Ten Below Zero(70)

“And did it?”

He shook his head. “No. But something better happened. I created new memories. I danced with you in Las Vegas. I saw you take in the Grand Canyon and try to diminish it with words you didn’t mean. I held you close to me while we stood in four states together, feeling your heart beat against mine. Giving you the hug you should have had years ago. And we sat under an arch and looked out over an area that was named for purgatory.”

My breaths were shallow and I touched the space on my ribcage, where my new ink was.

He continued. “That moment was beautiful. You were beautiful.” I had to turn my face away from him. All my feelings for Everett were materializing, and quickly, becoming solid and easily identifiable. He grabbed my face in his hand and turned me to face him. “It was sweet. It was a sweet moment for me,” he said, staring into my eyes.

My chest hurt, my lips hurt, my eyes and my ears and my head hurt. I couldn’t stop it.

“When you kissed me this morning, you did it with feeling, just like I asked,” he said. His eyes stayed on mine, willing me to listen. “Another sweet moment.”

I bit my lip to keep it from trembling. I opened my mouth but he put a finger up to it, quieting me. “Listen to me. If I had the surgery, there’s a good chance I’d lose my memory forever, just like I did last time. This procedure would be more invasive, so I’d lose those moments. I’d be alive, but I wouldn’t know who you were. I wouldn’t remember how angry you were when I brought you to world’s largest thermometer. I would never remember how it felt to dance with you in my arms. I would forget the moment I watched your eyes close at the Grand Canyon, how the sunlight lit up your features, making the Grand Canyon itself pale in comparison. I’d forget our bantering, and the sound you make when you laugh, even if it’s scary as hell.”

I laughed, a watery laugh, but a laugh nonetheless.

“See?” he said, smiling at me. “It sounds terrible. But look what it does to your face. You glow. I don’t want to forget that. I’d forget the Four Corners, and the side trip to that ranch to help Mira. I’d forget the way the blood rushed to my ears as I ran after that man. The rage that filled me when I saw him knock you down. I don’t want to forget that moment, because that’s the moment I realized that you were important to me.”

The first tear slipped from my eyes and I tried, futilely, to stop the rest.

“When you bandaged my knuckles and then we had sex in front of the mirror. I’ve told you that you look incredible when you come and you do. You’re almost unearthly beautiful.” He used his thumb to brush away the tear that slid down my cheek. “When we went on that tour through the canyon. I watched your face as I told you the history and then again when I told you to seal that view in your memory, so every time you looked at that photo, you’d remember how it felt, how it looked.”

I knew I wouldn’t forget that moment, not for the rest of my life.

“I’m not Eloisa. I don’t want the gift of losing my memory. I want to remember it all, remember you. I would rather die with those memories in my mind, with your name on my lips, than have the surgery and wake up, forgetting the best times of my life, forgetting you. Ignorance isn’t bliss.”

More tears leaked from my eyes. I didn’t know what to say.

“It’s okay Parker. Be happy. You’ve given me happiness.”

But I didn’t want to give him happiness. I wanted to give him life, longer than the one he was on the path to live. I couldn’t stop crying. The tears poured from my eyes and I nearly choked on a sob.

“Can I show you my tattoo now?” I nodded through the tears.

He stood up, pulling off his shirt. My eyes slid up to the bandage just above the words on his ribcage. He slowly removed the bandage. It was my name, in bold block letters above the words, “This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us.”

“You made a liar out of my tattoo, Parker.”

I raised my eyes from my name on his chest to his face. “What do you mean?”

“I didn’t get one sweet moment. I got handfuls of them.”

I bit my lip again. I was still crying, but not as hard. “Do you want to see my tattoo?” I asked, choking on a sob.

“Of course I do.”

“Help me unzip this,” I said, turning around and holding up my hair.

He came up behind me and first placed a hand on the back of my neck. He squeezed gently on my neck before gliding his hand down to the top of the zipper.

When it was completely unzipped, I let my hair fall and turned around. I pulled the top of the dress down, clearing my breasts first. And then, after a deep breath for courage, I pulled it all the way down, pushing it over my hips to pool at my feet.

Everett was staring at the spot just under my left breast, on my ribs. He held a hand out for me and I grabbed it, thankful that he pulled me closer. His hand found the corner of the bandage. He looked at me, placed his other hand on the curve where my neck met my shoulder, and tugged the bandage.

I blew out a breath, from nerves, from the little lingering pain I still felt. He kept his eyes on me and threw the bandage behind us before leading me to sit on the bed. It was as if he knew, knew that the tattoo meant something more than just pretty ink on my skin. And then his eyes moved down and he sucked in a breath.