The Randy Romance Novelist(50)
“I’m just glad we’ve been able to get together. I hate that we don’t get to see each other at work right now.”
“Me too, but I’m not going to lie, I enjoy working from home, except that I have to take care of Sir Licks-a-Lot. I can’t sleep naked anymore because I wake up in the middle of the night to him hovering over me, batting at my nipple as if it were his own personal boxing bag.”
“Such a sick cat. I don’t know why Gladys loves him so much. I’ve never seen the appeal.”
I leaned closer to Jenny as I spoke. “And to make things worse, one time I woke up horny from it. I was so confused that night, not quite sure how to react.”
“What did you do?” Jenny giggled.
“I sat up in bed for a second, wondering if I should wake up Henry to take care of it, but I couldn’t fathom the idea of the foreplay being with Sir Licks-a-Lot, so I went back to sleep all wound up.”
“Completely understandable. I think that was a smart move on your part. You don’t want to give that stupid cat any satisfaction over his nipple play.”
“That’s how I saw it as well.” I took a sip of my water bottle, I was trying to flush out all the toxins in my body; I read that it helped you lose weight. “Have you heard anything about moving back into the building?”
“Nothing. Gladys only emails me back after she’s read an article. I think she’s lost her mind, kind of gone postal since they took away all the cats. I think she’s trying to look for a building that will allow us to run a cat commune.”
“She will never find that in New York City, maybe upstate in the country somewhere.”
“Don’t even joke about that,” Jenny warned. “I’m not all that excited about writing about painting your cat’s nails, but I don’t want to lose my job because she decided to move the company location upstate.”
“Might be fun to live out of the city,” I replied, thinking of one day living in the suburbs.
“Yeah, you can say that because you’re in a relationship with a sexy man who wears tailored suits that rival David Beckham’s. You can live away from the love mecca; me, on the other hand, I’m still trying to look for a man who doesn’t want to test the weight of my nipples on the first date.” Before I could say anything, Jenny said, “Don’t ask.”
“Fair enough.” I sighed, thinking about Henry. “He really is sexy in suits and even better naked. I have a question . . . have you ever felt like you couldn’t get enough of the person you were with . . . sexually?”
“Oh, yeah, I’ve had those moments.” The tension building up in me eased a bit from Jenny’s admission. Maybe this feeling was normal after all. “Especially when you’re with someone like Henry. I remember I dated this guy back in college, he had abs for days, I swear I was straddling him every chance I got. Why? Have you been sexing it up a lot?”
I could feel the heat overtake my face from embarrassment. Would I ever feel normal talking about sex with other people?
“Yeah, but I’m glad it’s normal.”
“It is, don’t worry about it. So, tell me, is he good?”
“I’m not going to answer that,” I responded with a wink.
Jenny clapped her hands and laughed. “I knew he would be, even though he drives me crazy, I could tell he was good in bed. I think all men who wear tailored suits like that are good in bed. If they are confident enough to have their slacks plastered to their ass, then they have to be good at driving the bologna pony.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Rosie Bloom?” the receptionist called. “We are ready for you.”
“That’s me.” I stuck my arm up in the air like a nerd. We followed her past a curtain and into a big room with a stage that reminded me of a scene from Magic Mike. “Have you ever been to one of these?” I asked Jenny, feeling out of place. Stripper auditions weren’t my thing. Then again, were they anyone’s thing?
Yes, they were Delaney’s thing. Damn her.
“No, I’ve never been to an audition, but I have been to a bachelorette party where there were strippers. I snapped a man’s G-string that night.”
“Charming,” I smiled and followed the lady to the seats we were supposed to sit in.
The room was dark, deep shades of blue were woven into the seats, and bright lights surrounded the stage. I was grateful it didn’t smell, which was a weird thing to say, but after the porn booths at the sex shop, I had to keep my guard up. Plus, I wasn’t sure what kind of establishment I was going to be visiting to test out strippers. Delaney did say this was the best company for hiring male strippers, but that still warranted a cautionary sniff when arriving.
“According to the appointment paperwork you filled out, you are looking for a man with a . . .” The lady lifted the paper on her clipboard and read verbatim what was written, “A man with a giant cock, a twelve pack of abs, no hair, and decent-sized nipples. Is that correct?”
I was sweating; literally, sweat was dripping down my back. I just wrote down what Delaney demanded; I didn’t know the lady was going to read it back to me. I was mortified.
“Um, that’s what the bride-to-be wanted.”
“Are you the bride-to-be?” the lady asked me, giving me a narrowed look.