The Girl He Used to Know(48)
So far, my senior year of college had been the best year of my life. I had a steady boyfriend, I’d attended a chess tournament, and while I hadn’t contributed directly to the team’s victory, my skill level had earned me the right to be a part of it. I was exhibiting a level of responsibility for my sexual health that gave me immense personal satisfaction, and every day I was one step closer to the career I’d coveted for so long.
Life was on an upswing, and I was starting to believe that my future was every bit as bright as Janice always promised it would be.
* * *
Later that day, Jonathan picked me up to walk to class. “I went to the student health center this morning,” I said as I grabbed my jacket and backpack and locked the door behind us.
“Are you sick?”
“I went there so I could get on the pill.”
He stopped walking. “The birth control pill?”
“Is there another kind of pill they call the pill?”
“No. I mean, not that I know of. Really? You went on the pill?”
“It’s what women who are in monogamous relationships do. Janice said it would make things easier and that you would probably like it.”
“Well, yeah. I like it a lot.”
“It won’t be safe until I’ve taken them for thirty days. And the doc tor said you have to get tested. I got tested. I can’t have sex without a condom unless I know you’re free of sexually transmitted diseases.”
“I assure you that I don’t have any STDs.”
“The doctor said you might say that.”
“Annika, I will get tested. I promise.” He squeezed my hand and kissed me. “This is going to be really great.”
26
Annika
THE UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS
AT URBANA-CHAMPAIGN
A friend of Jonathan’s was having a party, and he wanted us to go. He’d mentioned it that morning while we were eating breakfast, but I hadn’t committed the details to memory, because I really wasn’t interested. I felt tired and crampy and my back ached, and the gloomy weather wasn’t helping things. It was much colder than usual for early April and had been raining all day, the cold drizzly kind of rain that falls during that in-between time when winter is over but spring hasn’t fully arrived. I’d spent the day curled up in Jonathan’s bed with him and a book, and spending the evening that way sounded much more appealing than anything we would encounter beyond the four walls of his bedroom.
“I’m going stir-crazy,” he said after we ate dinner. “We don’t have to stay for a long time, but I really want to introduce you to some more of my friends.”
Janice said that Jonathan always seemed proud to be with me. That made me feel good, because until I met him, I never thought I would be the type of girl anyone would be proud to be seen with. And Janice was always reminding me that relationships were all about compromise.
“Like when you said Joe wasn’t a great kisser but had a bigger than average penis?”
“I said that?”
“You did. After seven wine coolers.” Joe had been replaced a few weeks ago by a graduate student who rode a bicycle everywhere and whose penis according to Janice was merely average. “But his hands are magical,” she said.
Jonathan made lots of concessions for me, and I didn’t need Janice to tell me that. He kept me away from loud noises before they could overwhelm me. He was always kind—to people, to animals, to strangers. He made me feel special and smart.
Jonathan wanted to go to the party, and I wanted to be the kind of girlfriend who compromised, who made concessions. So at nine thirty we put on our jackets and we headed out into the rain and we went to the party.
* * *
I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. The host’s name was Lincoln and I only spoke to him briefly, when Jonathan introduced us. For some reason, Lincoln’s girlfriend took a shine to me when she found me sitting at the end of the hallway playing with the fattest cat I had ever seen. Her name was Lily and the cat—whose name was Tiger despite it not having one single stripe—belonged to her. It turned out she liked cats almost as much as I did. I told her about Mr. Bojangles and suggested she get Tiger one of those balls with the bell inside. “But take out the bell because you will hate the noise it makes and it will drive you crazy,” I said.
“Tiger hates balls, but he loves string.” She left abruptly, and when she returned a moment later, she had a stick with a piece of string tied to the end. Tiger went nuts, and we took turns holding the stick and dragging it along for him to chase.
I didn’t know if her kindness was genuine. I still struggled with that, because I’d learned that sometimes people were kind only because they wanted something. “Don’t you like parties?” I finally asked. If her boyfriend was the host, it surprised me that she’d want to spend time sitting in the hallway with a stranger.
“I like them, but I don’t drink and Linc and his friends have a tendency to get loud after a few beers.”
“I don’t drink much either. I mean I will drink, but it’s an acquired taste and I haven’t finished acquiring it yet.”
Jonathan poked his head into the hall. “Hey, there you are,” he said. He crouched down beside Lily and me. “Looks like you’ve made a friend.”