The Feel Good Factor(61)

I crack open my chest and let out the truth. “I do love him. I did fall in love with him. And you two were right all along, warning me, looking out for me, and being here for me, even when I wasn’t leaning on you.”

“That’s what we do,” Vanessa says. “Look out for you.”

Arden laughs sweetly. “And we do it especially when you’re pigheaded.”

Sighing, I manage a smile. “I am pigheaded. God, I’m the most stubborn mule there ever was.”

Vanessa raises her coffee mug in agreement. “You won’t get any argument from me.”

I inhale deeply, feeling like I can breathe for the first time in more than twenty-four hours. Feeling like I don’t have to navigate all these thorny issues solo. “I should have told you two about my worries over the promotion. I went to Derek instead.” It comes out like a confession.

“Was he helpful?” Arden asks carefully.

I flash back to our conversation in the kitchen. “He actually was. He’s easy to talk to. He’s very straightforward, very tell it like it is.”

Vanessa smiles. “Sounds like I’d have approved of whatever advice he gave you.”

“I think you would have, but let’s not talk about him right now. Let’s do something else. Something we haven’t done in a while.”

“Pillow fight?” Arden offers.

I stick out my tongue, shaking my head. “Love you madly, but no thanks. I’m thinking we get out of town.”

Vanessa rubs her palms. “There’s a new vintage shop on Fillmore Street. I’ve been salivating over the tea length dresses in the online catalog.”

“Let’s go to San Francisco,” I say, and my smile spreads across my face, it stretches along my arms, and it reaches my toes.

Arden lifts her mug. “I’ll drink to that. You need to spend the day with your best friends. You’re not going to exercise away the problems.”

Laughing, I take another bite. “I’m definitely not. But you know what?”

“What?”

“I’m not going to wallow in them either. I’m moving on. So what if I didn’t get the promotion? So what if I didn’t get the guy? I have you two.” I set down my fork and speak deep from the heart, like I’ve been doing. “I need you guys. I love you both.”

“We love you,” Arden says.

“And we’re always here for you,” Vanessa says.

There’s only one thing to do now. Group hug. I have my sisters, and I’ll always have them.

When we’re done, we climb into Vanessa’s car and wind our way through town. But as we pass the Silver Tavern, I shout out that it’s time for a pit stop.

“You want to go wine tasting at nine in the morning?”

“No, I want to snag a little something.”

I pop into the restaurant that’s open for breakfast and lunch, buy a gift card, then a card at the pharmacy on the next block.

We stop at Elias’s house on the way out of town. I leave the card tucked into his screen door, congratulating him on his promotion and giving him and his wife a chance to dine at their favorite lunch spot to celebrate.





35





Derek





I grab Jodie and wrap my arms around her the second I see her. “So good to see you.”

“Whoa. You okay, sweetie?”

I nod, grateful her heart is beating. “Just glad you’re alive.”

“I’m not going anywhere, but it sounds like you had a bad day.”

“You can say that again.” I let go and pinch the bridge of my nose, squeezing hard like I can erase the night.

She glances inside. “Travis, watch the baby. I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Yes, Mom!”

She steps onto the porch and shoots me a serious stare with her dark-brown eyes. “Want to talk about it?”

I shake my head. “Not really. Just one of those days. Know what I mean?”

She brushes a hand over my shoulder, understanding completely. “I do. Those days are hard. You do your best, but sometimes it’s not enough.”

“Yep.”

“But you keep going. You keep doing. It’s all you can do.”

“Yeah. You’re right.” I tell her why the shift hit me harder than most. I mention the thirty-six-year-old and how it brought so many unexpected fears to the surface.

She taps her sternum. “I can’t make any guarantees, but this ticker is in solid shape. And I’m going to do my best to boss you around for a long, long time.”

I manage a laugh. “You always were a third parent.”

“And I probably always will be.” She reaches for the door. “Come on in. Have some coffee and eggs. It’ll make your day better.”

It’s early on Saturday morning, but the crew is already wide awake, crowded around the dining room table, playing a board game that looks nothing like the board games we played as kids—no chutes, ladders, or lands of candy.

Travis and Molly shout out their rowdy good mornings to me as Travis plays from the floor, entertaining Devon who is strapped into a bouncy chair.

“What game is that?” I ask Jodie.

“Imploding Kittens? Exploding Kittens? Kittens with Mittens?” She shrugs, whispering, “Trust me, I tried to get them to play Monopoly.”