Ryan Reign (New York Ruthless #4)(55)

“You are neither of those things, sweetheart.”

“So show me. Prove to me that nothing has changed between us.”

“Jessie,” I groan. “I can’t hold back with you. Not tonight.”

“So, don’t. I need you too, Shane,” she pleads.

She is so fucking sweet. I don’t deserve her, but I’ll take her anyway. I drive into her, forcing her a few inches up the bed and her pussy grips my cock so tightly it’s a struggle to pull myself out of her again, but I do, only to drive into her even harder. I wrap my free hand around her throat and squeeze gently.

“Shane!” she gasps as she wrenches her lips from mine, blinking up at me with those incredible blue eyes and it only makes me want to fuck her harder. I rail into her, my anger and my guilt dissipating with every single thrust. She is everything I need.

“I love you, Jessie,” I groan before I seal my mouth over hers again.



I press my forehead against hers, our breathing fast and hard and our bodies beaded with perspiration. I brush her damp hair back from her face and she smiles up at me. Despite what I just did to her – all of the anger and guilt I just poured into her – she fucking smiles at me.

“I’m sorry I said those things to you earlier,” she whispers.

“It’s been a tough day for everyone, sweetheart. I could have handled it better.”

“Did Shane Ryan just admit he was wrong?” She smiles at me and it makes my heart beat faster.

“No,” I scowl at her. “I was completely right, but I could have dealt with it differently is all I said.”

She bites on her lip, that smart mouth of hers ready for a comeback any second, so I don’t let her. “When he took you, I thought I was going to lose my mind, Jessie. For real. Thinking about you out there alone and afraid and not knowing where you were almost drove me insane. That you would put us all through that again…”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers as her eyes fill with tears.

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad, sweetheart.” I brush her hair back from her face. “I just want you to understand how much the thought of losing you terrifies me.”

“I know.”

I close my eyes as the memory of feeling so helpless comes flooding back to me.

“Shane?” She reaches up and trails her fingertips over my cheek until I look at her again.

“When I realized it was Paul who’d taken you, the thought that you might think I’d known, and that I’d betrayed you…” I can’t finish the sentence because the words stick in my throat.

“I didn’t think that. Not even for one second.”

I smile as I kiss her forehead and roll onto my back. She turns on her side and lays her head on my chest, running her fingertips over my abdomen.

“I love this tattoo,” she whispers.

I look down at the one she is tracing. It is a Celtic cross with a Gaelic phrase wrapped around it. Each of my brothers have one too. “It means ‘Always Remember.’”

“I know,” she whispers. “I googled it. It’s beautiful.”

“We should get you one, too,” I laugh, only half-joking.

“I don’t like needles,” she says with a shiver. “But you’re welcome to get one of my face or something?”

“Your face?”

“Yes,” she giggles.

“And where on my person would I get such a work of art?”

“Hmm?” she chews on her lip. “Your ass?”

I laugh out loud at that and she does too before she falls quiet again.

“You know what I realized in that horrible basement this morning?”

“What’s that, sweetheart?”

“How much faith you have in me,” she breathes.

“You did?”

“Yes. I don’t know if I could have said those things I did to Conor or the twins without breaking their hearts, even if it was only for a few moments, but I knew that you would get it. Even though I was looking at you, I knew that you would understand who I was really saying those things to.”

I press a kiss on her forehead. There was a second when she called me a liar that I worried she was starting to believe my uncle’s bullshit, but when she spoke of hatred and disgust, I realized that wasn’t for me. I have experienced the love of this incredible woman and I know that it’s true as sure as I know that grass is green.

“That means so much to me after everything we’ve been through, Shane,” she whispers.

I close my eyes and pull her tighter. “It means a lot to me too, sweetheart.”





Chapter 40





Jessie





I lie in Shane’s arms, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. It usually soothes me, but now my mind races with questions and not enough answers. I wonder where the twins are and when they’ll come home. I hope they can forgive Shane for keeping the truth from them so we can get back to our happy little unit. But mostly I think about the ghost of the Wolf. Even though he’s gone, he still haunts me.

“Tell me what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours, sweetheart,” Shane says as he brushes the hair from my face.