The Randy Romance Novelist(37)
She was silent as she let my words sink in. I was nervous that I might have been too harsh on her. Tears started to stream down her face, and I mentally kicked myself in the crotch for my outburst. She was already on edge, I didn’t have to lose my cool in front of her, especially after what she saw.
I ran my hand through my hair and broke the silence between us. “Listen, love. I’m sorry—”
She held up her hand to stop me, and her tear-streaked face met mine. “You hurt me, Henry. You hurt me the day I found Tasha in your room with you, and that feeling has weighed heavily on me ever since. Seeing her on you tonight, it brought back all those horrible emotions of self-doubt and not being good enough for you.”
I didn’t think I could feel like any bigger of an ass.
“I’m sorry, Rosie. If I could take back anything, I would take back the way I reacted after we made love for the first time.”
“Made love?” Rosie asked, a lift to the side of her lips.
“Yes, made love. Rosie, I was so madly in love with you, all I wanted to do was hold you in my arms and keep you there forever after the first time, but the first moment you could, you checked your voicemail. It was a huge blow to my ego and my heart. I reacted in a shitty way, brushed you off, and tried to work you out of my system. Was it smart? No. Was I being human? Yes. We all react to situations differently. A bigger and less prideful man would have talked to you about his feelings, but it felt like I had been trying to tell you how I felt for so long, but you weren’t interested. All those nights when we hung out while you were on your mission to lose your virginity, those nights were precious to me; I tried to hint at the fact that I was the man you were looking for, but you never picked up on it. After you listened to your voicemail, I guess I just gave up. I assumed you wanted nothing to do with me, so I tried to move on.”
“Oh,” was all she said as her hands twisted in her lap. “I guess I never thought about it that way.”
“I’m not trying to come up with excuses, love. What I did was wrong, I didn’t handle my emotions well, and I hurt you even more. I will always hate myself for that, but what you saw tonight was not even close to what I can only imagine you’re thinking.”
Defensive, Rosie stepped up again and said, “And what am I exactly thinking?”
It was so hot and cold with this woman lately. I wish I had some kind of indication as to why.
I let out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know, probably something insane like I’ve been banging her behind your back.” I threw my hands up in the air in annoyance.
“Are you?” Her eyebrow rose in question.
“No!” I yelled. “Christ, Rosie, when would I even have time to bang someone else? When I’m not on my computer working my ass off in the office, I’m here with you, my dick most likely in your hands. You’re all I ever want.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me about her working with you?”
Good point.
“I was afraid you would get upset and it would start a fight. Guess I was right.”
“Did you think I wasn’t going to find out?”
“Honestly, I never expected you to show up at my office late at night in nothing but a trench coat.”
“How do you know I don’t have anything underneath this?” I could see her face light up. Was this one of her many sexual games, fight and then have makeup sex? Right about now, I had no f*cking clue what was going through her mind.
I pointed at the opening of the coat. “I can almost see the pink of your nipple.”
She gasped and closed the lapels together. “How dare you.” She got up from the bed, walked around to my side, and slowly started to move to the bathroom, but walked incredibly slow; I wondered if she wanted me to grab her. She looked over her shoulder at me and a small smile peeked past her lips.
Mother f*cker! She was roleplaying this whole time. This woman would be the death of me.
Playing along, I grabbed her arm and pulled her down on the bed. “Don’t walk away from me; I’m still talking to you.”
“I’m mad at you.”
“Are you really?” I grabbed the belt to her trench coat and undid it so the jacket was forced to fall open. In seconds, her beautiful breasts were on display, as well as a very thin white thong that barely covered her.
In awe, I ran my hand over my face. “You’re so beautiful, Rosie. How could you even think you’re not enough for me? You’re more than I could ever ask for.”
Her hand gripped my cheek and her face rang sincere. “I will always think you’re too good for me, Henry, always.”
That, right there, ripped me apart. Instead of discussing, I decided to show her how we were the perfect match for one another.
“Get up,” I demanded.
“What?” she asked, a little shocked from my tone.
“I said, get up,” my voice was still harsh, but I added a wink to let her know I was falling in line with her roleplaying. Recently, she read me a sex scene from one of her books where the hero bent her over the bed for obvious reasons. She kept telling me how hot it was over and over again, so I decided to make her little dreams come true.
“Oh,” she quickly said, while getting up, hiding the smile that wanted to break through her sad fa?ade.
The moment she was up, I made her step out of her thong, because one time she made me tear it off like in the books she read. I ended up yanking so hard on the damn thing to make it come off that I gave her crack burn and bruising. I told her never again.