Shut Out (Bayard Hockey #1)(59)

Jacob stirs beside me and lifts his head. “What the f*ck?”

Ella is standing there staring at us, her face contorted. She appears to be having difficulty speaking.

“Um, Ella, what’s going on?” I pull the covers up over my bare boobs. I don’t usually sleep naked, but then, I don’t usually have people walking into my room without even knocking.

Ella glances at Jacob, squeezes her eyes shut briefly, then turns her gaze to me again. “You slept with him.”

“Uh, yeah.” I clutch the covers, giving Jacob a sidelong glance. Ella’s upset about this? The girl who’s been sleeping her way through the male student body? Also, she knows I’ve slept with Jacob.

“Not Jacob.” She slashes a dismissive hand through the air. “Brendan!”

The name hangs there between us. The air in the room goes thick and very still. My insides seize up.

Ella holds up a cellphone and takes a step closer, and I can see tears in her eyes. “You slept with Brendan. I read the texts he sent you after.”

“What?” I give my head a shake.

“When I was home that weekend, Brendan’s mom gave me his cellphone. They thought it was lost, but they found it in his things. It was dead and they didn’t have a charger, but it’s the same as mine. She asked me to see if I could find anything that would give them some clue about why…why he did it.” Tears slide down her face. “I didn’t want to look at it because I was afraid, but finally I charged the phone and today I read the texts. You slept with him and then rejected him, and that’s—” Her voice breaks on a sob. “That’s why he killed himself.”

I stare at her in horror, my fingers tightening on the covers. I don’t even know what to say to this. Because it’s true.





Chapter 22


Jacob


I don’t know what the f*ck is happening here. My head’s still cloudy with sleep, struggling to wake up and figure out what is going on. Not to mention, I’m sporting serious morning wood.

I remember Skylar talking about her friend Brendan, who committed suicide. That’s what this is about. But holy shit, Ella is furious. And Skylar is sitting there openmouthed and not saying a word.

“Uh, maybe we could have a few minutes to get dressed,” I say to Ella. “Then you two can talk about this.”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” Ella yells, glaring at Skylar. “I’m done with you. How could you do that? It’s all your fault that he’s…” She sobs again. “Gone.” She makes a terrible choking, crying noise that has my guts twisting.

I look between the two women, horrified.

Skylar’s face is pale and crumpled. Now she’s crying too. “It wasn’t my fault,” she says in a shaky voice. “It wasn’t.”

“Yes, it was! You broke his heart and he was devastated. Why? Why did you do that? How could you?” Ella sniffles and swipes a hand across her wet face. “I loved him so much.”

Skylar’s body jerks next to me. “What do you mean?” she says slowly. “You loved Brendan? More than as just a friend?” She sounds bewildered.

“Yes!”

“You never told me that, Ella.”

“I thought you figured it out. And then you slept with him! How could you do that?”

Skylar stares at her friend and the pain in her eyes makes me sit up and slide an arm around her.

“You are dead to me.” Ella spits the words out. “We can never be friends again.” She spins around and stalks out of the bedroom. Seconds later, her own bedroom door slams shut.

Skylar is trembling in my arms. “Oh my God. Oh my God.” She covers her face with her hands and bends her head. Now she’s sobbing—hard, painful-sounding noises. My guts cramp up even more. Christ, this is awful. I don’t understand a lot of it, but it’s awful.

“It’s okay, baby.” I caress her hair. “It’s okay.”

“No.” Her head moves. “No, it’s not okay. Oh my God.” Her body shudders with more sobs. I feel helpless and a little panicky. This is way outside my comfort zone. Skylar is crying so hard I’m afraid she’s going to hurt herself.

I wrap my arms around her, because it’s the only way I can think of to help her, and rock her a little as she cries. Maybe when she calms down, she’ll want to talk about it. Truthfully, I’m kind of dreading that. This sort of scene scares the living crap out of me and I honestly have an urge to jump out of bed and get the hell out of there.

But I can’t do that to her. She’s distraught, as much as Ella was when she came in. They’re best friends. There has to be a way to make this better. Maybe I can help figure it out. Probably not, because I’m an idiot when it comes to female emotions. But whatever—I can’t leave Skylar like this.

She turns into me, still crying, her arms going around my neck and clinging to me. “I’m sorry,” she whispers moments later, when her sobs have eased. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” I smooth a hand up and down her bare back. “I’m not sure what’s going on, but you don’t have to apologize.”

She swallows and nods, her hair all down around her face, and I keep holding her. I give her more time and then she pulls away and draws in a shaky breath. She shoves her hair back but doesn’t meet my eyes.