Tell Me You Need Me (Search and Seduce #1)(38)

“Pretend there’s more between us than there actually is?” she snapped.

“That’s where you and I differ. I know there’s more between us.”

“There can’t be,” she said. “You know how bad that’d be.”

“So you want to keep doing what we’re doing without ever exploring more?”

Her wide eyes searched his face. She wanted to say something—it was on those pretty lips, but she held it back and glanced away. He grabbed the soap and placed his lathered hands on her chest.

“Tell me the truth,” he said. “What is it you want? Beyond the sex, beyond a casual and temporary relationship. What do you honestly want?”

Her hands stilled. “I want to be the fantasy…not the reality.”

Her words smacked straight to his gut. She’d rather live in suspended bliss with no thought of a deeper connection than risk being real with him. Maybe they were further apart than he’d thought. But behind her perfect skin and sweet face was a hint of fear. Was she afraid of him? Afraid of more? Could he convince her this long-distance type of relationship could work?

Before he could ask, her green eyes fastened to his. “What is it you want, Gage? Beyond the date, what do you honestly want?”

The truth hit him hard. “I want you to miss me when I’m gone.”

Her chest rose on a sharp breath. In a few words and a single admission, the difficulty of their situation blared like fog lights in a storm. Dread gathered in his stomach.

Could they both have what they wanted?

Maybe this was why fantasy was better. Reality could hurt.

They didn’t say anything else. Just finished cleaning up while their words and tonight’s events settled over them. He wrapped Chloe in a towel and took her to bed.

“I should go,” she whispered.

But he tucked her under the covers and climbed in behind her. Because God help him, he couldn’t send her away. Not when she was so close.

Would they ever have a shot at anything more than this fantasy? It seemed less and less possible.

He hugged her against him. “Stay here tonight. In my bed. In the fantasy.”

She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t try to leave, either. Her soft, even breathing was all the answer he needed for now. Because at least for tonight, she’d stay. In his arms. In the fantasy. Even though he couldn’t get reality out of his mind.





Chapter Nine


Chloe opened her eyes and stretched. The soft covers floated around her like a cloud, surrounding her in warmth, tranquility, and…

Panic.

She was in Gage’s bed. The soft light of late morning filtered through the room and warmed her face, but he was nowhere to be seen.

What had happened? She’d had sex with Gage…in the mud, during a rainstorm. He’d taken her to his place, and then they’d showered and gone to bed without having sex again. What had he been thinking? What had she been thinking? Showering without sex. Sleeping in the same bed without sex. The only people who did that were people in relationships. The kind of people she’d insisted she and Gage could never be.

She should have left him last night as soon as she saw where this was going. Instead, she’d lain there, her head against his chest, and had fallen asleep.

What had she been thinking? What had he been saying?

Everything in the light of day felt more like a mess than last night, which was an actual mess. He wanted to see where things went between them? Like on a serious level? Dating?

She shook her head. No. He’d be gone as soon as the next mission came his way—then everything would go back to normal. He’d get caught back up in saving people, and by the time he came back, he’d have forgotten about changing what was between them into something that couldn’t last.

Damn him. Damn him for making her care about him. Damn him for opening her up to the kind of loss she couldn’t face. She’d seen how love—and loss—had destroyed her mother. She wouldn’t let it destroy her, too. She knew better.

This had to stop. She was already getting too attached to Gage. Usually, he’d be gone by now and she’d never have the chance to think these things, to feel for him. Except he’d been here for a few days, and already her heart was opening to him in ways it never should.

She should cut this off now. Tell him to leave her alone, at least for now. Maybe forever.

The front door opened, and Gage walked in carrying a paper bag. He headed her way, set it on the bed, and quickly kissed her lips. She glared at him.

“Well good morning to you too,” he said.

“I need to go.” She started to roll off the bed, but he stopped her.

“I got you a sandwich.” He unwrapped the food from the bag and handed it to her.

She lifted a slice of bread and examined the ingredients. “No bell peppers or mustard?”

“No. I thought you hated those.”

“I do,” she whispered. He knew her so well—down to how she liked her sandwiches…

He knew her.

She shook her head. “I really should go.”

“I didn’t poison your food,” he said sarcastically.

She got up and tugged on her dress, which had dried mud on it, but she didn’t care. Her place was only a few blocks away, and if walking down Main Street looking like a slob was what she had to do to get out of there, she would. Because the world was crashing around her and she was losing hold on her safe indifference.