The Secret of Ella and Micha(37)

I point at the shut door at the end of the hall. "I thought I heard him come in late last night and go into his room."

"He did, but he got up this morning." He leans against the doorframe and crosses his arms. "I heard him stumbling around in that bathroom and crying all night, but now I can't find him and I didn't hear him leave. His work called the house, saying he didn't show up, so he's not there."

My fists clench so that my nails dig into my palms. "Did you check in the bathroom?"

Dean's eyes travel down the hall to the bathroom door and he shakes his head. "I haven't and I don't want to."

"Hi, I'm Lila," she introduces herself and offers her hand. "You must be Ella's brother, Dean."

Dean is vaguely amused and shakes her hand. "Yeah... how do you know Ella?"

"I was her roommate," she responds, pressing her hand to her chest, faking being offended. "Didn't she ever mention me?"

"We don't talk that much." I eye the bathroom door again and my stomach twists. "We need to find Dad."

"I'm not looking in that bathroom, Ella, but if you want to, go ahead."

With legs flimsier than wet noodles, I walk down the dark hallway and stop in front of the door, having a flashback of the day my mom died. The door was closed and the house was soundless, except for the running of water. My hands tremble as I open the door.

The room is bare, the tub empty, and the tile floor is clean, except for a small stain. There are no towels on the hooks and the mirror on the wall across from me shows my reflection. My auburn hair is curled perfectly in place, my lips are lined with gloss, and my green eyes are immense and reveal everything.

"Dad isn't in here," I tell him, unable to look away from the mirror. "Are you sure you didn't hear him leave the house?"

"He could have left and I just didn't hear him," he answers. "But when has he ever left the house quietly before?"

I quickly slam the bathroom door, like I'm trying to put out a fire, and race back down the hall. "Someone needs to find him. Did you try and call him?"

"Of course. I'm not a moron." He rolls his eyes and nods. "And he didn't answer."

Lila shifts her weight and forces the uncomfortable conversation elsewhere. "So you play the drums, Dean?"

He motions to his drum set in the middle of his small room with dark blue walls. The floor and bed are cluttered with boxes and the curtain is pulled back, letting the sunlight spill in. "I used to, but I don't much anymore. I have work and a fiance."

"Fiance?" Lila and I say simultaneously.

"Yeah, as in we're engaged." Dean rolls his eyes and goes back into his room. "It's what happens when two people date for a really long time."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, following him into his room.

He picks up a small box and drops it onto the floor. "Do you really care that I am?"

I carefully nudge the box out of the way with my foot. "You're my brother. Of course I care."

"But it's not like we've ever really gotten along," he points out. "I haven't even talked to you for a year. God, I didn't even know you went to college until a week ago."

He's right, which is sad. I barely know him, he barely knows me, and I'm starting to think I barely know me, too.

"Does Dad know you're engaged?" I ask. "Were you at least planning on telling him?"

"Even if I told him, he'd just forget the next day." He empties a dresser drawer into a large open box and then aligns the drawer back into place. "You know how he is. Christ, I don't even think half the time he knows that you and I don't live here anymore."

"He still deserves to be told," I say. "He's not a bad guy and you know it. He just has problems."

"Problems that f*cked up our childhood." He kicks a box out of the way with force and it crashes into the wall. "You do realize that how we grew up wasn't normal. God, even Micha had it easier and his dad bailed out on him, but at least he had a stable mom to take care of him."

"Umm..." Lila pokes her head in the room. "I think I'm going to wait outside for you, Ella."

God, I'd forgotten she was even there and she just heard all of that.

"Okay, I'll be down in a second," I tell her and she leaves readily. I wander around Dean's room, taking in the photos he has up. "I think we may have just scared her to death."

Dean picks up his drumsticks and places them into a large duffel bag. "Okay, I have to ask. How did you end up being friends with her?"

"She was my roommate and we just sort of bonded." I shrug, picking up a photo of Dean and his friends on a sunny beach. It was taken during his Senior Field Trip and he looks happy.

"You bonded," he accuses. "The girl looks like a spoiled princess."

I eye his preppy clothes. "So do you."

"First off, I'm not a princess and I've earned what I have," he says. "It wasn't just handed to me."

"Maybe she did, too."

"Did she?"

I hate to give him the benefit of being right. "No, her parents are pretty well off."