Shoulda Been a Cowboy (Rough Riders #7)(34)

“Cam? You okay?”


“Yeah.” He ran his hand down her body, pleased when her skin broke out in goose bumps. “It’s late. We should probably try to get some sleep.”


“True. I’ll get the lights.”


The bed dipped and Domini snuggled into his right side, forcing him to wrap his arms around her. Not that he minded. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d held a woman in his arms all night.


Domini was quiet, but it was a purposeful quiet.


“What are you thinking?”


“It’s almost more intimate to share a bed with someone than it is to have sex, isn’t it? Because when you’re asleep you’re vulnerable. It’s back to that trust thing.”


Cam kissed her forehead. “Sleep. You’re safe with me.”


“Maybe I wasn’t talking about me, Cam.”


How the hell was he supposed to sleep now?


The scream woke him. Disoriented, Cam realized it’d come from him.


Shit.


Not now. Please. Not now.


Too late. His body was covered in sweat, yet he trembled so violently with cold that the mattress shook.


“Cam? What’s wrong?”


Rather than look even more weak, he turned on his side, away from her and shivered like a wet dog. Squeezing his eyes tight didn’t stop the images from flashing in his mind. Fuck. He hated this nightmare shit. He kept waiting for it to go away and it never did.


“Ssh. It’s okay. I’m here.” She stroked his back in silence. Supporting him. Calming him. Soothing him.


Pink and orange rays lightened the bedroom windows as the sun rose. Finally he quit shaking, but he hid his tearstained face from her.


“If you don’t want to tell me I’ll understand. But if you do want to talk about it, remember I’m not going anywhere, Cam. Nothing you can say will make me leave you like this. I’ll be right here if you need me. For as long as you need me.”


It wasn’t like her to push and it wasn’t like him to blurt out every horrid f*cking detail, yet he found himself doing just that. “I was back there, helpless, knowing what was coming but unable to stop it from happening.”


“Stop what?”


Say the words. Say them out loud.


“The amputation. I woke up in the hospital and the docs said my leg was gone. But I felt it. I knew it was there but no one would listen to me. They called it phantom limb pain but they were all a bunch of f*cking liars. I fought so hard to get out of that goddamned hospital bed. I couldn’t breathe and when I finally sucked air in, all I could smell was dirty flesh and blood and antiseptic. Then the nurse put me in restraints. That much is true. That really happened when I woke up. But then the dream…changes.


“I’m lost, walking on a road in Iraq, the same road where the RPG hit us. I’m wearing my new leg and a…Jeep pulls up behind me. Full of American soldiers. I’m relieved to see them until I notice they’re all holding chainsaws.


“They knock me to the dirt. One guy puts his boot on my chest to hold me down. The others…” Cam swallowed. “They start to cut off my other leg. Then they cut off both my arms. I can feel every f*cking inch of that chainsaw blade digging into my skin and slicing through the bone. I’m screaming. Not only can I see my blood leaving puddles where my limbs used to be, I smell it. I smell the sand and the heat and my own blood and the exhaust from the Jeep as they drive off and leave me there to die. That’s when I always wake up.”


Domini tugged on his shoulder until he rolled to his back. The horror and sympathy—not pity—in her eyes punched him in the gut. She wiped the beads of sweat from his brow, the tears from his eyes and traced the curve of his jaw. “What can I do?”



He whispered, “Make it go away. Please, just help me forget.”


She fell back to the mattress and attempted to yank him on top of her, apparently forgetting half his ability to balance was propped against the chair.


“Be with me now. Like this. There’s nobody in the world but us, Cam. You’re safe with me.”


The movement of her body was so sweetly urgent, so loving and caring that Cam aligned his cock and plunged into her without preamble. “Hold on to the headboard. Don’t let go.”


When Domini arched back for it, Cam anchored his foot against the footboard and f*cked her so hard the headboard slammed into the wall. Over and over. And since he was sprouting morning wood, he felt as if he could f*ck her for hours. Fuck her until she passed out. Fuck her until he forgot every shitty thing in the world but her.


The first orgasm rippled through her quickly. He sank his teeth into the delicate sweep of her neck and bit down on the magic spot that sent her spiraling into a second orgasm.


“Cam.”


“I know, baby. Again. Come for me again.”


“This was supposed to be for you.”


“It is for me. Being with you like this is the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.”


“Such a sweet-talking soldier.”


“Only for you.” His hair was damp, as were the sheets as their bodies slapped together. The sexiest, neediest sounds tumbled from her perfect lips.