Ruin(54)

I couldn’t trust myself to speak so I just stared into his crystal blue eyes and prayed the nightmare would vanish.
“Will you…” Wes licked his lips and fidgeted with my hands. “Will you stay with me?”
“Nightmares?” I tried to joke, but the tears kept streaming.
“Yeah,” he choked. “Nightmares. I kind of need a knight in shining armor to chase them away.”
“I’ll fight them,” I whispered. “I’ll protect you, slay the dragon, and wait for you in the castle.”
“Promise?” He smiled, his eyes full of tears.
“With my whole heart.”
“I love your heart.” He sighed against my head.
“Hearts and hair, huh?” I placed my hand over his chest.
“Hearts and hair,” he repeated. “Just do me a favor.”
“Anything,” I whispered.
“No matter what happens over the next few days, promise me you’ll finish the list.”
“Wes—”
“Promise me,” he said sternly.
I closed my eyes as warm tears began to fall all over again. “I promise.”
“Good.” He exhaled. “Good.”



Chapter Forty-One

I held her tight all night. Later on when Gabe came in I told him I was keeping her. With a smirk he told me he’d return with some fresh clothes. A year ago I wouldn’t have picked him out of a crowd — now it felt like he was my best friend. And I owed it all to the girl sleeping in my arms.

Weston
I didn’t have any nightmares, and by five in the morning, when the nurse checked on me again. I felt back to my old self.
Except for the fact that they moved the surgery forward. It was going to happen in less than five days. Which meant my time with Kiersten was now severely limited. In six days I could be dead, and if I wasn’t dead I’d either be in a coma or be sent home to die. I told Gabe I’d fight and I wanted to, but it was hard to be optimistic, so damn hard.
I prayed over and over again that God would spare me, not because I cared that much about my own life — but because I cared about hers.
Sleep wasn’t happening, so by the time Gabe stopped by with a duffel bag I was wide-eyed and ready for coffee — anything but those damn pills they kept forcing down me.
“Sleeping still?” Gabe whispered when he walked in.
“Like the dead.”
“Not funny, man.” Gabe’s voice hitched as he took a seat and put his head in his hands. “So not funny.”
“Too soon?” I laughed.
“I can’t…” Gabe licked his lips and looked at me. “There are others more deserving of cancer, you know? That’s what gets me. Why does God allow people like you—? People who have such a bright future — why do you get cancer when mass murderers live their lives in jail getting to watch free HBO? I don’t get it.”
“I don’t know, man.” I sighed. “I can’t explain it. I guess that’s just what happens when we live. Nobody is promised anything. That’s why life’s so precious.”
“It should have been me,” Gabe whispered so I almost couldn’t hear him.
“Gabe?”
“What?” He snorted. “Do you even realize that type of life I’ve led? The drugs? Sex? Girls? Stealing to get high? Shit, man, it should have been me. I would…” He choked on his words and looked away. ”I would take your place. I just want you to know. If God told me that was my penance for living the shitty life I’ve lived, I’d take your place. I asked Him, hell, I begged last night, and you know what? Nothing. Silence.”
“So live a better life,” I snapped. “Do better. Be Better. Don’t let my life be wasted. If I need to be sacrificed in order for you to get that, then that’s fine. Just don’t let it destroy you, let it renew you.”
Gabe sniffed. I could tell he was minutes away from losing it. Hell, I’d been that way all night. It hurt like hell to keep the tears in, to stay strong when the love of my life was lying against me crying in her sleep.
“How’s my favorite patient?” The nurse walked into the room and grabbed the clipboard. “You ready for your MRI?”
No. Hell, no. I didn’t want to know the truth. So I’d asked them not to tell me. If I was going to die I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to go into surgery with the mindset of defeat.
“Sure, let me just wake Sleeping Beauty.”
Gabe jumped to his feet. “I’ll just be outside. I’m sure she’ll be hungry.”
“Gabe,” I called after him.
He turned. “Yeah?”
“I do have one favor to ask.”
“Anything.”
“I need you to do something for my girl.” I smiled and licked my lips. “She’s going to be pissed, but promise me you’ll do it.”
Gabe laughed. “I like the idea already.”
“I’ll text you the details later. I have it set up for tomorrow, okay?”
“Sounds good.” Gabe waved and walked off as I leaned down and kissed Kiersten’s lips.
“Mmm,” she moaned.
I kissed her lips again. Her eyes fluttered open. “Tell me it was a bad dream, Wes.”
“Not a bad dream, just not my favorite.” I brushed the hair from her face and closed my eyes as it ran through my fingers. “Now, as much as I love having you plastered against me, that nice nurse standing over there needs to take me for my MRI.”
“Oh.” Kiersten jumped to her feet a little unsteady at first and then shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans. “I probably look like a mess anyways. I should go get a shower.”