Rushing the Goal (Assassins #8)(35)

“Oh, I’m getting to it,” she said then, her hands coming to lace with Lucy’s. “Can you even tell me the last time you had sex?”

Lucy’s face twisted in horror. “Jesus! I’m not telling you that.”

“Lucy…”

“Mom!” she gasped, a laugh escaping her lips. “That’s personal.”

“Or is it because you can’t remember?” she said, squeezing her hands. Yeah, Lucy was about to cry. Damn it. Her mother was right, she didn’t remember. Somewhere in the last seven years, all that ever mattered—all that still mattered—was Angie. She was the first thing Lucy woke up thinking about, worrying about, and she was the last thing Lucy thought of at night. Nothing else mattered because Angie was it. Angie was her life, and there was nothing wrong with that. That’s the way a mother was supposed to be.

“Angie is my only priority, Mom,” she said, but it was more for herself than her mom. She believed her words, she did, but was she hiding behind them? She didn’t know, but she suspected she was.

“See, and I think the same about you, Jude, Jayden, and Jace. You four are my life, but I’ve always made time for me. I had to, or you all would drive me insane,” she said with a laugh and Lucy smiled. She had that right; the Sinclair kids were crazy. “But, baby, do you not see that in the last few years, you’ve become bitter?”

Lucy’s brows rose. “No…”

“Yes, it started with Jude getting married, and then Jayden, and now Jace.”

Had she? It wasn’t a shock when Jude got married. She knew it was coming, but she always saw him as such a baby. When Jayden got married, he did it behind everyone’s back, as did Jace, so both were shocks. But she was happy for them. Wasn’t she? Yeah, she loved her sisters-in-law. No, she was happy for them.

“I see the way you act when I talk about marrying River. You hate it. You’re jealous and, baby, green may be your color but not envy green. You don’t have to feel like this. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

Crap. Why was everyone pointing out her faults lately?

“Don’t you dare cry,” she demanded and Lucy looked away.

“I just…” She paused, sucking in a breath. “I just don’t know anymore. It scares me.”

“Well, yeah, I’m sure it does. But, baby, don’t you think a happy mommy would be better for Angie than a bitter mommy just trying to get by?”

“I don’t need a man to make me happy,” she shot back and Autumn nodded.

“Never said you did, but something needs to happen. Even if it’s just a vacation of your own, you need to do some things that make you happy.”

Lucy looked away and nodded. Her mom was right; she needed to do something, but what scared her was that her mind went right to Benji.

And she had no clue what the hell that meant.





Ugh, she was running late.

Of course, lunch, shopping, and talking about feelings with her mother always took a lot of time, but she hadn’t realized it would only leave her with twenty minutes to get to her new client. She was hungry, and something smelled in her apartment. When she couldn’t find the source of the smell, she started to panic because it smelled chemical. Like her fridge was about to explode or something. So she called the landlord, who promised someone would come over immediately.

After hanging up with him, she called Rayne. “Hey, send me the address for my five o’clock. It didn’t populate in my calendar.”

“Crap. Sorry, I forgot to transfer it for you,” she said, and Lucy could hear the clicking in the background.

“No big deal, thanks.”

“Have fun.”

“Yeah,” Lucy said with an empty laugh as she hung up and waited for the address to come through. God, she was exhausted. Her mother just drained her, physically and emotionally, and she had no desire to do this consult. Not even kind of, but she needed the money. Especially when she had three people coming in for interviews starting Friday for the second design position.

Finally, the address came through and Lucy hit it, the GPS coming up for her. Oh, good, it was only ten minutes from her apartment. Following the GPS while she sang along to some Sam Hunt, Lucy recapped her whole day thus far. It wasn’t a day she’d like to remember, but then, it was. Seeing Angie on that stage, dancing with the grace of an elephant, was one of the sweetest things she had ever seen. She dreaded talking to Rick about pulling her from dance tomorrow, but she would. For Angie.

She thought about how happy her mom looked and how she wanted what her mom felt. She wasn’t sure when she would feel like that, but a part of her considered doing what she said, maybe trying. She didn’t need a man—she didn’t. She was very independent, but maybe she could ask Benji if the offer of dinner was still on the table. She could get her mom to babysit, or maybe it could be on the weekend Rick had Angie.

She smiled at the possibility.

Yeah, she was going to do it.

When she pulled into the stately neighborhood where she knew houses were around a million a pop, her brows rose. The houses on this side of town were high-end and usually were brand-new. Why would someone want her to design here? Wait, was the GPS right? Pulling into the driveway it told her to pull into, she checked the address again and it was right. Looking up at the grayish-white stone home that looked like it belonged in the 1900s and not the 2010s, Lucy shrugged her shoulders.