The Magnolia Chronicles: Adventures in Modern Dating(53)

"The amazing part was how he stayed asleep for two hours after the meeting ended," Shannon added. "Just sitting there in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, dead to the world."

"Wait. What are we talking about?" Tiel asked.

"Lots of things," I replied. "It's all good."

Lauren snatched the champagne flute from her sister-in-law. "You're cut off."

"This event you're going to," Shannon started, "what are the details? I have a few shops in mind but I want to make sure I'm operating with the right idea."

I nodded. "The investment banker, Rob—"

"The one with the big cock," Andy added.

"Yes. That one." I gave her a smirk. "Rob's ex-girlfriend and his ex-best friend are having an engagement party. They're getting married."

Shannon blew out a breath. "I have an idea why they're his exes."

"Yep." I stared at my plate and the half-eaten French toast there. Why eat when you could talk to the best ladies in town? "He's doing okay but it's a tricky situation. Definitely not ideal. He needs this party to go well."

"And you need a killer dress," Andy said. "Lethal."

"We should call April," Shannon murmured, her empty glass dangling between her fingers. "Lethal is her first language, middle name, and last known address."

"I don't know April," I said. "I feel like that might be a good thing."

"My husband's business partner's girlfriend-slash-common-law-wife," Shannon replied as if that made perfect sense. "I don't think I'm supposed to tell you that she's an assassin. I don't think I'm supposed to know that either."

Lauren gestured for Shannon's glass. "That's enough. You're cut off."

"Can I have my phone back so I can call April?" she asked.

Lauren wagged a finger at Shannon. "No. Eat something, would you? I don't want to hear your husband complaining about us getting you liquored up again. He was not happy the night he picked us up from the pedicure place."

Shannon shook her head. "Nah, he'll just get me pregnant again. He's been thinking about it. I can tell."

"In the shower?" Tiel asked.

"Are these promises or threats?" Andy asked.

Shannon speared a piece of my French toast off my plate and popped it into her mouth. "Yes and both."

"Right, so we're not calling April the assassin," I said, laughing. "The party is black tie and I want his exes to know exactly what they lost when they fucked him over. Like that scene in Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts goes back to the boutique that wouldn't serve her."

"'Big mistake,'" Lauren said, quoting the film.

"'Big. Huge,'" Tiel added.

"You like the one with the cock," Shannon said.

I pressed my hand to my chest as I laughed. "For the record, they both have cocks."

"The one with the impressive cock," she clarified. "And don't tell me they're both impressive. I'm sure the firefighter knows how to work the hose."

I nodded, my cheeks heating. He did. He really did. "I do like the one with the impressive cock, yes."

"And you like the firefighter too," Lauren said.

Another nod. "I do."

Shannon held up her hands, letting them fall to her lap. "You could just have two men. Don't make yourself sick trying to choose. Even if I'm excited by the prospect of a meat market and some scoring criteria, that doesn't mean you have to make a decision."

"They're a lot to handle on their own," I admitted. "I couldn't imagine them together. It would end in a mushroom cloud of testosterone."

"No, I wasn't suggesting you have them together," Shannon replied. "Just have two boyfriends. There's nothing wrong with that. Plenty of people do that or something like that. If we're placing value judgments on anything, I'd say that's an improvement over randomly fucking your way through hookup apps. But there's nothing wrong with the random fucking if that works for you."

"I thought about that, about having two boyfriends. It's been on my mind this week," I said. "I thought I'd feel totally conflicted and horrible about things…progressing…with both of them. But I didn't feel any of that. I like them both. I like who I am with each of them. I don't want to give up either of them. It hurts me to think about not having one of them in my life."

"Then don't," Tiel offered. "Do your thing, girl. Get it."

"I will but…but I don't want to do it forever," I said. "Or even much longer than the summer. I adore them both and I hate the idea of giving one of them up but this is project management. I do enough of that during that day. They're a lot to juggle."

"Dicks are difficult to juggle," Shannon murmured. "Balls are easier."

"I mix up things constantly," I continued. "I forget what I've said to which guy. I forget which person I'm meeting for dinner or whether I've asked one of them about their work thing yet. It's fun but I'm not cut out for long-term polyamory. Honestly, neither are they. They're a little unchained when they remember they're not the only dude in my life."