The Randy Romance Novelist(29)
“Yeah, pretty much. I have to work late tomorrow,” was all he said before he changed the subject. “So, how about we go to the sex shop first and then grab a slice of pizza to eat on the way home? That work for my girl?”
“Sounds good to me,” I smiled up at him, trying to not show my disappointment in his evasiveness.
On the way to the sex shop, we held hands and talked about what Henry had planned for Derk’s bachelor party. Derk wanted to keep it low-key, nothing fancy, just his guys, some pizza, and poker. I asked Henry if he planned on getting a stripper, and he said Derk didn’t care for one, but he was adamant about having some nice cigars.
“Clearly, Derk isn’t as high maintenance as Delaney,” I laughed.
“Not so much. I’m a little upset about it.”
“Why? Do you want a stripper at the party? Do you want boobies in your face?”
Henry laughed and shook his head, then drew my hand up to his lips and gently kissed me. “Why would I need boobies in my face when yours practically live there?”
“They don’t live there,” I scoffed.
“Okay,” he replied sarcastically. “I’m upset about the bachelor party because I was hoping to make some boobie cupcakes, you know how I love baking and all.”
“You’re such a liar.”
“I am,” he laughed. “But, seriously, I kind of wish I got to take him out to our old stomping grounds, reminisce a bit. In all honesty, I think he’s keeping it low-key so Delaney can go out, that way, when she gets home, he will be ready to take care of her.”
“Makes sense. They could do their parties on different nights,” I suggested.
“They could, but Derk doesn’t seem interested. I would do the same thing for you, you know.”
A tiny little flutter burned up my spine. Henry was talking about our bachelor/bachelorette parties, which only meant he considered marrying me. The mere thought of marrying Henry almost seemed impossible.
“You’ve thought about that?” I asked.
A small piece of regret flashed through his face before he put on a giant smile. “Don’t you?”
His question sounded slightly insecure, as if he was nervous about my answer.
“I mean, I guess so.” I didn’t want to throw all my crazy girl feelings at him all in one shot. Have I ever thought about marrying Henry? Well, not really, since I always considered him my friend, and ever since we’ve become a couple, I hadn’t really thought about anything other than sex with him. Did that make me a bad person?
I maybe had minor notions of what it might be like to settle down with Henry—not that I was a giant hussy walking the streets, looking for a pimp to hook me up. I was just too nervous to even think of such a thing as marriage with Henry, because I was still very confused by the fact that he was mine.
I was insecure, very, very insecure. Ever since I’d known Henry, he’d been a ladies’ man; he could get any girl he wanted. During college, when I was in the library studying, he was out partying. He would bring home a new girl almost every night, while I was still trying to figure out how to use my vagina to the best of my abilities. I never really thought my handsome, sexy, and preppy best friend would end up with the likes of me; the nerdy, inexperienced bookworm.
I guess I was just waiting for something to happen, something like Henry waking up and realizing he was too good for me.
“What are you thinking about over there?” Henry asked.
“Nothing,” I lied.
Knowing me too well, he stopped our walk and made me face him. “There is a crinkle between your eyes; you’re worrying about something. What is it? And don’t lie to me, or else I will make you go in one of the jiz booths at the adult store.”
“Jiz booths?” I asked. “What are those?”
“Don’t try to change the subject. What’s going on, love?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Sometimes it just seems too good to be true. You’re too good to be true. I’m waiting for something to happen. For someone to come along and steal you away from me.”
Henry lifted my chin so I had to look directly into his sweet and caring eyes. “Are you insane?” He laughed and then pulled me into a hug. “Rosie, you’re everything to me, f*cking everything. We are meant to be together. I promise you that. Now stop having crazy thoughts; you’re stuck with me, love. Whether you like it or not. Got it?”
“Yeah,” I answered, feeling all gooey on the inside.
“Let’s get going. I’m starving, and we still have to go shopping for penis paraphernalia. Do you even know what you’re getting?”
We continued our walk down the sidewalk, passing honking taxis, people on their cell phones, and cute shops that I made mental notes to take a look at later. “Not really. I have my checklist. I guess I’m just supposed to get anything with a penis on it. Should be a good time.”
“Yeah, real good time,” Henry said sarcastically.
Chapter Seven
Penis Emporium
ROSIE
It smelled weird, like really weird. Like rotten cheese on a recently washed down sidewalk kind of weird.
When we first walked into the sex shop, I was a little excited to see what might be in stock, given my newfound enjoyment of the male form, but the minute I sniffed in the musty, humid air of the place, I wanted to leave immediately.