The Randy Romance Novelist(27)
Feeling a little excited now, I walked to the back of the shop, where there were a handful of women sitting around a table, drinking coffee, and gabbing away. They were all older than me . . . like way older than me. Youngest member must have been at least ten years my senior. Not quite what I was expecting, but still a nice treat to be able to meet some other authors.
“Um, hello. Are you part of the SoHo Romance Writer’s club?” I asked, instantly feeling shy again.
A heavyset woman with a nest of white hair stood up from her chair and held out her hand. “That would be us. You must be Rosie. I’m Sally. We spoke through email.”
“Hi, Sally.” I shook her hand, which was quite clammy, and then looked around the table. With a small wave, I said, “Hi, everyone. Thanks for having me.”
“Please, take a seat,” a woman to Sally’s right said. “I’m Myrtle, the vice president of the group. To my right is Betty, our secretary. On Sally’s right is Sue and then Wendy.”
Sue and Wendy both waved at me and said hello. Sue was wearing a paisley scarf over a mauve turtleneck and big pearl earrings. Wendy was sporting a fleece wolf patterned jacket and a bolo tie. She looked very out of place.
“Nice to meet you all.”
“We were just talking about the new tends within the romance community. Have you noticed any?” Sally asked me.
“Um, trends? I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about; I’m still new at this. I joined a couple of Facebook groups for book lovers . . . they post a lot of penis pictures. Would that be a trend?”
“That’s not a trend, that’s a staple in this community,” Myrtle laughed.
Betty spoke up over the other ladies’ chatter. “A trend would be something you see authors do often within their stories.”
“For instance, everyone’s hero has a beard right now,” Sally stated. “Full, thick beards.”
“There was also a lot of step-brother love last year,” Sue said.
“Step-brother love?” I asked, not having ever read a book about a step-brother.
“Oh, yes, very popular. Hmm, billionaires are always popular with the ladies. I mean, who doesn’t like a rich man being brought down to his knees by a woman?”
Wendy fanned her face, causing a ripple within her wolf fleece. “I sure enjoy a good billionaire.”
“Remember when you used to be able to slap a half-naked cowboy on the front of your book and sell thousands of copies?” Myrtle asked. “I miss the good old cowboy.”
“I’ve read some cowboy books,” I said, joining in. “They were really good. I always liked the scenes where the heroine is whisked off to the barn to have a roll in the hay.”
All the ladies giggled around me, making me feel at home. “Everyone loves a good barn sex scene. I believe I’ve written at least ten in my day,” Sally said. “I rode that trend out for as long as I could. Maybe in the future I will revisit the stables. Maybe a BDSM version, since that’s all the rage now. Think of the rope possibilities.”
“Oh, Christian Grey gone cowboy, I like it,” Myrtle replied. “Instead of a tie on the cover, a lasso and a spur. I think you have yourself an idea there, Sally.”
“And none of you biddies better steal it. You hear me?” Sally pointed her finger at all of us. I nodded, fearing her sharp nail stabbing me in the jugular.
“Tell us, Rosie, what are you working on?” Betty asked me, drawing the attention away from Sally’s death finger.
I cleared my throat, trying to relax my nerves. “Well, I started writing a book that took place in medieval times, but realized I wasn’t really good with chastity belts, so I tried writing something from the heart. It’s kind of an ode to my current relationship.”
“How sweet,” Sally replied. “Did you bring some pages for us to read?”
“I did,” I nodded, pulling out my folder from my purse, making sure my penis pictures didn’t pop out for everyone to see. Although, I was pretty sure these ladies wouldn’t even blink twice if a giant sparkly dildo fell out of my purse. I handed each of them a copy of the pages I’d printed out and waited as they took their time to read them. “Um, I think I’m going to get a drink while you read.”
No one acknowledged me. They just read, so I got out of my seat and headed to the self-serve coffee in the corner. While my cup filled, I looked over my shoulder to see what their reactions were, but couldn’t get an accurate read, so I finished filling my cup, added cream and sugar, and then headed back to the table.
By the time I was back, they were all done. They sat in silence and watched me while I took my seat. No one had actually read my written word before besides myself, so I was truly terrified to hear what they had to say.
I set my coffee cup on the table and waited for their assessment.
“Is this your first book?” Sally started out.
“It is,” I replied, trying to calm my shaking legs.
They nodded their heads before Myrtle said, “I could tell.”
My heart dropped to the floor.
“It seemed very childish in nature. The main character, from what I could gather, sounded very na?ve in the fact that she didn’t know simple sexual terms. She’s a virgin?”
I nodded, not able to speak from the lump forming in my throat.