Ruin:Part One(14)

"I need to tell him that I know you." Mincing words at this point seems trite and unnecessary. We both know that I'm obligated to Noah.

His head shakes slightly. "I don't want you to tell him about me."

I don’t want to have the conversation either but I owe Noah. I can't walk back into his home and not reveal the fact that I've been sharing a bed with his twin brother. That's not who I am. I can't do that to Noah, but more than that, I can't do that to Alexa. She has been the one person in my life who has been steady and composed the last few weeks. "I have to tell him."


"I want to tell him." He pushes his hands into the pockets of his pants. "Let me tell him, please."

There's no need to offer a plea. "You'll talk to him?"

"Yes." There's nothing more to sustain his answer. He doesn't elaborate.

"When?" I push because I need to. I'll be leaving Alexa and Noah's home tomorrow to settle into the small, one bedroom in Murray Hill. My life will no longer be connected so literally to theirs, but I'm part of their family and they are part of mine. A secret this size can't be tucked away in a corner. It builds in size every day. It increases in depth when it's willfully ignored. I don’t want what I have with Ben to end. There's a whisper of promise there that I want to nurture.

"Come back and talk to me tomorrow." He takes a step towards the door. "I really need to get to work."

My stomach tangles in a knot so big I fear I'll trip over it if I move. "You want me to go back there and not say anything?"

"I want you to trust that I'll tell him soon." It's a morsel meant to placate me.

I stare into his face. His expression is unreadable. He's asking me to entrust my friendship with Alexa into his hands. They are hands that I barely know but want desperately to believe in. "I don’t know."

"Kayla." His hands jump to my face, cupping my cheeks within them. "I need a bit of time to process this. I promise I'll talk to him soon."

I want to see the truth behind the words when I look into his eyes. I need to. I bow my head in acceptance fearing that the silent promise I just made will cost me Alexa's love and friendship if she ever finds out that I already know Noah's twin brother. All of this may ruin our connection forever.





Chapter 11




"Doug said you didn't go home with him." Her voice is behind me. I hadn't closed the door to my bedroom when I raced into the apartment and down the hall. I knew I was alone the moment my key unhinged the lock. The space was quiet and empty.

I don't turn around to greet her. "He just wanted to have sex with me."

"Don't all men just want to have sex?" She blinks through a smile. "Is your face bruised?"

I instinctively want to retreat as she walks towards me. "I tripped and fell."

"What?" Her hand dashes over my cheek, skimming the edge of a bruise. "When did you fall?"

"When I thought I could wear heels on a sidewalk grate." I pull her hand into mine. If she pushes my hair away from my forehead, she'll see the abrasion. I don’t want that.

Her face lights up with a smile. "I've done that too. I fell into a hotdog vendor's cart a few months ago."

I laugh at the vision of that. "You're lucky he didn't sue you."

"I know, right?" She pats my forearm. "You're home early. Did you go to work today?"

Lying to Alexa isn't a path I want to venture down. I'm sure she's told me her fair share of small white lies, just as I have to her since we met. If I make a decision to lie now, I'll be changing the entire course of our friendship. "I can pick up my keys to my apartment in an hour."

She raises her eyebrows at me. "Seriously? I'll come with you."

"I'm excited to have my own place." I continue the detour around the subject of where I was last night, hoping she'll hold on for the ride.

She doesn't. "You were with a man, weren't you?"

I nod as my hand jumps to my chin.

"Maybe I can meet him sometime?" She tilts her face forward. "Is he someone I should meet?"

You have no idea, Alexa. You have no f*cking idea.

"You'll meet him," I say with every confidence. "I know you will."

"Good." She turns on her heel. "I'll tell Noah we're going to your place."



***



I plow through my day, listening to Vivian's incessant ramblings about what happened on the latest episode of a crime drama that hasn't seen a production schedule in more than a decade. I should really tell her to Google that entire episode guide to save her the endless hours she'll stay glued to her laptop, watching a handsome, fit detective solve a crime, without any strings attached, in less than an hour.

"Were you seriously hurt?"

I turn abruptly to face the voice asking the almost-too-personal question. "I'm fine."

It's Vivian. The concern in her tone is masking the unusually high lilt in her voice. "I was worried when a doctor called."

"I was concerned about missing work," I offer in response. "I wanted to be here. I'm sorry I couldn't be."