Second Chance(51)

“I suppose.”

“Gee, thanks for your enthusiasm.” Stung, Nate got up and started retrieving his clothes from the floor where they’d been tossed earlier. He dressed quickly with his back to Jack, and when he turned Jack was dressed too.

“I’m sorry this was a crap evening.” Lines of worry and unhappiness creased Jack’s face in a way that Nate hadn’t seen for a while. “Work was stressful today and I’m tired.”

“It happens.” Nate shrugged, trying to be nonchalant, but he was still pissed off by Jack’s attitude.

“I’ll think about telling my parents, okay? But I might need a bit of time.”

“Whatever. It’s your decision. I’m not going to push you into it.”

“But you want me to.” Jack finally met Nate’s gaze and held it.

“If this is going to carry on for a while, then yes. I don’t like sneaking around behind their backs. It was fun for a while in a teenage-thrill kind of a way. But now it feels a bit….” Nate struggled to find the right words: humiliating, hurtful, like you’re ashamed of me. Those all felt too strong given that they were only fuck buddies anyway. “Frustrating,” he finally said. That was true at least, even if it was a watered down version of the feelings that were clamouring for expression. “Right. Speaking of your parents, I’d better get a move on otherwise they’ll be meeting me on my way out anyway.” Picking up his bag, Nate left Jack’s room, and headed downstairs. He heard Jack’s footsteps behind him.

“Bye then. You’re still coming here on Friday and staying over when my parents are away, yes?” Jack sounded as though he thought Nate might want to change his mind.

Nate turned and gave him a reassuring smile. “Yes, definitely.”

“You still want to see me?”

“Twat.” Nate grabbed the front of Jack’s hoodie and tugged him close. “Yes, of course I do.” He pressed a quick, chaste kiss to Jack’s lips. “Okay, I’m out of here. See you on Friday.”

It was freezing, and Nate was walking because Cass had stayed in tonight so he hadn’t had to drive her anywhere first. He zipped his coat right up to his chin and pulled his hat down over his ears.

Sexually and emotionally frustrated, Nate was grateful for the time to calm down and reflect on the evening on his brisk walk home. He hadn’t meant to make the thing with Jack’s parents into an issue. Given the tone of the interactions he’d had with Jack’s mother, Nate wasn’t in a hurry for them to be playing happy families or anything. But Jack’s total reluctance to even admit to his parents that he was seeing Nate on a regular basis made Nate feel unsettled. Jack’s explanation that he didn’t want his parents to know his business hadn’t rung entirely true, and Nate couldn’t help assuming the worst.

By the time Nate got back to his house he’d burned off his irritation, but the sense of insecurity persisted. It was uncomfortable believing that Jack simply didn’t care as much about Nate as Nate did about him when there was nothing Nate could do to fix it.

He let himself in and took his boots off by the front door. He padded through to the kitchen in socked feet, got a beer from the fridge, and then went into the living room where he found his mum watching TV.

“Hello, love. Did you have a nice evening with Jack?”

“Mmm,” Nate grunted.

“Should I take that as a no?” Nate’s mum turned to him, concern showing. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, maybe? I don’t know.” Nate sighed. He sounded about as confused as he felt.

She reached for the remote and turned the television off. “What’s up?”

Nate delayed answering by taking a few swallows of beer. He normally liked to work through things himself, and he’d never been one to confide in his mum. But they were closer than they had been in years, and she was there, willing to listen. Nate could certainly do with offloading some of his worries.

“I’m not sure what’s going on with me and Jack to be honest,” he finally said. “We started off just being friends again, but then it became more. It wasn’t supposed to be serious, a bit of fun more than anything.” Glancing at his mum, Nate flushed, hoping she’d read between the lines. He didn’t want to have to spell it out.

“Okay. I can see why it might not be the right time for serious given Jack’s issues. So what’s the problem?”

Nate looked down at the beer in his hand. “Well, we’re spending a lot of time together. And I think I was kidding myself at the start, thinking I could be with Jack and keep feelings out of the equation.”

“I did wonder.” Her tone was gentle. “But I didn’t think it was my place to say anything.”

Nate glanced up at her, surprised. “What do you mean?”

“I knew how you felt about him when you were at school together. Your crush on him was painfully obvious—to me, anyway—presumably not to him. But I could tell you were mad about him.”

Unable to deny it, Nate’s cheeks heated more. “That was a long time ago,” he managed weakly.

“But those first loves are powerful. They’re hard to forget, and sometimes when people reconnect they can be as strong as ever.”

“You encouraged me.”