The Magnolia Chronicles: Adventures in Modern Dating(54)

"That's their problem," Tiel said. "Not yours. They need to handle themselves without putting pressure and baggage on you."

"They do," I said. "Really, they do. Some of the baggage is part of the bargain. Ben can't forget his grandmother died. Rob can't forget the people closest to him betrayed him. I can't forget that I've been burned too many times to trust fire."

"I know all about burns," Tiel replied. "I know how tough it is to tolerate heat."

I stared at her chin-length black hair as she tapped a beat on the edge of the table. Was she making a pointed comment about me and how I forced her into the fire? Or was this another instance of me jumping to the worst conclusion and assuming everything was about me?

"It sounds like a lot of work," Shannon mused.

"Yes," I agreed. "They're not meant for a poly situation either. They didn't actually choose that. None of us did. We just fell into it and now we're tunneling out. The whole thing is messy. It's going to be messy until it ends and it will probably be messy after that point too."

"I think you might know," Lauren said softly. "I think you know and you're bracing yourself against the pain and upheaval of that choice."

Andy pointed at Lauren while looking at me. "She's mad smart when it comes to this stuff. She understands relationships and knows what should happen next. You should listen to her."

"I do understand," Lauren said, laughing. "But only when it comes to everyone else's relationships."

"I'm hoping the choice makes itself," I admitted. "It's probably silly but I'm waiting for a sign. Something that helps me figure out how to go forward without hurting anyone or getting hurt myself."

Lauren, Andy, Shannon, and Tiel were quiet for a moment. They studied the plates in front of them, the empty glasses Lauren had commandeered, the mason jar in the center of the table filled with gorgeous peonies. They remained silent while the reality of this crazy, sexy, fun situation settled around them and they understood it to be more heartbreaking than anything else.

It was wonderful to have these men vying over me. It was a dream come true. But it was complicated and someone was going to get hurt. Maybe several someones.

And in the back of my mind, I worried I'd make the wrong choice. I worried I'd live my life wondering about the one I gave up.

I had to be certain. If I wasn't, I couldn't choose either of them. And that was just as painful.

Shannon cleared her throat. "You're going to need a killer dress but you're also going to need us. Bring them to Matt and Lauren's house on moving day. We'll help you." She shrugged. "Worst-case scenario, we send my husband to interrogate them. Or challenge them to some commando drills. They can do it shirtless and we'll go home and attack our husbands. It will be fabulous. Everyone benefits in that scenario."

Lauren hung her head. "Oh my god. Shannon."

Even though I wasn't in third grade anymore, I raised my hand. "I would enjoy that."





Chapter Twenty-Four





Ben: Hey, girl. Any chance you have room in your shower for me?





Rob: There's a new poke bowl spot near my building. Interested in trying it out?





Magnolia: Greetings, friends.

Ben: Not the group text of death.

Ben: Please.

Ben: I'd rather the middle finger emoji.

Rob: Are you done yet?

Ben: I'm done with you.

Magnolia: Yeahhhhhhhhhh so I'm spending the night with my dog and Netflix. I'll catch up with you two later.

Rob: You know where to find me.

Ben: She knows where to find both of us, dickhead. The finding has never been an issue.

Rob: Thanks for clarifying that, Brock. Helpful.

Magnolia: Goodnight!





*



Ben: I know I said I wanted to work on the house tonight but I don't want to.

Magnolia: That's fine. No worries.

Magnolia: Is everything okay?

Ben: Yeah.

Magnolia: I'm not going to pull teeth, Brock.

Ben: My grandmother's headstone went up this morning and I've been parked in the cemetery since then.

Magnolia: Oh, honey.

Ben: No, it's nothing. I just don't want to do shit right now.

Magnolia: I understand.

Magnolia: The Sox are playing tonight. Want to order pizza and watch the game at my place? Gronk will be wearing his home game bow tie.

Ben: Don't you have tickets?

Magnolia: My brother is taking a client to the game.

Ben: What kind of work does he do? And which brother are we talking about?

Magnolia: Ash is an accountant. He and my dad work together. Linden is a tree doctor.

Ben: Which one has the tickets?

Magnolia: Ash. Linden will tell you his clients are trees, so…

Ben: Okay, let me get this straight. You're a landscape architect and one of your brothers is a tree doctor? How did you get so earthy-crunchy?

Magnolia: I hope you're typing earthy-crunchy with love.

Ben: Always.

Magnolia: We're the children of hardcore hippies. My parents kept chickens looooooong before it was cool and we all knew how to play the ukulele by the time we were 5.