River's End (River's End Series, #1)(96)

“Let you know?” she repeated. Could Jack mean any of this?

“Yeah, let me know. I think you love me. I think you wouldn’t be acting the way you do if you didn’t. I can live with that, Erin. I can give you all the time you need. Just let me know when it’s enough.”

She frowned, and glared at him. “What do you think will happen with us? I’ll somehow step in and what? Become something to Charlie? Or to Ben? Have you met me? I’m the worst person for you to share your life with.”

He shook his head and smiled as if he knew some secret she didn’t. “I think I was a jerk to let you think that. It simply protected me from admitting what I was so scared to admit. I’m gun-shy, Erin. I lost a wife once, and it’s impossible for me to think of facing something like that again. But I would, for you. Because I love you. I think you love me, and we can make the rest of it work. I think tonight though, we should go to dinner.”

“Go to dinner?”

“Yeah. Like going out to dinner. Like a real couple. The couple you’ll someday get used to being with me.”

Saying that, he turned on his foot and walked away, leaving her staring after him with her mouth open, and her eyebrows lowered in confusion.





Chapter Twenty-Six


Jack deserved Erin’s denial and rejection of what he knew was true. He’d been in love one other time in his life, and could never mistake the feelings. But he was to blame with how piss poor he treated Erin. He denied her, as well as himself, and blamed it all on what happened with Joey, when really, Joey was nothing to the equation at all. Joey was merely the catalyst for Jack to finally face what he was so afraid to face: being in love again.

Joey was sitting on the bottom step of the porch with two black eyes, and a big lip. He had a bag of frozen peas on one eye. He watched Jack walking up, and appeared weary.

“So, I guess I screwed this up.”

Joey stared at him for a long moment before a smile tugged on his cracked lips. “You could have just told me.”

“You didn’t have to be such a dick to her.”

Joey nodded. “I think I was just pissed off. You were so sure Erin was a mistake for me; I guess the blatant hypocrisy didn’t sit too well. The thing is: she was right; I was always in your shadow. I wanted you to be proud of me. And you weren’t. Not about Chance. Or about Erin.”

Jack kicked the dust and glanced at his scuffed toe. “Yeah, well, she was a mistake with you, Joey. I was jealous. I should have told you, and her, hell, even myself, a long time ago. I didn’t want you to have sex with her. I didn’t want anyone else to either. I wanted to, but more than that, I liked her. I blamed you and her for why I couldn’t have her. The thing was: it was purely because of me. Because of Lily and my fear of loving again. Whatever, it was my fault. I shouldn’t have hit you.”

Joey was quiet and finally smiled up at Jack. “I shouldn’t have called her those names. You really love her?”

Jack took Joey’s smile as permission to sit down, which he did next to his little brother. “Seems so. She doesn’t believe me. She thinks I said it just to look good in front of my kids.”

“You deserve that, Jack.”

Jack chuckled. “I do. I deserve that.”

Joey smiled. “She’ll come around.”

“I intend to wait it out. You okay with that?”

Joey nodded. “I’m okay with that. I probably oughta apologize to her too.”

“You think?” Jack glanced at his brother. “How are you anyway? How long do you get to be home?”

“I’m good, Jack. I really am. I’m not staying, I’m just visiting temporarily.”

Jack rubbed his sore jaw. “Where’d you learn to hit like that?”

Joey smiled as he began to tell Jack everything he’d been up against lately. Jack listened, feeling glad his brother was home, and happy too that Joey wanted to go back. Erin returned from the beach and walked up to her deck, and inside her trailer. Jack glanced towards the horses now grazing in the sun-drenched meadow beyond, and the river glinting in the sunlight. His sons later joined them. At first they were quiet, but as soon as they realized Joey and he were okay, they opened up, and smiled and laughed. After that, Ian and Shane came out too.

His wife was buried on the ranch. The wife he adored, cherished, worshipped, and finally buried. He had been sure he would never get over it. But he somehow had. Erin was nothing that he envisioned for his life. She was opposite to everything he might have predicted. But she brought him back to life, and his kids, and his home here. Having been here his entire life, not until Erin showed up, did he ever stop and look around to realize what he had, and who he was. He now felt her presence in every breath he took. She was wrong; it wasn’t the ranch that told him exactly where he was supposed to be, it was she. He was there now because of her.

And six months? Nothing. Not when he thought about the shared lifetime ahead of them.

He waited until his brothers drifted off, and Ben went to call a girl in his class, while Charlie ran out to play. He finally began his chores and looked up when he heard the barn door open.

Erin stood there, silhouetted against the afternoon sunlight. She changed into her jeans and cowboy boots. She stared at him, long and solemn, before she finally smiled. It was a smile that twisted his heart and warmed his guts. He smiled back at her, and put his hand out towards her. She stared for a long moment, before suddenly launching herself into his embrace. He caught her, nearly falling over to hold her, as he laughed and his heart lifted.