Rock Redemption (Rock Kiss, #3)(63)

“Leave it.”

Noah had never yelled at Kit. Never. He still hadn’t. But the cold whip of his voice made her flinch. She’d heard him use a similar tone against people he didn’t like or those who were getting in his face, but he’d never used it on her.

At first she was hurt—and then she got mad.

Coming around the counter, she stood half a foot from him, arms folded. “You think you can do that to me?” she asked, her fury as hot as his was cold. “Just freeze me out with the famous Noah St. John temper?” So angry it felt as if her skin glowed red-hot, she shook her head. “It doesn’t work that way. Friends care. I care.” He knew that; what use was hiding it? “You’re running on a razor-thin edge.”

His eyes glittered, unrelenting stone and icy mists. “What’re you going to do? Hug me and make it better? Wave a magic wand to make the insomnia disappear?”

Kit gritted her teeth, but she couldn’t quite control the scream that wanted to erupt from her throat. “I sure as hell don’t intend for you to give yourself a heart attack from sleep deprivation or endless running just so I can get a part!”

She slashed out a hand. “We’re done. We’ll break up in a big dramatic deal, and you can pick up one of those women who allow you to get some sleep.” Yes, that hurt, that f*cking hurt, but this was Noah’s life they were talking about.

“No.” He grabbed her upper arms, hauled her close. “I promised you I would do this.”

Shoving at his chest, Kit tried to pull away, but all she succeeded in doing was taunting herself with the muscled heat of him under her palms. “I’m releasing you from the promise.”




Noah wanted to shake her, but he’d never chance hurting Kit. “I won’t release myself. I need to do this.”

“This isn’t your redemption, Noah,” she said, her eyes so passionate with emotion that they seemed to glow. “You don’t need to do this to save our friendship. I’m being your friend now.”

“If you’re my friend, then you let me do this.” Even if I can’t give you anything else, I can give you this. “You damn well let me do this, Kit.”

“I won’t watch you drive yourself into the ground!”

“I won’t. I’ll take a pill tonight. I’ll sleep.” The nightmares would ravage his drugged mind, but it’d be worth it. “I’ll sleep. I promise.”

Her expression altered, the anger suddenly intermingled with so many other emotions that he couldn’t separate them out. “Why won’t you talk to me, Noah?” she whispered, placing one hand against his cheek.

The touch was hesitant and he hated that, hated that he’d made her afraid of touching him in friendship, in affection. Raising one of his own hands, he held hers against the stubbled roughness of his cheek. “You know me better than anyone else in this world.” Fox knew the details of one thing Kit didn’t, but Fox didn’t know his heart, not like Kit.

“I don’t know why you hurt.” A harsh whisper. “Why you hurt so much that you do things that make you deeply unhappy.”

Sliding his hand into her hair, he tugged her against him, held her stiff, angry body close. And didn’t want to let her go. Not today. Not tomorrow. Never. “Be with me,” he whispered, knowing it was the most selfish thing he’d ever asked of anyone in his entire life. “Be with me.”

Kit froze against him, a flesh and blood statue.

“I can’t be what you need,” he whispered against the side of her head. “But be with me anyway.”

Kit’s body stayed rigid, her breathing so quiet he wasn’t sure she was breathing. Noah knew he should release her, call back the words he should’ve never spoken. But he stayed silent and he held her tight, right against the twisted, scarred, selfish heart that beat only for her.




Fifteen minutes later, and Kit didn’t know what she was going to do. Being with Noah, having him for her own, it was all she’d ever wanted, but not this way, not when he couldn’t even sleep from the strain of being faithful. It sounded so stupid to put it that way, but how else could she explain it? Noah seemed to get a kind of peace—fleeting though it was—from his random hookups that she couldn’t give him.

“Kit.”

Glancing up from where she was sitting on the edge of the bed, having just put on her boots, she saw him in the doorway. He’d thrown on a leather jacket over his black tee, and it just intensified the rock-star vibe. But his eyes… his eyes were vulnerable.

“Rain’s stopped,” he said.

Unable to bear looking into those eyes that asked her for things that might break her, she got up and tugged at her own leather jacket. “We’ll look like those twin couples.”

“Yours is brown and sleek, mine is black with buckles and zippers everywhere. Totally different.” He shifted out of the doorway, angled his head toward the front of the bus in a silent invitation.

“Where are we going?” she asked as they stepped outside and he wrapped one arm around her shoulders. Around them, the festival grounds were damp and still sleepy. The first show wouldn’t kick off till nine, and Schoolboy Choir wasn’t on until four that afternoon.

“Just for a walk.”