The Magnolia Chronicles: Adventures in Modern Dating(55)

Ben: That's special.

Magnolia: Yeah. I had a variety of opinions about it at the time but now I know it was a good way to grow up.

Ben: Okay, tell the truth. The accountant brother is the boring one, right?

Magnolia: I wouldn't say boring. He has different interests and priorities. Just like me and Linden, he's focused on his work and believes in what he does. Even if he takes himself a bit seriously.

Ben: Hey. Listen. I have to pass on the game. I'm not going to be good company tonight. Give my regrets to my boy Gronk, would you?

Magnolia: I'll tell him.

Ben: We'll connect after my next few shifts, okay?

Magnolia: Take care of yourself, Brock.





*



Rob: I read an article about some kind of gypsy moth invasion hitting the region. Does that sort of thing impact your work?

Magnolia: Um, yeah. Somewhat.

Rob: Is this an interesting topic for you?

Magnolia: lol, interesting? It's probably as interesting to me as rumors of a recession are to you.

Rob: Fuck, no, we're not discussing this.

Magnolia: It's bad enough to keep it in the back of your mind, right?

Rob: Totally. It's dangerous to even put those thoughts into consciousness.

Rob: I read an article about a new breed of hydrangea bushes. Is that safer?

Magnolia: Where the hell are you getting your news?

Rob: So, that's a NO on the hydrangea conversation?

Magnolia: Good effort, Russo. I'll give you credit for that.





*



Magnolia: How did you get that scar on your cheek?

Ben: Flew over the handlebars of my bike when I was 9. The bike pedal clipped my face in the wreck. Fucked me up real good. Broke my eye socket.

Magnolia: Eek. That sounds awful. I'm sorry.

Ben: No sweat. It was almost 30 years ago.

Magnolia: But you remember it vividly.

Ben: Like it was yesterday.

Ben: I guess some shit sticks with you, huh?

Magnolia: It does.





*



Ben: You're one of the most competent people I know so I figure you might have an answer for this.

Magnolia: Competent. That's a high bar.

Ben: It's a compliment.

Magnolia: Yes. As only you can deliver them.

Magnolia: How can I help you?

Ben: Do you know a lawyer who does wills and estates? Because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing and I feel like I'm going to vomit every time I try to figure it out by myself.

Magnolia: I know a lawyer but she specializes in real estate. I'm sure she can give me some referrals.

Ben: Thank you.

Magnolia: Anytime.

Ben: Why do you do that? Why do you help?

Magnolia: Why not?

Ben: Because people are terrible and they'll fuck you over.

Magnolia: No matter what happens, I won't fuck you over.

Ben: Why not? You could.

Magnolia: Because I won't. Because I don't want to do that to you, to anyone. Because I've been fucked over and I won't repeat that.

Ben: You should be obnoxious with all your Helpful Hannah bullshit. You're just fucking precious instead.

Magnolia: …thanks?

Ben: Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm angry and I'm dumping it on you.

Magnolia: I know.

Ben: I am sorry.

Magnolia: I know that too.





*



Magnolia: I have a question with two parts.

Rob: Yes and yes.

Magnolia: Sadly, my dear, those are not valid answers but great job with the consistency.

Rob: I'll take the points wherever I can get them.

Magnolia: It's funny you say that.

Rob: Which part?

Magnolia: About the points. I'm not keeping score.

Rob: Yeah, I know. I didn't mean actual points.

Magnolia: I know. It's funny because I rarely think of you working for the points.

Rob: …if that's a statement about me being a rad guy, I'll take it.

Rob: If it's a statement about Brock working for his points, I'm going to pretend I didn't see it because I think it's better I know nothing more than the extreme basics.

Magnolia: You're a rad guy, Rob Russo.

Rob: You're fucking right, I am.

Magnolia: Do people say that? Rad. Is rad a thing?

Magnolia: Who cares. It's a thing for us.

Rob: I love it when you're decisive.

Magnolia: Hmm. That sounds like a statement on my indecisiveness.

Rob: Why would I do that?

Rob: Ugh. That sounded passive-aggressive. Sorry. I'm wiped out and I haven't packed for this trip to New York yet and I'm being an asshole.

Magnolia: Don't you leave first thing in the morning?

Rob: 6 a.m.

Magnolia: Go pack!

Rob: It sounds like you're worried about me.

Rob: I'd rather find out what you wanted to ask me.

Magnolia: Go. Pack.

Rob: Not until you ask me your two-part question.

Magnolia: No. Get your life together.

Magnolia: In fact, don't text me until you get through airport security tomorrow.

Rob: Why not?

Magnolia: You said it yourself. You're tired. You're traveling and working all day tomorrow. I'm sure you're stressed. Get ready for your day and then go to bed like a grown ass adult.