THE TROUBLE WITH PAPER PLANES(90)

Emily. Maia. My mind and hers danced. The cracks in my mind widened until there was nothing but space for the memories to gel, to merge themselves with Maia’s and become what they’d always been to begin with – one.

I did as I was told, opening my eyes slowly.

The blue light was pulsing, like a heartbeat, and Pop was there, standing right in the middle of it, smiling. Pop who had been gone, and was now here and finding me. He reached out his hand to me and I went to him, wrapping my arms around his familiar frame and holding on tight.

“I missed you, girl,” he said, rubbing my back gently. “You’ve been gone a long time.”

I wanted to ask how long, but somehow it didn’t seem to matter.

“You need to come with me now,” he said, and he slowly pushed me away so we could see each other. “We lost you, but I can help you find your way.”

My heart swelled as he gently smoothed down my hair. I closed my eyes and savoured the gesture, something he had done since I was a little girl.

“They’re waiting for us,” he said. “But first, we need to say goodbye.”

I opened my eyes. I didn’t want to say goodbye. I’d only just arrived, and it had taken me so long to get here.

He smoothed my hair down with his hand again, smiling in a way that told me he knew better than I did and I needed to trust him.

“Em?”

The sound of Heath’s voice made my knees go weak. I felt like I hadn’t seen him, held him, kissed him for so long, yet I’d only left him minutes before. The thought of having to leave him again, for any length of time, was unbearable.

“It’s not forever,” Pop said, gently but in his own no-nonsense way. “You’ll see him again, I promise. But for now, you must let him go – for his sake and for yours.”

I nodded, tears building behind my eyes.

I had to leave him.

I turned around to find him standing in the doorway of the small room, staring at me, his heart full of love and fear. I could see it now, all of it, everything. How much he loved me, how much he wanted me. I ached for him, just as I knew he ached for me. It cut right through my soul and his.

I saw myself in his eyes – blonde, not brunette. Short hair, choppy layers. Maia’s fa?ade, the disguise I’d unconsciously worn, was gone, and it was just me now. The me that had been taken from him, the me that had come back for him, and the me that would have to leave him again. Here in this light I was everything I’d been before, and part of getting here would mean leaving, following the glow to where I was supposed to be. This was a crossroad, but there was only one option for me.

I wanted so badly not to hurt him anymore. He deserved so much better than that. He deserved to be happy. I went to him, blindly taking the steps necessary to cover the ground between us. What were a few steps when I had followed him so far, crossing borders that should have never been crossed, just to find him again? I reached out and he nestled his cheek in my palm. He closed his eyes and I could feel his reluctance as it seeped through my fingertips. He wanted to believe, but he was afraid to.

“It’s me,” I whispered. “Don’t be scared.”

It was as if he was waiting for me to say the words, and as soon as I did, the fear dissipated, evaporating into the air around us. He wasn’t scared anymore and neither was I. Yes, I would have to leave him, but I would see him again and we would be together. We just had to be patient.

I ran my fingertip tenderly over his eyebrow, and he opened his eyes.

I wanted to freeze this moment in time. I wanted to remember him just like this, and I wanted him to remember me. I wanted to take the love I had for him and place it gently inside his heart where it would be safe for evermore.

With a flash of insight that left me reeling, I suddenly saw our life together, both as it was and how it would be. Years passed, decades – eternity melting away until time was meaningless. We would have that, we two. The realisation filled me with a sense of peace.

He reached up to take my hand in his, holding it to his chest. I could feel his heart beat, fast and strong. And I knew that he would be alright. Between me leaving him here and him joining me in the future, he would be alright.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered, his beautiful eyes filling with tears.

I smiled through my own tears, tears that I didn’t want to shed in front of him because I didn’t want to scare him, but I couldn’t help it.

“I heard you calling me,“ I said. “I followed your voice, and you brought me home.”