THE TROUBLE WITH PAPER PLANES(92)

“Be happy,” I whispered, taking his hand and placing it over my heart.

Tears gathered in his eyes and he tried to speak, but nothing came. I knew, though. I could feel it, everything he wanted to say but couldn’t.

“You can,” I said, nodding firmly. “I know you can.”

I reached up to wipe a tear as it slid slowly down his cheek, and I pressed my fingertip to my lips for the briefest of moments, savouring it.

“Forever and always,” I murmured, trying to smile. “Remember?”

He leaned in and kissed me again, his lips trembling on mine. I closed my eyes and wished him the happy life he deserved. I wished him love, I wished him a family, I wished him children who would worship him and grandchildren he would treasure. I wished him a home full of love and laughter and everything we would have had together. I wished him all of that, and so much more.

I withdrew from him slowly, but he grabbed my hands and held on tight. His eyes locked with mine and I felt his body humming, every cell urging him to hang on. And while he was, I couldn’t let him go either. I didn’t want him to hurt anymore, and he couldn’t begin to heal until he released me. So I did the only thing I could.

I pulled my hands out of his and I stepped back.

He fell to his knees, as if I had taken his strength with me. If it wasn’t for Pop’s arm around me, I think I would’ve fallen with him.

Vinnie, who had hovered in the background all this time, did what I couldn’t. He put his arm around Heath’s shoulders and helped him stand. Vinnie had been there to support him, to help him, to protect him, and I loved him for it. Heath would need him now, more than ever.

“I love you,” I said, tears blinding me. “You’re going to be alright, I promise.”

I wasn’t sure if the room was spinning, or if it was me succumbing to the crushing sensation that slammed into my chest, but things began to shimmer around us. The light that had bathed the entire room began to shudder, like heat haze over tarmac. It was time to go, I could feel it. Whatever had been holding me to this place, to this time, was waning. The pull from elsewhere was stronger, I could feel it in my bones.

Pop took me by the hand, like he used to when I was a little girl. He squeezed my hand gently, acknowledging the ache that was tearing at my heart.

The light in the room pulsated, as if it was speaking to me. I couldn’t hear what it was saying, but I understood the sentiment.

I didn’t look back as Pop squeezed my hand and led me out the door.





I WATCHED OVER HIM afterwards. I had to. Part of my soul was there, with him. He took it hard, and it was painful to see, but I had to know he was going to be alright before I could bring myself to leave him again.


I’m glad he wasn’t alone. They helped each other – Mum, Alex, Vinnie and Jas, and their sweet baby girl, named after me. It felt like a cosmic coincidence, that she was there to ease my departure. She was a distraction, sleight of hand, a tonic, in a way. It gave them all something else to focus on, something good.

She was a beautiful baby, and she grew into a beautiful little girl. She had them all wrapped around her little finger, and it made me smile to see it. Vinnie, who could be so headstrong, bending to the will of this little angel so easily. Jas, who bloomed in motherhood, handling it with the same grace and determination that she handled everything else. Mum treated her like a grand-daughter, doting on her, telling her stories of dragons and fairies while brushing her long, blonde hair, so like mine at that age. The perfect mix of wisdom and mysticism, with a tiny dose of magic.

And Uncle Heath. He loved her so much, it made my heart sing.

I watched him grieve for me in private, behind closed doors. He spent long nights sitting out on the jetty in the moonlight, watching the water. I sat right beside him, even if he didn’t know it. I watched sunsets with him, and I was there when he was surfing with Vinnie and the boys. I went to the waterfall with him, and I swam with him in the cool water that mirrored the colour of his eyes. It was frowned upon here, spending so much time with the living, but I didn’t let that stop me. We had found a loophole, he and I, and I was going to exploit it for as long as I was able.

After a time, I watched him fall in love again. I liked her, she was good for him, and she loved him. I saw inside her heart, and his. They were a good match. She made him laugh again, and for that I was grateful. I wanted him to be happy. They were blessed with a child – a boy they named Henry – and Heath became the wonderful father I always knew he would be. He had a home, a wife, a family, and he was content. I began spending less time with him, less time watching over him. I was comfortable leaving him now. He didn’t need me anymore.