leaning up against the counter like he is, but his shoulders are tense. He’s clearly not ready to give this up.

“No more bitching at Jessie?”

He nods. “No more bitching at Jessie.”

“Just two more weeks okay?” I really don’t think my emotions can take any longer than that with this fake relationship. “It’s his birthday in a couple of weeks. If it hasn’t happened by then, we forget it. Deal?”

“So we’re back on?”

I sigh and nod my head. I guess we are. At this stage, I’ve got nothing to lose.





DESPITE US WINNING THE CHAMPIONSHIP, we still have a couple more weeks of casual soccer practice with the intention of keeping our fitness up for those of us playing college soccer, but we train half the amount we used to and I feel like I have a ton of extra time, despite the extra shifts I pick up at the bakery. Florida State got in touch and I officially accepted a scholarship from them, so I can finally start looking forward to next year, can finally start thinking about the end of high school—even though we’ve got months to go—and what will come after.

Sophie, Jessie, and I have decided to take a road trip this summer no matter what. We’re going to get in Jessie’s car and just drive, head down south and take in as much as we can. I’m looking forward to it more than anyone could possibly believe, but I’m starting to get nervous too. Jessie still hasn’t decided where he’s going to college but chances are it’s out of state, and Sophie will be miles away. I hate the thought of them not being close and it’s already filling me with a sense of anxiety, but I refuse to let it consume me. College will be a big adventure, one I’m lucky to get to experience, and Chase is also going to Florida State (it has one of the best soccer programs in the country) so I know I won’t be completely alone.

We’ve started eating lunch together too, just the three of us again. Despite Sophie now being back with Mark, he doesn’t come near us during lunchtime, and I told Chase he should eat with his friends too. I have a feeling Jessie told Courtney something similar because she gave me the filthiest look the first time she walked past our table and she definitely always has her eye on us, but she’s gone back to sitting with her friends. I think she might be the only person in the school who isn’t convinced by my relationship with Chase. She still looks at me suspiciously.

“Five days, guys,” Jessie says as he greets us on Monday morning.