The Boatman's Wife(15)

The American boy, Jesse, had spoken with pride about fulfilling his dead father’s legacy with his boatyard, but what was her father’s legacy? She knew in her bones, he would be so disappointed in her. More than that. Disgusted. As would her mam. Niamh recalled another memory from the day of her father’s funeral. Brendan’s father, Tadhg, holding up her mam as they walked back down the hill from the graveyard, but her mam shaking him off.

‘This is all your fault,’ she’d heard her hiss.

Her mam could never know her secret. Niamh stared out at the dark churchyard. She wasn’t going in. Not tonight.





Chapter Five





Rockland, Maine, 19th October 2017





At some point, Lily had to get up off her knees and stand up. She stumbled back to the hospital in the dark, soaked through to the skin. As soon as she walked through the doors, her mom ran up to her.

‘Thank God,’ she said, her face streaked with tears. ‘Where’d you go?’

Lily shook her head, not answering.

‘Where’s Ray George?’ she asked her mom. ‘They’ve got to keep looking for Connor. He could still be out there.’

Her mom didn’t contradict her, but she gave her a sorrowful look. ‘He’s in with your dad,’ she said. ‘Asking him what happened.’

‘Is he okay?’

‘Yes,’ her mom said. ‘All his vitals are good, but they’re keeping him in for a precautionary measure.’

‘And Ryan?’

‘He’s okay,’ her mom said. ‘The girls are with him. He has slight hypothermia, but okay otherwise.’

Lily marched down the corridor with her mom at her heels. She needed to see her dad. Of course she was glad he was alive, and Ryan, but she was devastated, too.



It was a shock to see her father in the hospital bed looking so washed out and weak. He was big and strong in ordinary life. But now he looked old. His eyes bloodshot from the elements, his pallor sickly. Ray George was sitting on a chair by the bed, taking notes. As she came in, both men looked up at her. She saw the sympathy in Ray’s eyes first as he stood up.

‘I’m real sorry, Lily,’ he said.

Lily didn’t answer him, but looked straight at her dad.

‘What happened, Daddy?’ she asked him, unable to suppress the tremble in her voice.

‘Oh Lily, darling,’ her dad said, reaching out. But Lily stayed back, biting her lip. Her outburst on the beach had left her feeling strangely detached from her parents.

‘What happened?’ Her voice came out harsh and cold.

She could see the shock on her mom’s face. But her dad looked down at his hands, cupped on his lap in the bed. In that one small movement, the dropping of his gaze, Lily detected guilt. She knew her father well. He blamed himself for what had happened to Connor.

‘The storm came on so fast,’ he said in a shaky voice.

‘But all the other boats returned hours before it got bad.’ Lily couldn’t help the accusatory note in her voice. ‘Why didn’t you come back? Did you not get the weather warnings?’

Her daddy closed his eyes. ‘It didn’t seem to me like it was that bad,’ he said, opening his eyes again, giving her a pleading look. ‘We’ve been through worse, you and I. That’s what I thought.’

‘Jack, did you ignore the weather warnings?’ Ray asked her father in a low voice.

Her dad shook his head, but didn’t reply.

‘Stop this now,’ her mom intervened, approaching the bed, and standing protectively by it. ‘He’s not ready to answer any questions.’ She turned to Ray. ‘Can you not wait until the morning? Let Jack recover.’

‘Okay,’ Ray said, putting his notebook in his back pocket.

‘Are you still looking for Connor?’ Lily turned to the coastguard.

‘No, I’m sorry, Lily. He’s gone.’

‘But how do you know for sure? He could be clinging to a pipe, or hanging on to a piece of wreckage.’ Her voice cracked at the thought of it. ‘He could be out there on his own in the dark.’

‘No, Lily,’ her dad said in a quiet voice. ‘I saw him go in.’ He paused. ‘It was getting real rough, and we were taking on water. I called up the Coast Guard to come and get us.’

‘Why wasn’t he picked up with you and Ryan?’ Lily asked.

‘Connor got caught up in the lobster trap line. It pulled him into the sea.’ Her daddy paused. ‘He just vanished.’

‘Oh, Jack.’ She heard her mother’s despairing voice.

‘No, no,’ Lily said, her voice outside of her, while her whole body shook.

‘Next thing I knew, we were going down…’ Her daddy’s voice petered out weakly.

‘But didn’t he have his suit on?’ Lily screeched at her father. ‘He might have made it to the life raft.’

Her dad kept staring at his hands. ‘He was too far away. Gone too fast. I’m sorry, Lily.’

She closed her eyes and clenched her fists. Could see it all in her head. Connor flung into the sea, desperately trying to stay afloat, while a huge wave broke over him, swallowed him up. Her father and Ryan hanging on to each other as they got into the life raft, and watched their boat, the Lily May, go down.