The Stand-In Boyfriend (Grove Valley High #1)(66)

“You can put up with me a bit longer, right?”

I’ve actually spent the last day thinking about how much I’ll miss hanging out with Chase when we stop this whole thing. Not speaking to him today was weird enough, but I really don’t think we should carry on with this. I don’t want to be getting jealous if he’s talking to a girl. It’s ridiculous. Jessie is the one I want, and Chase being all nice and gorgeous around me all the time is really starting to mess with my head.

“This is getting complicated. We shouldn’t be fighting.”

“We won’t fight again.”

I sigh thinking about how best to word this. Our fighting isn’t the only thing that’s been bothering me. “I heard you had a college girl hitting on you.”

He screws his face up in confusion.

“At your house, the night before my game.”

“Rosie’s friend?” I nod. He laughs. “Who told you that?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I tell him. “But if some gorgeous girl is hitting on you, I don’t want you to have to say no because of me. It’s not fair. I feel like I’m the only one getting something out of this anymore. I don’t want to step on your toes. You should just be single and do what you want.”

His eyes pierce mine, and for some reason, my heart is in my throat. It’s my idea to end things between us, but that doesn’t mean it’s not going to hurt, doesn’t mean I won’t miss him.

“Rosie’s friend is a brunette.”

Huh?

“And you know I prefer blondes.”

I start to laugh, shaking my head as he grins back at me. There’s silence between us for a moment while he waits for me to make a decision, to tell him if I’m still in or not, and my fingers automatically start twisting together.

His eyes are on my hands in a second. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”

I shrug my shoulders and shove my hands behind my back. It’s weird how well he can read me after such a short amount of time.

He raises an eyebrow questioningly and even though he has no clue what I’m thinking, I can feel my face burning as I blush.

“Livy?” I still don’t say anything. “Livy, come on. Talk to me. You know you can tell me anything.”

My mind returns to Saturday night, to us in the kitchen…me hooking my legs around him, kissing him, letting my hands wander over his body. It’s the furthest I’ve ever gone with a boy—by a long shot—and honestly? The way he was making me feel, if he’d been less of a gentleman and asked me to disappear to his room with him, I’m not sure I would have said no. We wouldn’t have had sex—I know I’m definitely still not ready for that—but I didn’t want his hands off me. I wanted more of that feeling he gave me, and that thought terrifies me.

“Livy?” His voice is gentle. “What’s bothering you?”

“We went too far,” I burst out. My face is on fire. I finally look at him. “At your house, on Saturday, when we were in the kitchen—we went too far.”

Horror flashes across his face and he takes a step toward me before halting. “Do you…did you feel…” He’s tripping over his words he’s so anxious to get them out. “Do you think I pushed you into that?”

“No,” I shoot back immediately, feeling terrible that he’s interpreted it that way. “No, not at all. I was into it.” That’s the problem. I was too into it.

He hesitates. “So what was the problem then?”

I throw my hands up, at a loss for words. I really wish he would just get it. I do not want to have to spell this out for him.

“Because I was into it too, Livy. I was right there with you.”

His words do nothing to cool down my face. “We shouldn’t be doing that,” I mutter. “That was more than just a kiss to make Jessie jealous. He wasn’t even there.” Neither was Abigail, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to kiss him under the pretense that they’d hear about it. “Look, I know you’ve done that and more a million times before and it means nothing to you but I haven’t, okay? I’ve never gone so far with a boy and I shouldn’t be doing that with you when we’re faking it. It’s not right. If someone’s kissing me like that I want him to do it because he wants to, not because of some stupid agreement.”

He stares back at me, processing my words. I bite my lip, waiting for his response. He knows I’m right. He must see that I’m right about this. After what feels like a lifetime he takes a deep breath, his eyes pinning me still. “Livy, there’s nothing fak—”

“We need to stop this, Chase,” I interrupt, stopping him before he says something I don’t want to hear. Things are starting to change between us; I can feel it and I don’t like it. “We need to end this so you can go back to hanging with girls who don’t freak out over a make-out session and you stop turning down hot college girls for me. It’s not fair to either of us.”

He turns away from me, leaning his back against the counter. “I don’t feel like this is unfair to me.”

“I just think—”

“Livy, I’m telling you I’m still in if you are.”

“But it’s not benefitting you anymore and it’s not fair.”