The Lies That Bind(65)

Still gazing out my window, I clear my throat, the reply on the tip of my tongue. What’s one more lie in a sea of much bigger lies? And it’s a perfectly acceptable fib—more like safeguarding my secret for a little longer, in anticipation of our plan to surprise everyone at the party. I just don’t want to tell Amy, of all people, ahead of my own family.

But for some reason, probably having to do with exhaustion, I can’t muster the energy to tell her anything but the truth. So I look at her and nod, shocked to discover that the admission feels right, even though she’s the last person I should be confiding in.

“Oh my God!” she says in a loud whisper, her eyes big and shining. “No way!”

“I’m afraid there is a way,” I say in a quiet voice.

“Afraid?” she says. “Cecily! This is awesome news! Congratulations! Wow!”

    “Thank you…It wasn’t planned, obviously,” I say, deciding to practice my talk for our parents. “But Matthew proposed before we knew.”

“What’s your wedding date again?”

“October nineteenth. We’re keeping the date. Having the baby, then getting married,” I say, just as we’re pulling up to Matthew’s building. “But nobody really knows yet.”

“Got it,” she says, putting a finger to her lips just as I spot Matthew on the sidewalk, talking to his doorman. Amy sees him, too, winding down her window and calling out, “Hey, stranger! Got the patient here!”

“Hey, Amy,” he says, looking upset.

I know he’s worried about me, but overriding that, he has to also be thinking about Amy’s loss. In any event, it’s an awkward moment as Matthew circles the cab to my side, opens my door, and peers inside. “You okay?” he says.

“Yeah. I’m fine,” I say. “You know…it’s probably just…” I motion to my stomach.

He nods as he takes my hand and helps me out of the taxi. Meanwhile, Amy pays our fare and also gets out of the cab.

“Fabulous news on your engagement, Matt,” she says, circling around to him. “Such a small world, huh?”

He thanks her and says yes, and she gives him a kiss on the cheek followed by a long hug.

When they part, Matthew shoves his hands in his pockets, shuffles his feet, and says, “I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. I hope you got my note?”

“I did. Thank you,” she says.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m hanging in there. Trying to stay busy…and your fiancée here has been such a wonderful breath of fresh air.” She looks at me and smiles, then offers to come up with us, to get me settled, make sure everything is okay.

    I start to refuse, but can tell she wants to come, and have the sudden sense that she’s lonely. “That would be great, Amy,” I say. “Thank you.”

“Yes, thank you,” Matthew says, as the three of us turn and walk into the building.

As we ride the elevator up to his apartment, Amy and Matthew make small talk, mostly about his sister and their parents, while I try to keep my mind as blank as possible. When we get inside, Matthew tells me to go sit down, gesturing toward the living room, announcing that he’ll bring us both water. I nod and walk to his sofa, curling up in the corner of it.

Amy follows me, sitting at my feet. “How do you feel?” she says.

“Much better,” I tell her. “Thank you.”

She casts a furtive glance toward the kitchen and then whispers, “Are you going to tell him I know? About the baby? Or should I play dumb?”

I shrug, knowing that I shouldn’t unnecessarily add to the web of deception. So a moment later, as Matthew brings us each a glass of ice water, then sits in the chair closest to me, I clear my throat and say, “So…Amy knows that I’m pregnant….”

He glances at her as she gives him a playful shrug. “Sorry. I asked her point-blank.”

“It’s fine,” he says, reaching out to squeeze my shoulder. “Everyone will know soon enough. Right, hon?”

“That’s the plan,” I say.

“Well, it’s thrilling news,” Amy says with a high-wattage smile, looking first at Matthew, then at me. “I’m really happy for you both.”

He thanks her, looking proud but nervous. I feel the same, at least the nervous part, and hope that the subject ends here. But it doesn’t. Instead Amy says, “Anyway, Cecily told me you’re keeping your wedding date…but if you wanted to fast-track things, I could help.”

    “Fast-track?” Matthew says, looking intrigued.

“Yeah. I have a lot of contacts in the city—I’m sure you both do, too, but in my business, I know people…vendors and wedding planners, and of course, designers. I had a friend in this same situation and she put together the most exquisite wedding in three months.”

“That’s not a bad idea, actually,” Matthew says, nodding.

“It would be fun,” Amy says. “Really fun.”

Matthew shifts his gaze from Amy to me, raising his eyebrows, waiting for my reaction. When I don’t speak, he says, “What do you think, Cecily?”

“Well…I think that’s an incredibly sweet offer,” I say, dodging the question and hoping he realizes that I don’t want to commit to anything.