Rushing the Goal (Assassins #8)(156)

“But, they’re going to investigate for sure, and that’s going to be bad for Benji. It will hit the media, I’m sure, and then everyone will know. This won’t stay quiet. Fuck, this is complicated.”

That’s what she thought. As her body went numb and the tears rushed down her cheeks, she closed her eyes. This couldn’t be happening. They were happy. They were together. Damn it. Crouching down, she covered her face as she cried into her hands.

What in the hell was she going to do?





Sitting on her and Benji’s bed, she felt the tears drip down her face as she stared down at her phone. He and Angie looked back at her, making pig noses. She’d cried the whole afternoon. When she picked Angie up, she couldn’t even look at her, only sent her to her room to pack. She wasn’t sure what she was doing, but she had to do something. After talking to her father, and his calling Rick’s lawyer, she knew it was a done deal. Rick was going forward with the video to open a can of f*cking shit. Her heart was aching, her eyes hurt from crying, and she couldn’t do this to Benji. She couldn’t. She thought about calling her mother, but she knew that would lead to everyone in the family knowing, and she didn’t want anyone to know what Rick was trying.

She wouldn’t let Benji’s name be tainted.

No, she would handle this herself.

She would be okay.

She was always okay.

Dialing his number, she held her breath as she waited. When he answered, her eyes fell shut.

This was going to suck.

“You’re calling me. That’s weird,” he said, and his voice made her heart skip a beat. “Did you hit the wrong button?”

She bit into her lip as she held back the tears. “No, I’m in a rush.”

“Oh, okay,” he said slowly, and she knew he was aware of the lie she was telling. But he went with it and asked cautiously, “What’s up?”

“Um. Well…” she started, but then she couldn’t do it. She clammed up, her heart in her throat, and she just couldn’t do it. Why would she do this over the phone? And did she really want this? But she had to. She couldn’t put him through this. “I…ugh…”

“Lucy, babe, what’s going on?”

As the tears rushed down her face, she squeezed her eyes shut tightly. She had every intention of breaking up with him, but she just couldn’t. She loved him so damn much, and she just couldn’t bring herself to break his heart and annihilate hers. Losing Benji would destroy her. But what was she supposed to do? She couldn’t let Rick do this to him. To his career. Maybe if she told Rick Benji wasn’t in the picture, he would stop all this and be gone.

But wouldn’t that let him win?

What other choice did she have?

God, she just needed to f*cking think!

Clearing her throat, she held in her sob as she said, “I need some time.”

“Time?”

“Yeah, to think.”

“Um. Okay? I don’t understand. What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice filling with nervousness. She hated to worry him, but she knew him. He wouldn’t let her go if he knew the truth. “You’re worrying me here, Lucy. What’s going on?”

“I’m going to go to Florida with Angie, alone,” she said then. It suddenly seemed like a genius idea. She’d go, clear her head, figure it out, come back, and let Benji go. Then she’d fight Rick by herself. The thought sucked and it hurt, but she had no choice. She loved Benji way too much to put him through that shitshow. She didn’t care how much he said he would stand by her. No one deserved that.

She wouldn’t do that to him.

“What? Why?”

“’Cause I need time to think.”

“About?”

“Us.”

“Us?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“’Cause.” She paused. “I just do.”

“No, what the f*ck is going on, Lucy? Tell me,” he said roughly. “Can’t you wait till I get there?”

“No, we are flying out early,” she said then, even though it was a lie. “I need to clear my head, and I need to do it alone.”

He didn’t say anything for a long time, and each second that passed, her heart broke even more. “I feel like you’re breaking up with me.”

“No,” she tried, but it sounded more like a sob. “I just need to think.”

“I don’t understand the needing to think thing. We were fine four f*cking hours ago when I talked to you. What the hell is going on? I have a right to know,” he said, his voice full of panic. “You know what? Stop, just stop. I’ll be home in a couple hours and we’ll talk.”

But she knew she couldn’t do this face-to-face. She couldn’t walk away, and she knew she’d let him talk her into letting him go through what Rick was about to do. No, she couldn’t do that to him. It wasn’t fair.

Life wasn’t f*cking fair.

Nothing ever was.

She had everything she ever wanted, and just like that, it was about to be ruined.

But that was her life.

She’d always said, if she didn’t have bad luck, she’d have none at all.

Such bullshit.

“I can’t. I already paid, and Jace and Avery are expecting us.”