Steam (Homecoming Hearts #4)(54)

They were also still the two most observant people in the room, apparently. Ashby was fully aware of the way their eyes traveled between him and Trent as they sat down at their table. Ashby panicked. Had they been walking too close together? He usually tried to be so careful of such things. You never knew what homophobic arsehole was watching.

But it seemed Joey was just eager for gossip. Luckily, though, he was in between Gabe and Blake, so that apparently made him behave. But he clearly wanted to ask where Ashby and Trent had gotten to last night.

Gabe and Blake held up most of the conversation as they ordered, then ate brunch. Trent was unusually quiet, even for him. He had barely said two words after they left the hotel room, which worried Ashby. It was all well and good saying labels didn’t matter and they shouldn’t over-think things when they were naked and fucking. But the real world didn’t stop existing.

Trent was no doubt questioning a lot of things about himself. How he felt, what did this mean for the future? It wouldn’t be the first time Ashby had let a straight guy fuck him only to have him go back to his dude-bro ways immediately after. But before Ashby hadn’t cared.

He cared now.

But what was he really hoping to happen? This was a holiday romance at best, but more than likely just a one-night-stand. He needed to draw back, protect his heart. He’d promised faithfully that he would take a break from men and work on himself. Yet here he was, pining over a guy who was probably already passionately regretting what they did.

Ashby was so lost in thought he didn’t realize his name was being called. He looked up to see Blake smiling at him. “Sorry, man. You hungover, too?”

Ashby tried equally not to blush nor to look at Trent. “Yes,” he said with a laugh and sipped some orange juice.

“I just asked if you were enjoying your vacation?” Blake asked. “TJ said you met at the resort. That’s pretty awesome you were able to come here as well when you weren’t prepared.”

“Oh, no,” said Ashby with a wave of his hand. “I travel all the time. Trent hadn’t booked his flights yet, so it was all very easy.”

“Is that with work?” Gabe asked. Ashby blinked at him. “The travel,” Gabe explained with a smile. “What is it you do?”

Fuck. Ashby had almost made it through the whole weekend as well. “Uh, I’m…between projects right now,” he said evasively. “But I’m lucky that my family is well off, so I’m just seeing some new places for a while. ‘Finding myself,’” he added with air quotes and an eye roll to show he knew how stupid he sounded.

But the guys didn’t sneer at him. “That’s great,” Joey said, nodding at Blake and Trent. “Traveling definitely helped me work out who I wanted to be.” He looked at Gabe and slipped his fingers between his husband’s. “It’s a big wide world out there.”

They had been traveling for work, though. They were touring and doing all sorts of exciting things. Ashby was just bored and running away from his awful ex-boyfriend. He didn’t say that, however. He just smiled and finished his eggs.

Blake, Joey and Gabe managed to chat enough to keep the rest of brunch from becoming awkward, but it was like a black cloud was hovering over Trent and Ashby’s anxiety was eating him up. Ashby had ruined this for Trent. He’d just wanted to spend some quality time with his friends, and yet here he was no doubt worrying himself sick over what Ashby had encouraged him to do last night.

He knew this would be a mistake. And now he had lost what small, budding friendship they’d had together.

Eventually, Ashby was relieved to bid the other guys farewell. At least they all hugged him and made noises about seeing him again soon. Like that would ever happen.

He dared to ask if Trent was okay on the cab ride to the airport. To be fair, Trent blinked like he was coming out of a trance, then smiled at Ashby. There was a tightness to it, but Trent still reached out and wrapped his hand around Ashby’s where it was resting on the seat between them. “Tired,” he grunted. But his smile twitched again as he squeezed Ashby’s hand once more and rubbed his thumb against the back of Ashby’s knuckles.

Little butterflies of hope unfurled in Ashby’s chest. Maybe Trent didn’t hate him. But he was clearly disturbed by what had happened.

Ashby wouldn’t push him again. What they’d shared had been incredible for him, unforgettable. But he was leaving to go back to England in two weeks anyway. At best, he and Trent could remain friends, leaving Ashby the memory of their time together to cherish.

It would have to do.





22





Trent





What the actual fuck was Trent doing?

He was weird with Ashby the whole way back from Ohio and couldn’t seem to think of a single thing to talk about. Give him a script and he’d act the shit out of anything. But trying to pretend he was fine when he wasn’t had turned him into a grunting gorilla.

He felt awful. Ashby was clearly freaking out and Trent should have just told him everything was okay.

But it wasn’t. Trent had no idea what their night together meant. Yes, he’d loved it. And Ashby wasn’t putting any pressure on him to label himself or commit in any way. But Trent knew something seismic had shifted within him and he didn’t know what to do about it.