Ruby Shadows (Born to Darkness #3)(91)

I moved a little way down, looking at a different section.

“The Case for a Creator…The Case for Faith…” I looked at Belial. “These are really some of his favorites?”

“Lord Laish always says you must know your enemy’s mind in order to outwit them. To that end, he is very well read.”

“Oh,” I said. “So these are all just for research.”

“Possibly.” Belial made a back and forth motion with his hand. “Though to be honest, I believe Lord Laish reads them for pleasure as well.”

Hmm, so Laish liked to read—there was something I hadn’t known about him. I continued down the shelves. Angels and Demons…After the Fall…Fallen: When Pride Kills Reason… Suddenly Eryn fluttered up from my shoulder and settled on the spine of a book I hadn’t seen. It was so small and thin it was almost lost among the other thick volumes on the shelf. I bent down a little to get a better look at it. “Angels Unawares,” I murmured, watching as my little pet crawled up and down the spine of the book, fluttering her winds eagerly. “Are you excited because this reminds you of Heaven, little girl?”

She flapped her wings again and only returned to my shoulder when I pulled the book out and tucked it under my arm. Then I had a thought and turned to Belial.

“Um, is this okay? Do you think Laish would mind if I picked a few to borrow for a while?”

“If he has shown you his second most powerful form and given it up for your sake, I doubt he would object to you borrowing from his shelves,” Belial said dryly. “Besides, Lord Laish has always been in favor of learning. Though he draws his power from fire and lust, he has the mind of a knowledge demon, as I have often told him.”

I was still awed by the sheer volume of books in the room but something Belial said bothered me.

“Did you say he draws some of his power from lust?”

“Indeed he does.” Belial’s complexion darkened to a dusty purple and I realized he was blushing. “Ahem…lusty acts for want of better words, have always fed his power nearly as much as the fire does.”

I flashed back to the night before. How Laish had been at the end of his strength. He’d told me that it would take a long time for his powers to return. Yet after we’d…done what we had done together, he had seemed to feel better immediately. He’d even said to me that he felt “much stronger” afterwards.

Maybe he was using you, whispered a little voice at the back of my head. Using your lust to build up his power.

I tried to push the thought away but I couldn’t help finding it disturbing. When Laish had wanted to touch me last night, he’d said it was just because he cared for me. What if that wasn’t true at all? What if he just wanted to use me like a battery, to recharge?

Don’t be ridiculous, I told myself uneasily. Think of all the things he’s done for you, all the times he’s saved you and protected you. He gave up one of his most powerful forms for you! Surely he feels something—it can’t all be pretend, can it?

I was sure it wasn’t. I’d been feeling closer to Laish and he’d treated me so gently…touched me so tenderly the night before. Surely it wasn’t just to build up his own power—was it?

I told myself I was being silly, but in my heart, a tiny seed of doubt had been planted. A seed that took root and began to grow almost at once.

To distract myself from my dark thoughts, I moved to another section of books. There was a whole row of rare spell books and grimoirees I knew Grams would give her eyeteeth to get just a glimpse of, as well as several about the Goddess, the benevolent entity who embodies the spirit of the Earth herself. Witches are especially close to her though I had an uncomfortable feeling she would not approve of what I had been doing lately.

Trying not to think about that, I picked a few of the spell books at random and turned away to examine the rest of the room. There was a massive stone fireplace in one rounded corner with a comfortable looking red leather couch in front of it. The only thing that seemed out of place was an old fashioned oval mirror in a tarnished gold frame standing by one arm of the couch. A quick glance at it showed that it was cracked in several places—I wondered why Laish kept it since it was obviously broken. It gave me a slightly uneasy feeling but I didn’t dwell on it for long—I was too busy looking at the couch.

I could just imagine curling up on that warm red leather with one of the innumerable books and reading comfortably for hours, maybe with a nice cup of hot tea in one hand. It would be the perfect way to unwind after a stressful day and the Goddess knew, I’d had several of those in a row lately.


“Well, this is a cozy set up,” I remarked, walking over to the couch. “All you need is a roaring fire in the fireplace and a cup of hot cinnamon spice tea and you’re good for the evening.”

“Do you like to read then?” Belial sounded pleased. “It is also one of Lord Laish’s favorite ways to pass an evening. He spends most of his time here when he visits Dis.”

“I would too.” I smiled at him and sat on the couch, being careful to pick the side farthest from the strange, cracked mirror. I liked the feeling of being surrounded by books—loved the warm, spicy scent of them that filled the air. That scent calmed me down and made me excited at the same time. It made me think of adventures in far off lands and the comfort and safety of sitting in my mother’s lap when I was little, being read to.