Ryan Reign (New York Ruthless #4)(56)

I shrug. “Today has been so… I don’t even know how to put it into words.”

“I know it has,” he presses a soft kiss on my forehead. “But there’s something else going on in there. Tell me what it is.”

I look up into his beautiful green eyes. “Does anything that Paul said… Does it change the way you see me?”

“No.” He frowns at me. “Why would it?”

“I don’t know. I just… Those things he said … about me and him.”

He cups my chin with his hand, tilting my face up towards his. “I already knew what he did to you, sweetheart. And even if I didn’t, why would that change anything between you and me?”

“Well, because it was him who taught me to enjoy pain. And that’s kind of fucked up. And also, that’s kind of our thing.”

He narrows his eyes at me. “I think he taught you to endure pain, not enjoy it, Jessie. The fact that he provoked a reaction in your body afterwards is purely physiological and is nothing you should feel any guilt about. There is a fine line between pleasure and pain, sweetheart. Just because you endure a lot of pain, doesn’t mean you enjoy it. I don’t think that you do.”

“But I do, don’t I? With you?” I breathe.

He shakes his head. “What the Wolf did to you. What was that?”

“Pain,” I whisper.

“And with me. What do you feel? Even when I make it hurt?”

“Just pleasure,” I breathe.

He winks at me and the breath catches in my throat. He’s quiet for a while and then he turns to me.

“You never did give me an answer to my proposal, Jessie.”

“You mean your plan to marry me off to Conor and give you a whole tribe of nieces and nephews?”

“Yes.”

“But then I’d have to live without you.”

“I’d still be in your life, sweetheart. Just not like this.”

I blink away a tear that falls from the corner of my eye. “Is that what you want?” I whisper.

“I want you to be happy.”

I arch an eyebrow at him. “That’s not what I asked you.”

“I will never love anyone the way that I love you, Jessie Ryan,” he breathes.

“Does that mean we’re written in the stars?” I smile at him.

“Forever.”

“You still haven’t answered my question, Shane.”

“Because you already know the answer, sweetheart. But I’d do anything to make you happy and you know that too. I want to make sure you don’t turn around in thirty years’ time and wish you’d made different choices. I want you to have options.”

“I love you,” I whisper.

“I know,” he growls before he rolls on top of me, sealing my mouth with a kiss and I melt into him, forgetting all about the drama of our lives, if only for a little while.





Chapter 41





Conor





The sound of the front door opening wakes me and I look up to see my two younger brothers falling through it. Drunken assholes.

“Shhh!” one of them giggles as they make their way into the room.

“Did you two drive in that state?” I snap at them as they stumble over to the sofa.

“No!” Liam shakes his head while Mikey giggles. “We got a caxi-tab!”

Fuck me! “Get to bed, you pair of fucking buffoons.”

“Con, I don’t feel well,” Liam suddenly groans as he falls onto the sofa. Mikey stumbles and I catch him in my arms. The alcohol fumes almost knock me on my ass. “Have you two been drinking tequila?”

“Yesh,” Mikey says with a nod.

“For fuck’s sake!” I say with a sigh as I lower him onto the sofa.

They slide against each other as their eyes roll in their heads. I haven’t seen them this drunk since they were teenagers. “I am not wiping up any of your puke tonight,” I snap as I cover them with the huge fleece blanket from the back of the sofa.

“Conor!” Liam groans sleepily. “I feel sick!”

“Well that’s what you get for drinking your body weight in tequila, numb-nuts.”

“Numb-nuts,” Mikey giggles before he passes out.

I sit on the armchair and run a hand over my face. I’m sorry I waited up for them now. Now I’ve got to sit here and make sure they don’t choke on their own puke. I feel like I’m the only one keeping a lid on shit here. I’ve hardly had any time with my girl. I’m constantly fighting fires. I wonder if this is what Shane feels like all the time?



It’s light by the time the twins wake up. Liam groans loudly as he pushes Mikey off him.

“Fuck!” Mikey hisses as he rubs his eyes and sits up. “What time is it?”

“Seven a.m.!” I say.

“What time did we get home?” Liam asks.

“About one.”

“How did we get home?” Mikey blinks at me.

I arch one eyebrow at them. “In a caxi-tab, apparently.”

“I’m going to bed,” Liam sighs as he goes to stand up.

I frown at them. “Not just yet.”