Tell Me You Need Me (Search and Seduce #1)(43)

Waiting on him.

Waiting for the next phone call.

Waiting to see if he’d choose to come back to her.

Waiting to see if he survived the next mission.

Waiting.

“I can’t.” She loved him so much it hurt, and she didn’t know what to do. There was no way to make it better. No way to cling to someone who couldn’t be held. She was losing a man she never had the right to hold on to in the first place, a man she knew better than to reach for. But he’d tricked her into opening her heart to feeling something more for him, and now her soul was paying the price.

“Chloe,” he whispered, and pain sliced through his dark eyes. “We can make this work. My job is dangerous, but it’ll get easier to deal with.”

“You could have been hurt worse. Died, even.”

“This isn’t the first time this has happened,” he said. “I always come out okay.”

Her gaze snapped to his. “What do you mean this isn’t the first time?” Her skull felt on the verge of imploding. It seemed so obvious—of course he was putting his life on the line every time he went out there, but she had to ask. “How many times have you come close to dying?”

The muscle in his jaw ticked. “Once.”

Her lungs shut down. This was real. He had almost died. “When?”

“Few weeks ago. Before I came to Beaufort.”

Her mind went numb and her breath caught in her throat. So recently?

“Is that what motivated you to do—to want—all of this?”

He nodded. “But I’m fine,” he added.

“Really?” she said loudly. “Because you don’t look fine. You look like you’re injured and you’re trying to go out anyway.”

“I know my limits,” he growled.

“Clearly,” she said sarcastically. He was a hero. He had to go, had to be out there, no matter the risk. And she knew better than to fall for a man like that. He’d always put himself in danger—which made him someone she could never be with.

Flashes of what could have been, might have been, flickered through her brain, and she fought the urge to retch. He could have died, and she would have never known until he was already gone.

“I love you so much,” she said again. Anger heated every word, because reasonable or not, she was pissed he’d shown her how much she loved him. How much she’d always loved him. “And that’s your fault. You made me love you. And now you’re offering nothing in return.”

“I’m offering you everything I’m able to give.”

“Which is what? You leaving? Coming in and out of my life with no guarantee you’ll ever come back?”

“I’ll come back to you. I’ll always come back, you just have to wait for me.”

And there it was. She had to sit back and wait while he took her heart and soul with him every time he left.

She had to get away from him. She couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe.

“Chloe, I have to get back out there now. That little girl needs me to find her parents.” He yanked on his boots. “Just wait for me. Please. We’ll talk about this later.”

No. She was done waiting. She should have been done with this long ago. Maybe then she could have saved herself the heartache she’d always been afraid of.

“I can’t wait for you,” she whispered. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. It’s not your fault—this is who you are. Go find those parents.”

Gage called her name as she turned and ran out of the hospital, but she didn’t look back.





Chapter Eleven


Gage wanted to chase after her, but Chloe knew him better than he knew himself. The girl’s parents were missing, and he had to go out there to make sure the family was reunited.

His chest was sore, as if Chloe had snatched his heart from between his ribs and run off with it. But he had to focus. Had to get back out there. It was his single objective.

Footsteps and the loud ruckus of conversation drifted into the room. Gage recognized some of the voices from his rescue team just before East stepped into the room.

“Hey.”

“Not now,” Gage growled.

“Whoa, easy tiger. I was coming to tell you the good news. The parents were found. Thankfully they stuck together and seem to be in good shape.”

Gage blinked. The parents were found? The family was okay? And they’d finished the job without him? “What?” His mind and body slowed for the first time in hours. “Who found them?”

East smiled. “The new recruits you trained. They were like carbon copies of you. They moved and examined the area exactly like you taught them. I swear, it was like watching you out there.”

Gage was half stunned and happy. The guys stuck to their training and acted on his behalf the way he’d taught them. He had done this.

“It’s a good f*ckin’ day, man,” East said. “Everyone survived with nothing more than a few scratches.”

The adrenaline that’d kept Gage functioning drained from his limbs like an emptying whirlpool. They were okay.

Relief settled in his bones as clarity hit him like a punch to the stomach. Chloe had left him. She’d told him she’d loved him, and then she’d walked away.