Rushing the Goal (Assassins #8)(33)

And not even for Lucy, but for her mom.

It was pathetic that she was jealous of her mother, but she was. Autumn hadn’t let the divorce from Lucy’s sperm-donor father or the cheating scandal ruin her. No, her mother took it in stride. She had her moment of mourning the loss of her almost thirty-year marriage, and then she was right back out there. It was kind of funny watching her crush on the boys’ college hockey coach, and even funnier when she was the one to ask him out. It was cute and Lucy should be happy for her mother, but she envied her.

She wanted to be like her.

She wanted to be able to throw all caution to the wind. She wanted to give Benji a chance. It was insane, but it was all she could think about. That moment she said no when, really, she was screaming yes inside. It was so sad. She wanted to hope it would work between them because he was really proving to be a decent guy. He didn’t have to stay at the rink yesterday and make sure she and Angie were fine. But he did. He also didn’t have to say she looked pretty, but when he did, it meant the world. She may have spent some extra time getting ready because she knew she’d see him. For him to notice was just nice. So why couldn’t she ask him out? Be the one to put it out there? Why couldn’t she be like her idol?

Her mom.

Because their situations were so different, that was why. All her mother’s children were grown, and once her husband was gone, he was gone. She didn’t even speak to Lucy’s dad. Hell, no one did anymore, not after the stunt he had pulled with Jace. Trying to buy him off so he wouldn’t speak to any of them? Please, Jace was the baby. He needed them, and even if he didn’t, he couldn’t give up his momma. He was the biggest momma’s boy in the world.

So really, Lucy couldn’t even put them in the same category. She needed to be happy for the woman who had given her life and supported her no matter what. She was being an ungrateful, selfish brat and she needed to suck it up. And she also needed to let Benji go. Things would never work.

“I just hate him. I mean, how hard is it to let me get a picture to make a copy? I’ll give it back! I’ve always been nice to that little brat, even when he doesn’t deserve it. I’m done. No more Mrs. Nice Guy,” her mother seethed, shaking her head as she moved each dress out of the way violently.

“Mom, those dresses did nothing to you.”

She glared back at Lucy. “Shush. And also, don’t they have a section for women who are older and getting married for a second time? I mean, jeez! I don’t have the boobs for this.”

Lucy giggled as her mother hung up a low-cut dress that had no back. She, in fact, did not have the boobs nor the back for that dress. Lucy did, though.

One day.

Lucy set her with a look. A bored one. “I mean, I don’t even know why we’re here. You two haven’t even picked a date.”

That made Autumn smile, which in return made Lucy breathless. It was a sight, seeing her mother smile. She was so happy now, so in love, and it meant the world to Lucy. Her mom was her best friend, and she wanted nothing more than for her to be blissful. River was really good to her mother and loved all her kids like his own. Hell, he stood up to her father many times in the past year they had been together. He was something, and she was glad he was with her mother. So really, she didn’t know why she was so bitchy when it came to her mother getting married.

“We have set a date. Christmas.”

Lucy’s jaw dropped. “Christmas, next year?”

Autumn shook her head, her hands coming to her chest like some kind of Disney princess. “Nope, this one.”

“Mom! That’s in, like, two months.”

“I know!” she squealed, doing a little jig. “All the boys will be home, there is a small break in hockey for Christmas, and it just feels right. It’s gonna be so small, just us really, and Pastor Dwayne from our church. Nothing crazy or big, just nice and sweet. Us, our family, you know?”

Lucy’s lips curved, tears gathering in her eyes. “Yeah, Mom, that sounds nice.”

“Oh, it will be. Angie will be my little flower girl. You and the boys will give me away, and Baylor will stand up with River. It’s gonna be a tearjerker, I’m sure.”

Lucy was fighting back her own tears at the moment, so no telling what she’d do when they actually had the damn wedding. “I’m sure it will be.”

“I’m excited.”

“I am too,” Lucy said, and she wasn’t lying. For the first time since she found out, she was genuinely happy for her mom. Standing up, she went to her mom, leaning her head on hers. She sucked in a long breath as Autumn’s hand came up to rest on her cheek.

“I love you, baby,” her mother whispered and Lucy’s eyes fell shut.

“I love you too, Mom.” Clearing her throat free of emotion, she stood up and then clapped her hands together. “Now, let’s find you a dress. Excuse me, do y’all have an older bride wedding dress section?” Lucy asked the dress consultant who had just come into the room.

“Oh, yes, ma’am. This way,” she said cheerfully, and they followed her into the other room. “My name is Shawna, and I’ll be helping you. I’m sorry to keep you waiting. My daughter is home sick, and I’m trying to talk my husband through it.”

“Oh, you’re fine. We were man-bashing my daughter’s ex,” Autumn said and Lucy rolled her eyes.